Janice Dickinson And The B Word

In season four, episode four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the B words, plural, and surprisingly none of them apply to Janice.

At the beginning of the episode J.P. Calderon lectured Brian Kehoe about his bad behavior after Kehoe had been kicked out of the model house by Janice. Referring to the way he spoke to Kehoe, J.P. said "I just lost it," although if the subject hadn't been booze and blow you might compare J.P.'s demeanor to Mr. Rodgers teaching a child about sharing or respecting other people's feelings.

J.P. as teacher, father confessor, and saint-in-residence can be a nice character, as it is good to have positive gay figures, but having both him and puppy dog sweet Martin Ritchie as the models that are gay on the show doesn't leave room for having a bed-hopping man-whore model who ends up getting with every guy in the agency. That would be a nice character to watch on the show also. At least the beatified J.P left the door open a crack by telling Kehoe he wanted to be his "[f'ing] friend".

Question: does anyone else think that Janice's watching her spy tv monitors with her hair stylist Duke is just a little too much like the Witch of the East and her chief flying monkey watching Dorothy and her friends through the crystal ball? ("Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleeep.") Unsettling.

At some point Janice stumbled out of her room dressed like a ballerina, lauded her previous experience with ballet, and then told her assembled and quickly horrified male models to put on tights. The guys were unhappy to put on the see-through garment plus dance belt, except of course for the ever agreeable Danny Nunez, who will do whatever the job requires. He mentioned that he is used to being naked a lot on the show. He knows he can't help being an anatomically correct Cuban Ken doll whose pants everyone wants to unsnap as soon as they take him out of the package.

Comment: The recently introduced blurring of the butt shots is treating the audience as if they were children. JDMA is an adult show for adults that want to see some glimpses of uncovered dude tang. The more gratuitious the better. We should be allowed to see an unexpurgated version somewhere, if not the tv then on the web.

After the boys were suitably attired. Janice showed them to Jonette Swider, a ballet teacher, who would be giving them instruction on the fine points of ballet, which is to say how to show off your manhood while simultaneously losing it. She had them stretching and squatting and leaping with their legs split and pointing their toes in strange positions. The scene was brief but long enough to notice that Payton Brady's backfield in motion is quite a sight and to notice with Paul Vandervort that tights come in child size.

At the end of the exercise Jonette selected J.P. as the best participant and Payton as the worst. Given their particular personalities and views of ballet, both were happy with their ranking.

Janice told Danny, Payton, and J.P. to move into the house immediately to help Danny and Payton to book jobs and for J.P. to act as a role model for the younger associates. They were all happy to get the order, but Danny and Payton quickly found out this silver lining had a dark cloud with it, namely having to be around more with nasty, ugly Gabe (Janice's make-up "artist").

To have a little fun, former football players Danny and Payton tossed a few rolls of toilet paper back and forth in lieu of a real ball. Bitch queen Gabe acted as if this was any of his business and while spread out on a sofa with his wanky teeth and flabby belly exposed started criticizing the waste of the rolls and connected it to an implication that Danny's parents were unfit. Now I don't know Gabe's background, but he has always appeared to me like the worst kind of repulsive, smelly trailer trash, so maybe his family couldn't always afford toilet paper and seeing rolls wasted brought back an unpleasant memory to him. Nevertheless, he should keep his mouth shut around his superiors and not make clear what a loathsome creature he is.

Danny and Payton tried to be polite about it, but Gabe's hate filled invectives were bad enough that Payton had to eventually reply in kind . Janice overhead only Payton's comment and asked him to leave, not realizing that Gabe had been the one responsible for the turmoil. Once Janice found out that Gabe had called Payton a redneck, she gave Gabe a good slapdown, which caused Gabe to storm out of the house. Let's just hope he moves back to skankville and stays there permanently.

Buddies Danny and Payton moved their stuff in and went looking for sleeping quarters. Payton had said he loved the thought of being in a big house in a big bed. (Cue the Southern, laid back version of "Wouldn't it Be Loverly?") Chandler thought there was a pair of bunks in his room where Janice asked who was the top and who was the bottom, even though it is clear that they are both tops (as well as Janice who said "me too.") It was not meant to be though as they found the bunks were spoken for so they turned an alcove in the living room into their private VIP clothing-optional gentlemen's club. I want on that guest list.

