Janice Dickinson And Mating Pairs

In season four, episode six of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about prospective model couples. It was an examination of which pairs might have a future and which ones are as unlikely a match as would be Gov. Palin and Mensa.

Paul Vandervort and Traci Moslenko: Paul likes Traci a lot, more so after their close contact at the Ed Hardy shoot, and he finally told her so. Traci, on the other hand, sees Paul like a little boy (literally) with a school crush on teacher. She likes him, but she seemed to be a little creeped out about his affection, especially when he kept pecking at her cheek. Paul thinks Traci is hot, saying that when Traci gave him a lap dance it was like he was still at Hooters (because her in his lap was like being served another heaping mound of boneless wings?)

Chandler Maness and Traci Moslenko: In this episode, Chandler referred to Traci as a s!ut and a hooker. Janice saw him do this with her hidden cameras and confronted him on it. She told him he shouldn't speak that way because he could be President. In summary, Chandler and Traci's future together at best would be her giving him a Lewinsky outside the Oval Office.

Crystal Trueheart and J.P. Calderon: J.P counseled Crystal when she felt bad after being criticized by a client. Besides the fact that J.P. is gay, he is not boyfriend material. With his constant comforting and advice. he's too much like Maria von Trapp's mother superior, and who needs someone in their life who is likely to prostitute you out to a retired naval captain with seven kids?

Crystal Trueheart and Chandler Maness: When given an opportunity to pick a man to practice doing some nasty dancing on, Crystal picked Chandler. She doesn't have any special attraction to him, but she wanted to send a clear signal to Sorin Mihalache, who has feelings for Crystal, that she and Sorin are never going to be a couple. You can't blame a girl for not wanting to go back with Sorin to his Hostel village in Romania.

Xian Mikol and Danny Nunez: In the same dance situation as above, Xian chose to shake her booty on Danny. Xian and Danny both have well rounded booty, but it looks good on him, not on her. Xian doesn't have feelings for Danny, but she didn't appreciate her showmance partner Chandler's close attention to Crystal's gyrations, so she decided to get back at him by picking one of his rivals in the model house. Danny clearly did not mind being used in this way.

Danny Nunez and Chandler Maness: Danny believes that Chandler is a "douchebag". Fittingly, their relationship chances are as sour as vinegar.

Chandler Maness and Sorin Mihalache: In this case opposites do not attract. Chandler is the intelligent college man and Sorin is the rube who just fell off the Transylvanian turnip truck. For Chandler, this imbalance could have been okay. Loving to show off and to push people's buttons, Chandler would relish running rational rings around Sorin, but Sorin's limitations with English give Sorin a blissfully ignorant defense against Chandler's verbal volleys. Chandler realizes his talents are wasted on Sorin and that he needs to find someone more resourceful to spar with.

Sorin Mihalache and Crystal Trueheart: Crystal wears haute couture; Sorin wears a cut-off "security" shirt. I can't think of anything else that says it more clearly.

Chandler Maness and Xian Mikol: This is the perfect match. Xian and Chandler appreciate each other's ability to be snide and cold as ice. They are the next Bill and Hillary.

Janice Dickinson and Merlin Castell: Did Fez have a fashion designing cousin? If Fez did, even he would have been to embarrassed to have talked about this one. Between Merlin and Janice, they share the same view on what is the most important need in the world: preserving size zero models. That's a plus, but the deal breaker is that Merlin likes to crack a whip, and there's only room for one dominatrix in a relationship with Janice.

Janice Dickinson And Watching Grass Grow

In season four, episode five of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it became unquestionably clear how dull the show has become and how different this season is from previous ones in its lack of any enticement for tuning in each week. Gone are the risque images of homoerotic bare man booty. Nearly gone is Janice's shredding of the models' dignity and view of their self-worth. The result is that all goodness and no butt shots makes Janice a very dull girl.

In past seasons, there was the constant bickering between Janice and her ex-business partner Peter Hamm that would inject drama and friction into every episode. Now the show has to bring back Brian Kehoe repeatedly in a series of brief and mildly sad debasements of its former supporting star supplicating to Janice for forgiveness and Janice coldly denying clemency. The second time this occurred in this episode, Kehoe stood outside the model house, staring at the door, just waiting for something to happen. How like the experience of viewers this season.

We used to be able witness Janice ripping into the models and telling them how bad she thinks they are. Now we see her being all sweetness and light, as she was when she counseled Paul Vandervort about his concerns with being too short and not being selected by clients. The old Janice would have told Paul to get taller or get out. Now Mama Janice hugs and says everything is going to be okay. Miss Dickinson has become Mrs. Rodgers.

On the show's storylines, I haven't gone along with others' views that everything on this show is made-up but it's getting harder to resist that conclusion. When Kehoe showed up at the TINte Cosmetics shoot, you could easily imagine hearing a director tell Xian Mikol to experiment speaking her line in different ways. To herself, she said: "Why is he here? WHY is he HERE?" To Crystal Trueheart, "Why is he HERE?" To Kehoe, "Why are YOU here?" Hey Xian, one more time, with feeling.

A second contrived event was Nathan Romano from Ed Hardy showing up out of the blue at the model house with his photographer Steven Barston. No appointment, not believable. It appears to have been done to create a gag of Sorin Mihalache shutting the door in their face and making them wait while Janice runs through the house telling her models to clean up. Too cliche.

As I stated last season, I like Nathan Romano, and it is nice to see that he agreed with my comments on how good Payton Brady wore his company's underwear. Unfortunately, the photoshoot this episode lacked the spark and excitement of the Miami runway show. The wearing of two layers of underwear by the models during the photoshoot aptly reflected the tone of everything: safe and bland and suitable for families. Even having Traci Moslenko topless was mitigated by having Payton Brady immediately call his girlfriend to confess and state how pure the event actually was. More interesting would have been to see Payton visit a chiropractor to have his back looked at every having well-rounded Traci jump into his arms.

Strangely, the history quiz led by Janice's daughter Savannah ended up being the best part of the episode. It wasn't very entertaining, but it did allow viewers who learned something from it not to feel like they had completely wasted an hour of their life.

On the other hand, it looks like the show's producers believe their viewers must be somewhat slow witted. They have Martin Ritchie, as the quiet observer, give a inside summary of who on the show is flirting with whom, just in case the viewers couldn't quite comprehend what they had just seen where the models explicitly stated who they were interested in. With that kind of analysis, is there anything left for me to do?

Janice Dickinson And The B Word

In season four, episode four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the B words, plural, and surprisingly none of them apply to Janice.

At the beginning of the episode J.P. Calderon lectured Brian Kehoe about his bad behavior after Kehoe had been kicked out of the model house by Janice. Referring to the way he spoke to Kehoe, J.P. said "I just lost it," although if the subject hadn't been booze and blow you might compare J.P.'s demeanor to Mr. Rodgers teaching a child about sharing or respecting other people's feelings.

J.P. as teacher, father confessor, and saint-in-residence can be a nice character, as it is good to have positive gay figures, but having both him and puppy dog sweet Martin Ritchie as the models that are gay on the show doesn't leave room for having a bed-hopping man-whore model who ends up getting with every guy in the agency. That would be a nice character to watch on the show also. At least the beatified J.P left the door open a crack by telling Kehoe he wanted to be his "[f'ing] friend".

Question: does anyone else think that Janice's watching her spy tv monitors with her hair stylist Duke is just a little too much like the Witch of the East and her chief flying monkey watching Dorothy and her friends through the crystal ball? ("Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleeep.") Unsettling.

At some point Janice stumbled out of her room dressed like a ballerina, lauded her previous experience with ballet, and then told her assembled and quickly horrified male models to put on tights. The guys were unhappy to put on the see-through garment plus dance belt, except of course for the ever agreeable Danny Nunez, who will do whatever the job requires. He mentioned that he is used to being naked a lot on the show. He knows he can't help being an anatomically correct Cuban Ken doll whose pants everyone wants to unsnap as soon as they take him out of the package.

Comment: The recently introduced blurring of the butt shots is treating the audience as if they were children. JDMA is an adult show for adults that want to see some glimpses of uncovered dude tang. The more gratuitious the better. We should be allowed to see an unexpurgated version somewhere, if not the tv then on the web.

After the boys were suitably attired. Janice showed them to Jonette Swider, a ballet teacher, who would be giving them instruction on the fine points of ballet, which is to say how to show off your manhood while simultaneously losing it. She had them stretching and squatting and leaping with their legs split and pointing their toes in strange positions. The scene was brief but long enough to notice that Payton Brady's backfield in motion is quite a sight and to notice with Paul Vandervort that tights come in child size.

At the end of the exercise Jonette selected J.P. as the best participant and Payton as the worst. Given their particular personalities and views of ballet, both were happy with their ranking.

Janice told Danny, Payton, and J.P. to move into the house immediately to help Danny and Payton to book jobs and for J.P. to act as a role model for the younger associates. They were all happy to get the order, but Danny and Payton quickly found out this silver lining had a dark cloud with it, namely having to be around more with nasty, ugly Gabe (Janice's make-up "artist").

To have a little fun, former football players Danny and Payton tossed a few rolls of toilet paper back and forth in lieu of a real ball. Bitch queen Gabe acted as if this was any of his business and while spread out on a sofa with his wanky teeth and flabby belly exposed started criticizing the waste of the rolls and connected it to an implication that Danny's parents were unfit. Now I don't know Gabe's background, but he has always appeared to me like the worst kind of repulsive, smelly trailer trash, so maybe his family couldn't always afford toilet paper and seeing rolls wasted brought back an unpleasant memory to him. Nevertheless, he should keep his mouth shut around his superiors and not make clear what a loathsome creature he is.

Danny and Payton tried to be polite about it, but Gabe's hate filled invectives were bad enough that Payton had to eventually reply in kind . Janice overhead only Payton's comment and asked him to leave, not realizing that Gabe had been the one responsible for the turmoil. Once Janice found out that Gabe had called Payton a redneck, she gave Gabe a good slapdown, which caused Gabe to storm out of the house. Let's just hope he moves back to skankville and stays there permanently.

Buddies Danny and Payton moved their stuff in and went looking for sleeping quarters. Payton had said he loved the thought of being in a big house in a big bed. (Cue the Southern, laid back version of "Wouldn't it Be Loverly?") Chandler thought there was a pair of bunks in his room where Janice asked who was the top and who was the bottom, even though it is clear that they are both tops (as well as Janice who said "me too.") It was not meant to be though as they found the bunks were spoken for so they turned an alcove in the living room into their private VIP clothing-optional gentlemen's club. I want on that guest list.

Janice Dickinson And Role Playing

In season four, episode three of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about Janice and the models presenting themselves as they wanted to be seen on camera. Sometimes it was for the better, sometimes it was just bizarre.

The episode began with Janice apparently trying to portray a typical hausfrau, which is as believable as Marie Antoinette pretending to be a shepherdess. She was seen mopping the floor for a few seconds, just long enough to establish her bona fides in front of the camera that she knows how to clean house. She quickly grew tired of it and the mop went back into the hands of her all-purpose Igor, Sorin Mihalache. She then stormed through the house finding things to clean and garbage to throw out, loading Sorin with garbage bags the way the Grinch loaded down his down Max. Janice tried to make a bed but gave up in frustration, claiming her bitch nails wouldn't let her tuck the bedding in. Returning to her true role as queen of the realm, she got the female models to do it while letting them know she considered them pigs. Now that's the real Janice we know and love.

As strange as seeing Janice as a maid was, it was more shocking to see her getting up from bed in the morning and walking around the house in her robe, toothbrush in her mouth, checking on things, without makeup and without hair styling. In summary: visual unpleasantness. I had always assumed Gabe slept at her feet like the lap dog that he is and was ready to do her face as soon as she stirred. Otherwise, what's the point of keeping that obnoxious chihuahua?

Turning to the other wacky star of the show, Brian Kehoe has been pulling out all the stops. In the previous episode, Kehoe spoke privately with Janice and gave a sob story that he had no place to go and that he had slept in his car the previous night. Like in a bad horror movie where you know where such things are going to lead to, Janice let down her guard and allowed the seemingly normal young man to stay at the house.