Janice Dickinson And Faux Drama

In season four, episode two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the instigation of faux drama with forced friction between new models and returning models. It's a predictable ploy used on the series and it's probably played out by now. Long-time viewers know that by the end of the season, or at least by the start of the next one, everybody will be model buddies and one big happy PTSD family, so it's not worth investing interest in these little tiffs.

The gimmick of this season is the use of group living for the cast in a "model house", ala Big Brother, Real World, etc. Janice herself plays housemother, which makes the house sort of a cross between the Playboy mansion and a minimum security psych ward. Ostensibly, the purpose of the house was to give Janice Dickinson the opportunity to spend more time with her models, shaping them and keeping them focused. In reality, the concept was used to give the writers inherently more potential story lines to put together. The models, realizing that the house was where the stories and camera time were going to be based, all really wanted to stay within its limited confines. As terrible as it would be to have Janice on their back 24/7, they definitely wanted to be part of Madam Janice's little fame-whore house.

At the end of the first episode, the returning models were incensed to learn that only new models had been picked to live in the house. Only J.P. Calderon, the impossibly benevolent, good-hearted conscience of the agency, said he he was happy for the new models getting to live there. He indicated that he was blissfully ignorant of the anger of the returning models. Question: why are the gay characters on basic cable and network tv usually saints? When can we have gay super s|uts whoring with every drunken straight football player turned model?

It was understandable that the new models would need the most attention, so although I can understand that living in the house could be considered a bonus, it really was intended to be like remedial summer school and as such, anybody not forced to live in the house should have felt good that Janice considered them not needing the extra attention.

Janice pointed out that those not living in the house are still in her agency. She let them how much she still cared for them by saying, "I love each and every one of you. Shut the f*** up and trust me." She's so sweet. Lord love her.

The puke in the group that doesn't deserve any loving is Christian Prelle, who mocked Martin Ritchie's speaking ability. This was a new low for Prelle, lower than the repulsive behavior he showed last season before the PETA rally. Thankfully, Prelle got deservedly slapped by Janice.

To get all the models together, Janice threw a party. Everyone seemed to have a good time despite seeing Sorin Mihalache's mustache and sad little hat. At the party Janice announced that she had picked Maurice Townsell to move into the house. She explained that she hoped his manliness would rub off on the "effeminate" models. She went on to say that she meant it literally, describing some sort of weird, male model marking of territory where "he's going to rub his manly, manly, manly, all over the place." Not in, just over, sadly.

Strangely, Janice then wanted all of the models to cross-dress to show that they could portray different characters. This seem to defeat her purpose for bringing in Maurice as his female persona was unnervingly on target, looking like a $20 street prostitute. Martin, it should be noted, looked terribly sweet as a coquettish, naughty Texas housewife.

Getting down to work, the first casting was for Nicolita Swimwear. The company needed one of the girl models to be the face of Nicolita for the season and the finalists for the part who were selected to do a test shoot were Traci Moslenko, Polina Tretiakova, and CC Fontana. Chandler Maness was also selected, to be the man prop.

The shoot employed a very classy, classic look that I love, like Italy in the fifties. Traci Moslenko's face and hair looked real good, but the featured photo made her look like she had a beer gut. Polina Tretiakova's style just didn't fit the genre. CC clearly had the best photo of the women. Very sexy. Chandler Maness had the best look overall, looking fantastic in a Ivy League look. His one problem was his arm tattoo. It needs to go or have some body makeup on it.

CC had shown up late to the shoot because of her period. When Janice found out about it, she was very angry. Hearing it was because of menstruation, Janice asked CC, "Do you not know every 28 days that you have a blood bath downstairs?" Hearing this word picture of CC and her monthly flash flood disaster was a bit much, but probably better than seeing Janice hurl tampons at CC, shouting, "Plug it up! Plug it up!"

During the shoot, Janice met Anna Babbitt, Traci's manager for acting. Anna explained that she was representing Traci for TV and film. Janice asked, "What kind of film, porn?" Anna replied, "Well, she's going to be in features... soon." (As every other woman in LA is eventually promised.) Regardless, it's an great inspiration for having fun at work. I've started to bring a friend of mine to every business meeting, explaining that he's my agent for TV and feature films. It's a break from my usual intermittent but frantic waving away invisible bugs.

The second casting of the episode was for Kentucky Denim Jeans. Liat Tala, the owner, was looking for some male models (who isn't?) with a few females for background. The men had to try on jeans, which gave us a good number of crotch shots. Sweet! Christian Prelle, Martin Ritchie, Brian Kehoe, Dominic Figlio and Chandler Maness were selected. It will be hot to watch the photo shoot in the next episode.

Janice Dickinson In The Big Mother House

In season four, episode one of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the usual addition of new models and this season, for the first time, the usage of a common abode for Janice and her models. At the start of a new season Janice needs to replenish her stock and that has been a customary part of the show. The use of a single living environment is a significant change to the dynamics of the show (although it is a common element in reality TV) and it will be interesting to see how it affects the drama.

To start things off, Janice Dickinson gave an introduction for the season, bringing her viewers up to date on her partnership dissolution with Peter Hamm. She explained that the separation required a division of the assets and that she was able to keep most of her favorite models. Her list of them by name was J.P. Calderon, Crystal Truehart, Brian Kehoe, Traci Moslenko, Dominic Figlio, Christian Prelle, Payton Brady, Danny Nunez, CC Fontana, and "several others". I don't know how the several other models felt by this pronouncement (especially Michael Anderson who was shown as she spoke the words), but if I were listed in "others", I'm not sure I would consider myself actually to be one of her "favorites".

What can we learn from her enumerated list? One thing is that 7 of the 9 are men, which buttresses my previous statement that predominantly the male models should be shown on the television show, with maybe a few video clips of the women tagged on to the show's web site. However, if Janice were to expand her yet-to-be shown plus-size division by adding a drag queen subdivision, that could be worth watching on TV also. It would be a hoot just to see them all come to every casting dressed and made up to look like Janice.

Janice also asked the question, "And what would the agency be without the ever-loving Sorin [Mihalache] on security duty?" Hmmm, let me think about that. More dignified, more respectable, less bizarre? Is one of those the right answer?

The selection of the new models was done at a VIP (pre-selected) casting call at Siren Studios in LA. Janice Dickinson bounced into the room exuberantly happy to see the prospects. She modestly tried to cut the thunderous applause that the applicants gave at the sight of the legendary world's first supermodel. The camera didn't show if anyone swooned at the experience but I would imagine at least a few people would have had to when received into her presence. Needless to say, Janice looked stunning with her perfect figure and timeless beauty. Her taut boobies stayed perfectly in place.

Janice stated, "All I need is one thing: that capital I-T, that solid it thing that no one else can see but me." Here I have to disagree with Janice. When I'm out hunting down that solid it thing on a Saturday night, I want it to be visible from across the street, preferably hidden by nothing more than a pair of lycra bike shorts.

Sentimentally, my favorite Janice line was "Boys, boys, boys, I need you to do one thing: take your shirts off!" I will leave for another time the story of when I used that same line on a pair of Mormon missionaries.

Here are the models she selected:

• Chandler Maness was concerned about how well he would do considering the competition in the room. He had nothing to worry about although he almost escaped Janice's eye. He shows a lot of personality for the camera in his expression.
• Martin Ritchie is a model who is deaf and looks so cute and sweet. Janice gave him a big hug, which I think a lot of viewers are going to want to do also. His interpreter Jerry Ferris is modelicious himself.
• Paul Vandervort is a diminutive model who has the face and teeth to do okay, but the chest in the side view is looking like a B cup and I just don't find that flattering on a man. When building definition in the pectorals you have to know when to stop, although I realize the temptation to keep going past the limit of where it looks good. It's especially not good on a smaller frame. It makes the proportions out of whack.
• Gavyn Michaels to me looks reminiscent of Paul Rudd.