The start of the unraveling was Kehoe bathing naked in the pool with soap. Okay, strange. It then progressed to loud, irrational confrontations with the other models at all hours of the night. Of course, the pseudo-psychosis was obviously for show. Kehoe did a convincing job of pretending to be a frat boy with paranoid personality disorder on angel dust, but it was clear that it was a put on for the camera. Kehoe is too nice for it to be real and if it doesn't seem real, it is not interesting to watch.

However, for the other models, such a display was still noisy and disruptive so it indeed pissed people off. Even deaf Martin Ritchie said Kehoe was loud. Of course, Martin as always was so sweet and adorable when he said that.

The beginning of the end was at a house party where Kehoe told Crystal Truehart that she should do blow in order to lose weight. Janice heard this and tossed Kehoe out of the house. Though it's beyond unreal, the Kehoe as a nutcase storyline will unfortunately continue like Michael Myers popping up over and over. Maybe it would be best if Janice would bring in a cosmetic skull doctor who could give Kehoe a quick extreme makeover with electroconvulsive therapy and be done with it.

The big client of the episode was Kentucky Denim Jeans, which did a photo shoot with some selected models at the Santa Anita racetrack. The boy models put out for stud were Chandler Maness, Martin Ritchie, Brian Kehoe, Dominic Figlio, and Christian Prelle.

First up was Chandler and Christian on a tractor combine thingy. I think Chandler's best feature so far is his hair. It's versatile. It looked great slicked down for the sophisticated, old world Nicolita look and also great messed up for a rugged farm hand pose. Martin climbed on the apparatus appearing with Dominic. Oh, be still my heart. Martin was totally believable as some sort of red state plow boy. A manly man. I will say at this point that his hair style and especially the color are really working for him. It doesn't look as good in his photos of the past when he didn't have the blonding.

Janice showed up with her super sized Dollar General derby hat. You know, when something looks incredibly cheap I don't think you really want to go large with it. It only needed a hanging price tag to complete the Minnie Pearl goes to the races look.

Janice found out from owner Liat Tala that Martin did a good job. Martin was happy that he was able to show everyone that he could do good as a model. Martin had talked through his interpreter about feeling left out when others are speaking audibly and he can't hear them. He said they forget to write things down in order to include him. I know what he's talking about. I have the same feeling when the janitorial staff at work is speaking in tongues, leaving me wondering what they are saying about me.

Can't forget to mention Paul Vandervort. At dinner one nightm, out of all the models. Janice called Paul over to take away her dishes, although she couldn't remember what his name was. It was then that I realized why Paul looks familiar. At every function I've been to, there is always a cater/waiter that looks a lot like Paul. Put him in a white jacket and he's perfect for the part.

Janice Dickinson And Faux Drama

In season four, episode two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the instigation of faux drama with forced friction between new models and returning models. It's a predictable ploy used on the series and it's probably played out by now. Long-time viewers know that by the end of the season, or at least by the start of the next one, everybody will be model buddies and one big happy PTSD family, so it's not worth investing interest in these little tiffs.

The gimmick of this season is the use of group living for the cast in a "model house", ala Big Brother, Real World, etc. Janice herself plays housemother, which makes the house sort of a cross between the Playboy mansion and a minimum security psych ward. Ostensibly, the purpose of the house was to give Janice Dickinson the opportunity to spend more time with her models, shaping them and keeping them focused. In reality, the concept was used to give the writers inherently more potential story lines to put together. The models, realizing that the house was where the stories and camera time were going to be based, all really wanted to stay within its limited confines. As terrible as it would be to have Janice on their back 24/7, they definitely wanted to be part of Madam Janice's little fame-whore house.

At the end of the first episode, the returning models were incensed to learn that only new models had been picked to live in the house. Only J.P. Calderon, the impossibly benevolent, good-hearted conscience of the agency, said he he was happy for the new models getting to live there. He indicated that he was blissfully ignorant of the anger of the returning models. Question: why are the gay characters on basic cable and network tv usually saints? When can we have gay super s|uts whoring with every drunken straight football player turned model?

It was understandable that the new models would need the most attention, so although I can understand that living in the house could be considered a bonus, it really was intended to be like remedial summer school and as such, anybody not forced to live in the house should have felt good that Janice considered them not needing the extra attention.

Janice pointed out that those not living in the house are still in her agency. She let them how much she still cared for them by saying, "I love each and every one of you. Shut the f*** up and trust me." She's so sweet. Lord love her.

The puke in the group that doesn't deserve any loving is Christian Prelle, who mocked Martin Ritchie's speaking ability. This was a new low for Prelle, lower than the repulsive behavior he showed last season before the PETA rally. Thankfully, Prelle got deservedly slapped by Janice.

To get all the models together, Janice threw a party. Everyone seemed to have a good time despite seeing Sorin Mihalache's mustache and sad little hat. At the party Janice announced that she had picked Maurice Townsell to move into the house. She explained that she hoped his manliness would rub off on the "effeminate" models. She went on to say that she meant it literally, describing some sort of weird, male model marking of territory where "he's going to rub his manly, manly, manly, all over the place." Not in, just over, sadly.

Strangely, Janice then wanted all of the models to cross-dress to show that they could portray different characters. This seem to defeat her purpose for bringing in Maurice as his female persona was unnervingly on target, looking like a $20 street prostitute. Martin, it should be noted, looked terribly sweet as a coquettish, naughty Texas housewife.

Getting down to work, the first casting was for Nicolita Swimwear. The company needed one of the girl models to be the face of Nicolita for the season and the finalists for the part who were selected to do a test shoot were Traci Moslenko, Polina Tretiakova, and CC Fontana. Chandler Maness was also selected, to be the man prop.

The shoot employed a very classy, classic look that I love, like Italy in the fifties. Traci Moslenko's face and hair looked real good, but the featured photo made her look like she had a beer gut. Polina Tretiakova's style just didn't fit the genre. CC clearly had the best photo of the women. Very sexy. Chandler Maness had the best look overall, looking fantastic in a Ivy League look. His one problem was his arm tattoo. It needs to go or have some body makeup on it.