At some point Janice Dickinson got it in her head that to enhance her oversight of her models she needed to open a "model house" where her best models would live with her and she would keep a close eye on how they prepared themselves to be top-notch model material.

She arranged to rent a suitably sized house and was excited with most of it until she saw her master bedroom. She decided it had to be remodeled before it could be considered habitable. Her choice of decorator was Christopher Ciccone. I have to say this for the sake of completeness: "Madonna's brother", but really anyone who is watching JDMA should already know that. Janice told him that she basically had no money to pay him, so then it's not clear if the lack of money or Chris' (or at least his assistants') lack of taste is what led to the result: a cherry red, Dutch whore house design. I hope Janice was just being polite when she compared the bedroom to the virgin white remainder of the house: "This is more me than the rest of the house." Okay.

In a closet enclosure in her bedroom, it was revealed that it contained a big display monitor connected to many security cameras throughout the house. It sounded too much like a mixture of JDMA with Big Brother and I hope this is not jumping the shark.

To fill the house Janice first "summoned" what she called her "pre-existing" models, as in "pre-existing disease". That didn't sound so good for what might lie ahead. The returning models brought their suitcases and given the circumstances thought they would be living there for the duration of the season's taping. Only the highly astute Kehoe realized that there were too few beds in the house for all of the returning models to use, much like Rose noticed about the number of lifeboats in Titanic. Again, not boding well.

Janice personally brought her bevy of newbies to the house and displayed them to the returning models. She then unveiled the surprise that only fifteen out of the combined total of new and returning models would actually be chosen to live in the house. The returning models felt confident about being selected and so had no problem partying near if not exactly with the new models at the house until the final selection was made. J.P. Calderon arrived late and after being loved by all the returning models he saw the separation between new and old and went out of his way to introduce himself to the new ones. Kehoe was Keyhole to the new models, playing his specified role in this production.

The client in this episode was Nicolita Sainz, a Cuban swimwear designer, who needed one female to be the new face for the company and one male model to be her admirer. You would think Danny Nunez, of Cuban descent, would be a shoo-in, but he still appears too shy and uncertain of himself when auditioning. Instead the male position went to Chandler Maness, who was noted for his expressive eyes.

In the end, Janice Dickinson ended up only choosing nine people to live in the house and they were all new models. Everybody else she threw out. The returning models were understandably angry about the decision, but if they know anything about Janice they should know that her methodology includes making models angry at their competitors so they will try harder to beat them. She does it like prepping pit bulls before a dog fight, but for these doe-eyed models it's really like rubbing a puppy's nose in their own dookie - it has no idea what's going on.

Exclusive Interview - Brian Kehoe

Ever since Brian Kehoe captured the camera and the viewers' attention when he first appeared in season two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, he has been an essential star of the series and a reason for people to keep watching to see in what new hijinks the mischievous model will be involved. Kehoe sometimes pushes Janice's buttons, but it just gives her a chance to practice her tough love therapy on him. She appreciates that Kehoe is a top level model who can give the clients exceptional results.

I'm fortunate to be able share with everyone the responses that super fan-friendly Kehoe has graciously provided to some questions I posed to him to help his fans learn a little more about him. He talks about college, career, and cohorts, and what he'd do if HE had the power with Janice.

For those of us far from Nevada, tell us what it's like to be from Reno.

Reno is the most amazing city to grow up in because of the way you know know so many people, yet there are new faces to see everyday! It really is the "Biggest Little City"! I'd like to give a shout to how much I miss the Kalifornia Jean Bar's hospitality and complimentary wine as I shopped, My Favorite Muffin's free wi-fi, and makin' moves at the "Lodo Loft Starbucks" with B. and Naldi. Holler No-Town! Ha-ha!

I'm guessing you had a lot of fun in your fraternity in college. What was the best part of the experience for you and why would you suggest that someone join one?

The Sigma Nu chapter at the University of Nevada absolutely ran, and still does run the campus! The best part for me was the social outlet I was able to have, that non-Greeks didn't! The biggest misconception of joining a fraternity is that you pay for your friends. I tell people this, a fraternity is a business and a business has to run. The dues we paid each month go to different things the house needs to manage aka food, power for the house, and funds for different things. I highly suggest anyone who goes to college to pledge a house. It will bring advantages to your life that would not otherwise receive!

What did you study in college and why did it interest you?

I thought at first I wanted to be an educator in secondary schools, but soon realized I would need a much higher paying job. I began taking business classes which also didn't interest me too much. Thank god for modeling!

What would be your second choice for a career?

If money weren't an issue, I would still love to teach and coach high school. If it were an issue, I've always had an interest in law. I think it would be cool to walk into a courtroom wearing a $3,000 Versace suit, slap my briefcase down on the table and just get right into debating my case. Hah!

Besides you, I also focused on Danny Nunez and J.P. Calderon this season. Tell me what you think about those two.

Danny and JP are complete a**holes and I can't stand either one of them. Just kidding! I caught your attention though, right? I love them both. If our ship was sinking, they are 2 people I would definitely save. JP is an amazing model and taking a great pic is so natural for him, and Danny has an amazing career ahead of him!

You said in a recent interview that of the male models in the agency, you liked Chris Jones. What is something about him that you like?

When Chris and I hang out, we both really let our guard down and act like little kids. We're both just real goofy and we bring it out in each other. Chris also went to college so we have a lot in common. It's rare to meet other models who attended college first, so when I meet one who did, I often gravitate towards them.

What's been your favorite modeling assignment to date?

There wasn't very much airtime on this, but the Dragonfly "dead rockstar" shoot where I played Sid Vicious was FUN!! Portraying a different character is always an awesome part of the job, but to top it off there were 12 of the models from the agency making it an amazing bonding session by the end of the day. I really got to know some of the new models that day.

You have no hesitancy about getting naked in front of people. Why is that?

1) I think when a person is completely comfortable with themselves, nudity is not a big issue and
2) I don't think we models have a choice sometimes when it comes
to Janice (ha-ha).

You got in trouble with Janice several times during season three (the slapping incident, the Miami cocktail party, the Aussie Bum incident). Why do you think you get in trouble like this and did you learn anything from it?

I think me getting into trouble so much has to do with me trying to break the industry into Kehoe, when it is I who needs to break into the industry if that makes any sense. Yes, I learned quite a bit and hope to showcase a more mature and responsible self on Season 4.

If you had the power to hypnotize Janice for an hour so that she would do anything you told her to do, what would you make her do?

"Janice, undress yourself and make me breakfast!" Hahaha! I'm only half kidding, I have some insane sexual attraction towards my agent, but who doesn't? I think I've heard every guy model at one point or another (even the gays) say they would have sex with her. But in all honesty, I would love to have her tell me about the craziest parties, and the most insane people she hung out with back in the day. To see Janice Dickinson in a shoot back in the day would be an honor.

If you could have the superpower of flying, reading minds, or being invisible, which would you choose?

FLYING! No more planning my daily errands around traffic!

Tell me something that has really scared you at any time in your life.

Those creepy little guys who slide passed you on their knees at Knott's Scary Farm. If you're ever in the Los Angeles area during October, you MUST go!

What famous person would you most like to meet?

Michael Jordan

My most popular page since the start of this season of JDMA is "Brian Kehoe and a Dick in a Box". If you were to ever give someone one, could I at least have the packing material?

Better - I'll mail you the boxers I'm wearing right now.

Janice Dickinson Does More Miami

In season three, episode ten of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the episode begins where the previous one ended, at the start of a surprise fashion show for Ed Hardy intimates and mens underwear. The surprise was on the models, not Janice or the hundreds of people who came to see the show at Mansion nightclub. Considering how unhappy Janice was when she was ambushed into being in front of the camera for the Ashley Paige shoot, it should be surprising that she would do the same kind of thing to her models, but fortunately everyone seemed to be okay with it and a job's a job.

Nathan Romano, director of sales for Ed Hardy Lounge, made the announcement to the models. He's one of those extra characters on the show besides the models that are kind of hot themselves. He's pretty animated and me likey him.