CC had shown up late to the shoot because of her period. When Janice found out about it, she was very angry. Hearing it was because of menstruation, Janice asked CC, "Do you not know every 28 days that you have a blood bath downstairs?" Hearing this word picture of CC and her monthly flash flood disaster was a bit much, but probably better than seeing Janice hurl tampons at CC, shouting, "Plug it up! Plug it up!"

During the shoot, Janice met Anna Babbitt, Traci's manager for acting. Anna explained that she was representing Traci for TV and film. Janice asked, "What kind of film, porn?" Anna replied, "Well, she's going to be in features... soon." (As every other woman in LA is eventually promised.) Regardless, it's an great inspiration for having fun at work. I've started to bring a friend of mine to every business meeting, explaining that he's my agent for TV and feature films. It's a break from my usual intermittent but frantic waving away invisible bugs.

The second casting of the episode was for Kentucky Denim Jeans. Liat Tala, the owner, was looking for some male models (who isn't?) with a few females for background. The men had to try on jeans, which gave us a good number of crotch shots. Sweet! Christian Prelle, Martin Ritchie, Brian Kehoe, Dominic Figlio and Chandler Maness were selected. It will be hot to watch the photo shoot in the next episode.

Janice Dickinson In The Big Mother House

In season four, episode one of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the usual addition of new models and this season, for the first time, the usage of a common abode for Janice and her models. At the start of a new season Janice needs to replenish her stock and that has been a customary part of the show. The use of a single living environment is a significant change to the dynamics of the show (although it is a common element in reality TV) and it will be interesting to see how it affects the drama.

To start things off, Janice Dickinson gave an introduction for the season, bringing her viewers up to date on her partnership dissolution with Peter Hamm. She explained that the separation required a division of the assets and that she was able to keep most of her favorite models. Her list of them by name was J.P. Calderon, Crystal Truehart, Brian Kehoe, Traci Moslenko, Dominic Figlio, Christian Prelle, Payton Brady, Danny Nunez, CC Fontana, and "several others". I don't know how the several other models felt by this pronouncement (especially Michael Anderson who was shown as she spoke the words), but if I were listed in "others", I'm not sure I would consider myself actually to be one of her "favorites".

What can we learn from her enumerated list? One thing is that 7 of the 9 are men, which buttresses my previous statement that predominantly the male models should be shown on the television show, with maybe a few video clips of the women tagged on to the show's web site. However, if Janice were to expand her yet-to-be shown plus-size division by adding a drag queen subdivision, that could be worth watching on TV also. It would be a hoot just to see them all come to every casting dressed and made up to look like Janice.

Janice also asked the question, "And what would the agency be without the ever-loving Sorin [Mihalache] on security duty?" Hmmm, let me think about that. More dignified, more respectable, less bizarre? Is one of those the right answer?

The selection of the new models was done at a VIP (pre-selected) casting call at Siren Studios in LA. Janice Dickinson bounced into the room exuberantly happy to see the prospects. She modestly tried to cut the thunderous applause that the applicants gave at the sight of the legendary world's first supermodel. The camera didn't show if anyone swooned at the experience but I would imagine at least a few people would have had to when received into her presence. Needless to say, Janice looked stunning with her perfect figure and timeless beauty. Her taut boobies stayed perfectly in place.

Janice stated, "All I need is one thing: that capital I-T, that solid it thing that no one else can see but me." Here I have to disagree with Janice. When I'm out hunting down that solid it thing on a Saturday night, I want it to be visible from across the street, preferably hidden by nothing more than a pair of lycra bike shorts.

Sentimentally, my favorite Janice line was "Boys, boys, boys, I need you to do one thing: take your shirts off!" I will leave for another time the story of when I used that same line on a pair of Mormon missionaries.

Here are the models she selected:

• Chandler Maness was concerned about how well he would do considering the competition in the room. He had nothing to worry about although he almost escaped Janice's eye. He shows a lot of personality for the camera in his expression.
• Martin Ritchie is a model who is deaf and looks so cute and sweet. Janice gave him a big hug, which I think a lot of viewers are going to want to do also. His interpreter Jerry Ferris is modelicious himself.
• Paul Vandervort is a diminutive model who has the face and teeth to do okay, but the chest in the side view is looking like a B cup and I just don't find that flattering on a man. When building definition in the pectorals you have to know when to stop, although I realize the temptation to keep going past the limit of where it looks good. It's especially not good on a smaller frame. It makes the proportions out of whack.
• Gavyn Michaels to me looks reminiscent of Paul Rudd.

At some point Janice Dickinson got it in her head that to enhance her oversight of her models she needed to open a "model house" where her best models would live with her and she would keep a close eye on how they prepared themselves to be top-notch model material.

She arranged to rent a suitably sized house and was excited with most of it until she saw her master bedroom. She decided it had to be remodeled before it could be considered habitable. Her choice of decorator was Christopher Ciccone. I have to say this for the sake of completeness: "Madonna's brother", but really anyone who is watching JDMA should already know that. Janice told him that she basically had no money to pay him, so then it's not clear if the lack of money or Chris' (or at least his assistants') lack of taste is what led to the result: a cherry red, Dutch whore house design. I hope Janice was just being polite when she compared the bedroom to the virgin white remainder of the house: "This is more me than the rest of the house." Okay.

In a closet enclosure in her bedroom, it was revealed that it contained a big display monitor connected to many security cameras throughout the house. It sounded too much like a mixture of JDMA with Big Brother and I hope this is not jumping the shark.

To fill the house Janice first "summoned" what she called her "pre-existing" models, as in "pre-existing disease". That didn't sound so good for what might lie ahead. The returning models brought their suitcases and given the circumstances thought they would be living there for the duration of the season's taping. Only the highly astute Kehoe realized that there were too few beds in the house for all of the returning models to use, much like Rose noticed about the number of lifeboats in Titanic. Again, not boding well.