Sorin Mihalache, Janice's strange, one man Romanian retinue, said, "You coming at a party and they tell you, are you guys ready for a job? Why not? Hello?" Unfortunately for Sorin it looks like Eastern European gay adult video is going down in popularity so he may have missed the boat on his real career potential.

When the show started J.P. Calderon was the first one out on the runway. He said, "I just threw off my robe and got really into it." (By the way, I had the same experience during a colonoscopy.) Danny Nunez let us see that he has a great walk. He also let us see his little Danny for a fraction of a second. (This is why you need Tivo to watch JDMA and to slow down the scenes with the naughty bits.) Payton Brady went out and really flirted with the audience. He had no problem flaunting his pubic protuberance and his gratifying glutes. He is the young Elvis (minus singing, music, and clothes).

The next day the models went to the Custo Barcelona casting for their in-store look book. Getting ready for it, nearly invisible Billy Marquart actually got a chance to say a few words to the camera. The show needs to give him more exposure. He represents the Midwest and there are no other natural looking male blonds.

The casting session didn't go very well. The Custo Barcelona people were looking for four girls and two guys. When they were looking at the guys, Brian Kehoe took off his pants and showed that he was wearing Aussie Bum. Now no self respecting person should ever wear Aussie Bum, especially since that company had previously disrespected Janice. Janice speculated that Kehoe had done it to get more attention from her, his showbiz mom. I would have taken him over my knee and spanked him until I was satiated, but Janice got some scissors and just cut off the offending material. She let loose her inner mohel and left Kehoe content in his natural state holding his own.

There was some interest in Dominic Figlio, so he was asked to pose on the wall to show if he could give a more European look. He gave them a self-styled "Figlio Special", which appeared to be some form of catatonic expression. He didn't get the job. In the end, J.P. Chris Jones and Payton Brady were selected.

That night the models went to Halo, a gay nightclub. Grasie took the opportunity to ask Kehoe once again when he is going to come of out of the closet. He talked about his feminine side and then danced for awhile with Chris Jones. He asked Chris, "Why don't the boys hit on us yet? Where are the boys at?" (Well, even Connie Francis knew the answer is Fort Lauderdale.) Chris responds by throwing out his rod and reel and catching (surprise) Sorin.


A lot of the episode was about the two day shoot for Custo Barcelona, which was uneventful. The important stuff came right at the end when Janice and her lawyer let Peter Hamm know about Janice's intent to dissolve the partnership. Peter suggested that the partnership agreement may not have been clear on how the assets should be be divided, so there may be fight between to make a settlement. Sounds like a good starting point for a season four.

Janice Dickinson Does Miami

In season three, episode nine of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Janice reveals the first step of her new master plan. She has decided to experiment with bicoastalism. To test the Atlantic waters she intends to take some of her models to Miami for a week to assay the market and if there is a strong enough interest then she might consider opening a branch office there. She can only take her top models, so of course her final selection included Brian Kehoe, J.P. Calderon, Danny Nunez, and Payton Brady. Strangely, when she listed for the camera the models that she had selected, she had a special adjective to describe Kehoe, but it was bleeped out.

Many of the models in the agency were excited about the possibility of going to Miami, which I find funny because I lived in South Florida for many years and I think there would be plenty of people there excited about traveling to California. The grass is always greener on the other side of the country. Janice listed off the attributes that she liked about Miami, such as the ocean. I've never been to California, but isn't that big blue thing to the west of it an ocean also?

Another important component of Janice's plan to rule the world is to make her business partner/archenemy Peter Hamm permanently disappear. As an opening stroke, she meets with Jason Otto of Otto Models to discuss collaboration and he is receptive to her suggestions. She wants to use Jason's modeling business acumen to handle her needs that Peter has been unable to satisfy. Jason agrees to something and they seal it with an embrace. I looked at Otto's web site and frankly his guys are nowhere near as good as Janice's so he might get something out of this if can borrow her boys.