Janice personally brought her bevy of newbies to the house and displayed them to the returning models. She then unveiled the surprise that only fifteen out of the combined total of new and returning models would actually be chosen to live in the house. The returning models felt confident about being selected and so had no problem partying near if not exactly with the new models at the house until the final selection was made. J.P. Calderon arrived late and after being loved by all the returning models he saw the separation between new and old and went out of his way to introduce himself to the new ones. Kehoe was Keyhole to the new models, playing his specified role in this production.

The client in this episode was Nicolita Sainz, a Cuban swimwear designer, who needed one female to be the new face for the company and one male model to be her admirer. You would think Danny Nunez, of Cuban descent, would be a shoo-in, but he still appears too shy and uncertain of himself when auditioning. Instead the male position went to Chandler Maness, who was noted for his expressive eyes.

In the end, Janice Dickinson ended up only choosing nine people to live in the house and they were all new models. Everybody else she threw out. The returning models were understandably angry about the decision, but if they know anything about Janice they should know that her methodology includes making models angry at their competitors so they will try harder to beat them. She does it like prepping pit bulls before a dog fight, but for these doe-eyed models it's really like rubbing a puppy's nose in their own dookie - it has no idea what's going on.

Janice Dickinson And Chandler Maness

In season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, one of the new models that Janice brings in off of the street in her elusive search for the ultimate superstar model is actor-model Chandler Maness. What's notable about him from my perspective is that he appears to be someone that I can report really wants to be a working actor and I don't have to roll my eyes as I type that.

My first view of Chandler Maness was him in a video clip giving a tour of Janice Dickinson's "model house". The house is where some of the season 4 models lived with Janice during the show's taping and it is the big gimmick for the season. I was indifferent about the house, but what I found more interesting was the way that Chandler appeared on camera. He has the face and demeanor that you can tell can play various characters with subtlety and believability. It's a presence that was more than just a model or even an ordinary person walking around pointing out furniture.

Even though Chandler Maness' primary career choice is acting, he still has what it takes to be a model. In episode one of season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Chandler became the first male model of the season to book a job, beating out some of the models from the previous season. As long as you have the right look, I'm sure it's easier to be an actor doing modeling than a model doing some acting, because as an actor one should be more able to evoke the feeling the photographer wants to be portrayed. On the other hand, not being a full time model Chandler probably doesn't work out as much as he would need to, so I wouldn't expect to see him book the hot male underwear and swimwear jobs. His swimsuit pictures on Oxygen.com clearly aren't as favorable as those for the other male models.

Background: Chandler Maness was born in the Netherlands into an American military family. Accordingly, he then moved around a lot. After graduating from high school in Washington, D.C., Chandler attended College of Charleston in South Carolina with a double major in both drama and history with a minor in classics. Early in 2008, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actor in independent films.

My perception so far is that Chandler Maness is someone that is smart and analytical. He's reasonably optimistic about his future, trusting himself to push forward in the direction he wants to go and to navigate successfully the unplanned opportunities that may present themselves. I think he is someone who will accept what others can do for him, but when necessary will work to create his own situations that give him opportunity to succeed. He knows he is not perfect but realizes that the attributes he has are pretty good. He sees no reason to be pretentious or not honest since being himself will be of more value in the end.

Of course this is just a first impression. As the season goes on I may find I have created a load of crap. Thank goodness for the edit function.

Janice Dickinson And Martin Ritchie

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Janice Dickinson And Paul Vandervort

In season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, one of the new models that have been added to the cast is Paul Vandervort. Before his working with JDMA, a highlight of Paul's professional career has been to be photographed by Bruce Weber for Abercrombie & Fitch.

Paul Vandervort is just shy of 5'10", which is shorter than normal for a model, but as anyone would know who has read anything I have posted here, I certainly appreciate men of all sizes and like to see those under 6' get opportunities as well. I think most people will see Paul as having a pretty face and that makes up for any challenge in vertical length.

On the other hand, I think with a pretty face it's still possible overall to be too smooth, too slick, too artificial looking. Pretty faces are surprisingly a dime a dozen, but the real standouts, the stars, are the people with distinctive looks. Consider some of the other models at the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, like Brian Kehoe, J.P. Calderon, Danny Nunez, and even Payton Brady. There's no confusing them with anyone else. It's their uniqueness that makes their fans see them as attractive with no suitable substitutes. I don't know that Paul Vandervort has that kind of uniqueness.

Put another way, it's like looking at a handsome mannequin. You may enjoy a few moments looking at it but it's not something you would have dinner with or spend time with at a party. Or maybe you would - whatever trips your trigger.

I have written before about men that become overdeveloped physically, and while Paul Vandervort is certainly not bad in that department in general, I think he may crossed the line for a male model. Models have to work to get a certain level of definition but then they have to make sure that they don't bulk up. Paul's A+F photos look just about right for musculature, but I think since then he may gone a little overboard in the gym. I know it's tempting to think that because one level of muscle mass brings some success then even more muscle will add more success. It doesn't work that way for fashion modeling.

Paul Vandervort has spoken about his frequent workouts and his need to do so. I can't help but be reminded me of a friend of mine who was clearly obsessive/compulsive about going to the gym. If he were ever forced to miss a day he became quite distraught and if it were two days he would start to think his body was breaking down, his health disintegrating, and his appeal fading. He realized he had a problem but didn't know what to do to handle it. It makes me wonder sometimes if admiring someone's physique is complementing their commitment to physical fitness or just being an enabler for OCD.

I think working out can be compared to going to the bathroom. It's a good and necessary thing to do and it's healthy to do it often, but if you were to mention a lot to others your trips to the toilet, people would think something was really wrong with you. It's best to treat it as TMI.

It's clear that Paul Vandervort will be a featured model this season with a relatively good amount of air time. It's not clear yet if he has the kind of personality you need to have to be a star on reality TV. It's reported that Paul and Kehoe hang out together on a regular basis so there must be something there, as I can't imagine Kehoe wasting time with someone that wasn't pretty interesting.

Exclusive Interview - Brian Kehoe

Ever since Brian Kehoe captured the camera and the viewers' attention when he first appeared in season two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, he has been an essential star of the series and a reason for people to keep watching to see in what new hijinks the mischievous model will be involved. Kehoe sometimes pushes Janice's buttons, but it just gives her a chance to practice her tough love therapy on him. She appreciates that Kehoe is a top level model who can give the clients exceptional results.

I'm fortunate to be able share with everyone the responses that super fan-friendly Kehoe has graciously provided to some questions I posed to him to help his fans learn a little more about him. He talks about college, career, and cohorts, and what he'd do if HE had the power with Janice.

For those of us far from Nevada, tell us what it's like to be from Reno.

Reno is the most amazing city to grow up in because of the way you know know so many people, yet there are new faces to see everyday! It really is the "Biggest Little City"! I'd like to give a shout to how much I miss the Kalifornia Jean Bar's hospitality and complimentary wine as I shopped, My Favorite Muffin's free wi-fi, and makin' moves at the "Lodo Loft Starbucks" with B. and Naldi. Holler No-Town! Ha-ha!

I'm guessing you had a lot of fun in your fraternity in college. What was the best part of the experience for you and why would you suggest that someone join one?

The Sigma Nu chapter at the University of Nevada absolutely ran, and still does run the campus! The best part for me was the social outlet I was able to have, that non-Greeks didn't! The biggest misconception of joining a fraternity is that you pay for your friends. I tell people this, a fraternity is a business and a business has to run. The dues we paid each month go to different things the house needs to manage aka food, power for the house, and funds for different things. I highly suggest anyone who goes to college to pledge a house. It will bring advantages to your life that would not otherwise receive!

What did you study in college and why did it interest you?

I thought at first I wanted to be an educator in secondary schools, but soon realized I would need a much higher paying job. I began taking business classes which also didn't interest me too much. Thank god for modeling!

What would be your second choice for a career?

If money weren't an issue, I would still love to teach and coach high school. If it were an issue, I've always had an interest in law. I think it would be cool to walk into a courtroom wearing a $3,000 Versace suit, slap my briefcase down on the table and just get right into debating my case. Hah!

Besides you, I also focused on Danny Nunez and J.P. Calderon this season. Tell me what you think about those two.

Danny and JP are complete a**holes and I can't stand either one of them. Just kidding! I caught your attention though, right? I love them both. If our ship was sinking, they are 2 people I would definitely save. JP is an amazing model and taking a great pic is so natural for him, and Danny has an amazing career ahead of him!

You said in a recent interview that of the male models in the agency, you liked Chris Jones. What is something about him that you like?

When Chris and I hang out, we both really let our guard down and act like little kids. We're both just real goofy and we bring it out in each other. Chris also went to college so we have a lot in common. It's rare to meet other models who attended college first, so when I meet one who did, I often gravitate towards them.

What's been your favorite modeling assignment to date?

There wasn't very much airtime on this, but the Dragonfly "dead rockstar" shoot where I played Sid Vicious was FUN!! Portraying a different character is always an awesome part of the job, but to top it off there were 12 of the models from the agency making it an amazing bonding session by the end of the day. I really got to know some of the new models that day.

You have no hesitancy about getting naked in front of people. Why is that?

1) I think when a person is completely comfortable with themselves, nudity is not a big issue and
2) I don't think we models have a choice sometimes when it comes
to Janice (ha-ha).

You got in trouble with Janice several times during season three (the slapping incident, the Miami cocktail party, the Aussie Bum incident). Why do you think you get in trouble like this and did you learn anything from it?

I think me getting into trouble so much has to do with me trying to break the industry into Kehoe, when it is I who needs to break into the industry if that makes any sense. Yes, I learned quite a bit and hope to showcase a more mature and responsible self on Season 4.

If you had the power to hypnotize Janice for an hour so that she would do anything you told her to do, what would you make her do?

"Janice, undress yourself and make me breakfast!" Hahaha! I'm only half kidding, I have some insane sexual attraction towards my agent, but who doesn't? I think I've heard every guy model at one point or another (even the gays) say they would have sex with her. But in all honesty, I would love to have her tell me about the craziest parties, and the most insane people she hung out with back in the day. To see Janice Dickinson in a shoot back in the day would be an honor.

If you could have the superpower of flying, reading minds, or being invisible, which would you choose?

FLYING! No more planning my daily errands around traffic!

Tell me something that has really scared you at any time in your life.

Those creepy little guys who slide passed you on their knees at Knott's Scary Farm. If you're ever in the Los Angeles area during October, you MUST go!

What famous person would you most like to meet?

Michael Jordan

My most popular page since the start of this season of JDMA is "Brian Kehoe and a Dick in a Box". If you were to ever give someone one, could I at least have the packing material?

Better - I'll mail you the boxers I'm wearing right now.

Janice Dickinson Does More Miami

In season three, episode ten of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the episode begins where the previous one ended, at the start of a surprise fashion show for Ed Hardy intimates and mens underwear. The surprise was on the models, not Janice or the hundreds of people who came to see the show at Mansion nightclub. Considering how unhappy Janice was when she was ambushed into being in front of the camera for the Ashley Paige shoot, it should be surprising that she would do the same kind of thing to her models, but fortunately everyone seemed to be okay with it and a job's a job.

Nathan Romano, director of sales for Ed Hardy Lounge, made the announcement to the models. He's one of those extra characters on the show besides the models that are kind of hot themselves. He's pretty animated and me likey him.

Sorin Mihalache, Janice's strange, one man Romanian retinue, said, "You coming at a party and they tell you, are you guys ready for a job? Why not? Hello?" Unfortunately for Sorin it looks like Eastern European gay adult video is going down in popularity so he may have missed the boat on his real career potential.

When the show started J.P. Calderon was the first one out on the runway. He said, "I just threw off my robe and got really into it." (By the way, I had the same experience during a colonoscopy.) Danny Nunez let us see that he has a great walk. He also let us see his little Danny for a fraction of a second. (This is why you need Tivo to watch JDMA and to slow down the scenes with the naughty bits.) Payton Brady went out and really flirted with the audience. He had no problem flaunting his pubic protuberance and his gratifying glutes. He is the young Elvis (minus singing, music, and clothes).

The next day the models went to the Custo Barcelona casting for their in-store look book. Getting ready for it, nearly invisible Billy Marquart actually got a chance to say a few words to the camera. The show needs to give him more exposure. He represents the Midwest and there are no other natural looking male blonds.

The casting session didn't go very well. The Custo Barcelona people were looking for four girls and two guys. When they were looking at the guys, Brian Kehoe took off his pants and showed that he was wearing Aussie Bum. Now no self respecting person should ever wear Aussie Bum, especially since that company had previously disrespected Janice. Janice speculated that Kehoe had done it to get more attention from her, his showbiz mom. I would have taken him over my knee and spanked him until I was satiated, but Janice got some scissors and just cut off the offending material. She let loose her inner mohel and left Kehoe content in his natural state holding his own.

There was some interest in Dominic Figlio, so he was asked to pose on the wall to show if he could give a more European look. He gave them a self-styled "Figlio Special", which appeared to be some form of catatonic expression. He didn't get the job. In the end, J.P. Chris Jones and Payton Brady were selected.

That night the models went to Halo, a gay nightclub. Grasie took the opportunity to ask Kehoe once again when he is going to come of out of the closet. He talked about his feminine side and then danced for awhile with Chris Jones. He asked Chris, "Why don't the boys hit on us yet? Where are the boys at?" (Well, even Connie Francis knew the answer is Fort Lauderdale.) Chris responds by throwing out his rod and reel and catching (surprise) Sorin.


A lot of the episode was about the two day shoot for Custo Barcelona, which was uneventful. The important stuff came right at the end when Janice and her lawyer let Peter Hamm know about Janice's intent to dissolve the partnership. Peter suggested that the partnership agreement may not have been clear on how the assets should be be divided, so there may be fight between to make a settlement. Sounds like a good starting point for a season four.

Janice Dickinson Does Miami

In season three, episode nine of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Janice reveals the first step of her new master plan. She has decided to experiment with bicoastalism. To test the Atlantic waters she intends to take some of her models to Miami for a week to assay the market and if there is a strong enough interest then she might consider opening a branch office there. She can only take her top models, so of course her final selection included Brian Kehoe, J.P. Calderon, Danny Nunez, and Payton Brady. Strangely, when she listed for the camera the models that she had selected, she had a special adjective to describe Kehoe, but it was bleeped out.

Many of the models in the agency were excited about the possibility of going to Miami, which I find funny because I lived in South Florida for many years and I think there would be plenty of people there excited about traveling to California. The grass is always greener on the other side of the country. Janice listed off the attributes that she liked about Miami, such as the ocean. I've never been to California, but isn't that big blue thing to the west of it an ocean also?

Another important component of Janice's plan to rule the world is to make her business partner/archenemy Peter Hamm permanently disappear. As an opening stroke, she meets with Jason Otto of Otto Models to discuss collaboration and he is receptive to her suggestions. She wants to use Jason's modeling business acumen to handle her needs that Peter has been unable to satisfy. Jason agrees to something and they seal it with an embrace. I looked at Otto's web site and frankly his guys are nowhere near as good as Janice's so he might get something out of this if can borrow her boys.

Hurricane Janice arrives in Miami and breezes through various media outlets to let the city know that she had arrived. Meanwhile, Peter handles a pre-screening with the most important potential client of the trip, Custo Barcelona. There was a situation normal (all f'd up) with Peter not letting all of the models even know the screening was going on. Traci Moslenko told her roommate CC Fontana about it after it had started, but CC figured out that something wasn't right and began being suspicious of Traci. Like a cigarette ash in a trashcan, you know that there is a good chance this is going to flame up later.

There is an interjection of a non-sequitur scene where Janice talks about her pet, Sorin Mihalache. She has been using him as guard dog for show only, but she decides to have him somewhat trained by a security guard whisperer. Sorin and the teacher practice security by tossing a randomly selected hysterical queen out of the room, presumably for additional comedic relief on top of the comedy that is the show itself.

Back to business, the models go to a cocktail mixer to meet agents and clients. Janice gives a pep talk to them and preaches once again the principles of the Women's Christian Temperance Union. Once the party starts, Janice is surprised to notice that her models are not socializing outside their own group. She doesn't realize that the reason that strangers don't speak to another on a subway or an elevator is because there is no wet bar in them. Alcohol is the lubricant for the tongue and a few of the smarter models try to bend the rules a little to really get the party started. Kehoe gets a glass of wine with a little more in it than what could be sucked out of the cork. Hawkeye Dickinson quickly sees the misstep and has Kehoe escorted from the party. She later walks out and berates him and his buddy Chris Jones some more. Kehoe responds by skipping step one and going directly to step two: recognizing Janice as a Higher Power.

Afterwards the models party the night away in one of their hotel rooms, far away from Janice's suite. The ember that started between Traci and CC gets hot when CC confronts Traci about lies that Traci told about her to casting person Ethan. The show's video crew tapes the confrontation, which quickly peters out, but the producers missed a great opportunity by not pulling the two girls aside and signing them to finish their fight in a cage mud wrestling match. Such a show could have easily been the highest rated show ever on the Oxygen channel.

The episode ends with the Janice taking her models to get the de rigueur South Florida early-bird dinner, and then on to salsa dancing lessons. Finally, on the dance floor, we get to see Danny Nunez show some movement and not just going from one stiff pose to another. Janice humorously did her impression of Elaine Benes' dance routine. The night was later capped off by the announcement of a surprise underwear runway show at the Mansion nighclub. It's good to know that the next and final episode of the season is guaranteed to show more flesh and bare hineys. Hopefully it will have enough to keep us going until season four.

The Danny Nunez Interview

One of the best parts of season three of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency has been the addition of Danny Nunez to Janice's impressive stable of virile and well-built male models. To capitalize on Danny's charm and good looks, the show wisely made him the center of attention for several of the most memorable scenes of the season, including the art class, the Andrew Christian shoot, and the Rufskin Denim adventure. The inclusion of him speaking to the camera presented an opportunity for him to show a quiet and refreshing modesty that belied the natural and exciting sensuality that he brought to every assignment.

Having covered here the more interesting aspects of JDMA 3 and Danny's part in it in particular, I am happy to have the chance to share Danny's responses to some questions I recently posed to him.

How does it feel to be one of the top stars of season three of JDMA? Were you surprised that you would end up being so prominent?

Surprised!?!? Heck yea, I first came onto the JDMA show not knowing what I was kinda getting myself into.

Before you started modeling, what was it about it that made you think you would like doing it?

Thinking to myself that I didn't want to end up working hard on my knees, and also thinking that if I were not to model now I would have to start school and I wasn't ready for college yet. I wanted to explore a few things before I would just have to concentrate on the text books.

You've stated that your first dream was to play football, but due to an injury you turned to modeling. Beside football and modeling, what would be your third choice?

My third choice is to become a stripper! Ha! Just kidding. It would be to go to school and study a major. I would have to become successful, somehow.


Based on your experience, what do you find to be the best and the worst part about being a model?

The best part of my modeling experience is getting to see new faces and to travel the world. The worst part of being a model is that it only lasts so long, but I'll still keep hustling.

You seem to be very willing to do whatever you are asked to do, including getting naked. You don't seem like someone who would be as comfortable being naked in public as say, Kehoe. How do you psych yourself to do it?

I don't get why being naked is such a bad thing to society. I'm pretty sure that everyone was born naked with no clothes. Just show off what your mama gave ya!!

One of your well-known scenes this season was the Rufskin shoot. Were you at all surprised at how great the photos turned out with you and some of the other male models? Although the theme was not something that you were familiar with, were you able to figure out how to relate to it to get the right expressions?

The Rufskin photo shoot was probably one the best experiences I could ever have, even though I wasn't comfortable in the beginning. I still had a money sign on my mind. Modeling is basically acting but in a photo, kinda gotta ask yourself who's Rufskin marketing this to, and what do I want to make out of it. Once someone can find that, it's unstoppable.


You were very attentive to anything Janice had to tell you. What did you think about her before joining the agency and has your opinion changed any since?

No, I never really didn't care. Gotta be down for anything.

Besides you, I also focused on J.P. Calderon and Brian Kehoe this season. Can you tell me what you think about those two?

Kehoe and J.P are two really cool people. When I was new to the agency, they made me feel very comfortable... very nice, introduced themselves, never thought anything bad of them.

It is said that still waters run deep. Tell me something important about yourself that hasn't been shown on the air that would help people know better what kind of person you are.

I look insane, but I'm really deadly. I have a mentality: anything you can do, I can do better.


What famous person would you most like to meet?

Lil Wayne

What's your favorite food?

My favorite food is CUBAN FOOD, the best. If you haven't tried it, you're missing out!

What's your favorite pick-up line (not necessarily one that you have used)?

Did you call for UPS package or something, because I can't help but watch you staring at my package. I can help you place it in your garage. I also handle with care.

How would you describe your best friends, in general? How would they describe you?

Don't care about anything. Gotta be down for everything. To my friends, it's hit it, quit it, don't admit it. Ahhhah!

Janice Dickinson Does Vegas

In season three, episode eight of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Janice and some of her models travel to Las Vegas to do a runway show for Ed Hardy. Christian Audigier, the head designer for Ed Hardy, had selected some of Janice's major models, including J.P. Calderon, Payton Brady and Dominic Figlio. While the combination of Janice, good-looking models, a Frenchman client, and Vegas could have created some wild action, for the most part everyone was well-behaved.

Briank Kehoe was strangely not picked for the trip, so he took the opportunity during that time to finally work up the nerve to ask Traci Moslenko out for dinner so that they could get to know each other better. He's so polite and romantic and she looks like the girl next door, so visually and on paper they seemed like a perfect couple. They go for a picnic up in the hills where they feed each other strawberries as the sun sets. Unfortunately, although there's a time for everything, Traci didn't realize that being on a date with one guy is not the time to talk about a previous date with another guy. She confessed that she had been out with Janice's son, Nathan. Kehoe largely kept his emotions in check although it was apparent he was crushed on the inside after hearing the news. He also realized his predicament of trying to compete for a girl with the boss's son. The date ends with but a G-rated kiss.


Speaking of the son, Nathan now lives on his own and so he and Janice went shopping for furniture for him at IKEA. Can you pick out the two things expressed in that statement that are just seriously wrong?

The models fly to Vegas for the show and after arriving at the Venetian, they had their first afternoon free to lie by the pool. While some of the female models deliberately were aloof, acting like they had railroad ties stuck up their ass, Payton Brady was off by himself being very young and not acquainted well with any of the other models. J.P. noticed this, and as the kind-hearted and generous person that he is, went out of his way to converse with Payton and make sure he felt included. J.P gave him advice about pursuing one's dreams, but unfortunately didn't advise him against wearing t-shirts like the "Jesus, sweet saviour, king of kings" orange shirt, styled to look the Reese's peanut butter cup logo.


Elsewhere at the pool, Janice did her ongoing Carrie Nation impression by pouring Rodrigo's lemonade and vodka into the water. Extensive plastic surgery good, alcohol bad.

In the hotel, J.P. reflects on the awkwardness of being in the same room as Rodrigo, since from J.P.'s perspective he was happy with the one date that they had, didn't want to go out again, and really didn't want to explain why he felt that way. Perhaps one way that Rodrigo could have made J.P. feel less awkward would have been to tell J.P. how it felt to bufu Eddie Stone in the video Stone Fox. There's nothing like a story of participation in an adult video to break the ice.

The models finally do the show and it is a success. The theme was "Mad Max". Payton looked good with that mop top on his head kept under hats. J.P. had an improved look with his hair pushed up and not the usual slick down. Dominic Figlio came out on the runway shaking his junk and carrying a rifle, proving that he speaks softly and carries a big gun.


Most embarrassing moment: Joe Monbleau grabbing his crotch in front of the client, in order to show, I don't know what. Joe was the one that needed the prostheses for the Andrew Christian shoot so it doesn't make sense to call attention to that area.