Hurricane Janice arrives in Miami and breezes through various media outlets to let the city know that she had arrived. Meanwhile, Peter handles a pre-screening with the most important potential client of the trip, Custo Barcelona. There was a situation normal (all f'd up) with Peter not letting all of the models even know the screening was going on. Traci Moslenko told her roommate CC Fontana about it after it had started, but CC figured out that something wasn't right and began being suspicious of Traci. Like a cigarette ash in a trashcan, you know that there is a good chance this is going to flame up later.

There is an interjection of a non-sequitur scene where Janice talks about her pet, Sorin Mihalache. She has been using him as guard dog for show only, but she decides to have him somewhat trained by a security guard whisperer. Sorin and the teacher practice security by tossing a randomly selected hysterical queen out of the room, presumably for additional comedic relief on top of the comedy that is the show itself.

Back to business, the models go to a cocktail mixer to meet agents and clients. Janice gives a pep talk to them and preaches once again the principles of the Women's Christian Temperance Union. Once the party starts, Janice is surprised to notice that her models are not socializing outside their own group. She doesn't realize that the reason that strangers don't speak to another on a subway or an elevator is because there is no wet bar in them. Alcohol is the lubricant for the tongue and a few of the smarter models try to bend the rules a little to really get the party started. Kehoe gets a glass of wine with a little more in it than what could be sucked out of the cork. Hawkeye Dickinson quickly sees the misstep and has Kehoe escorted from the party. She later walks out and berates him and his buddy Chris Jones some more. Kehoe responds by skipping step one and going directly to step two: recognizing Janice as a Higher Power.

Afterwards the models party the night away in one of their hotel rooms, far away from Janice's suite. The ember that started between Traci and CC gets hot when CC confronts Traci about lies that Traci told about her to casting person Ethan. The show's video crew tapes the confrontation, which quickly peters out, but the producers missed a great opportunity by not pulling the two girls aside and signing them to finish their fight in a cage mud wrestling match. Such a show could have easily been the highest rated show ever on the Oxygen channel.

The episode ends with the Janice taking her models to get the de rigueur South Florida early-bird dinner, and then on to salsa dancing lessons. Finally, on the dance floor, we get to see Danny Nunez show some movement and not just going from one stiff pose to another. Janice humorously did her impression of Elaine Benes' dance routine. The night was later capped off by the announcement of a surprise underwear runway show at the Mansion nighclub. It's good to know that the next and final episode of the season is guaranteed to show more flesh and bare hineys. Hopefully it will have enough to keep us going until season four.

Janice Dickinson Does Vegas

In season three, episode eight of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Janice and some of her models travel to Las Vegas to do a runway show for Ed Hardy. Christian Audigier, the head designer for Ed Hardy, had selected some of Janice's major models, including J.P. Calderon, Payton Brady and Dominic Figlio. While the combination of Janice, good-looking models, a Frenchman client, and Vegas could have created some wild action, for the most part everyone was well-behaved.

Briank Kehoe was strangely not picked for the trip, so he took the opportunity during that time to finally work up the nerve to ask Traci Moslenko out for dinner so that they could get to know each other better. He's so polite and romantic and she looks like the girl next door, so visually and on paper they seemed like a perfect couple. They go for a picnic up in the hills where they feed each other strawberries as the sun sets. Unfortunately, although there's a time for everything, Traci didn't realize that being on a date with one guy is not the time to talk about a previous date with another guy. She confessed that she had been out with Janice's son, Nathan. Kehoe largely kept his emotions in check although it was apparent he was crushed on the inside after hearing the news. He also realized his predicament of trying to compete for a girl with the boss's son. The date ends with but a G-rated kiss.


Speaking of the son, Nathan now lives on his own and so he and Janice went shopping for furniture for him at IKEA. Can you pick out the two things expressed in that statement that are just seriously wrong?

The models fly to Vegas for the show and after arriving at the Venetian, they had their first afternoon free to lie by the pool. While some of the female models deliberately were aloof, acting like they had railroad ties stuck up their ass, Payton Brady was off by himself being very young and not acquainted well with any of the other models. J.P. noticed this, and as the kind-hearted and generous person that he is, went out of his way to converse with Payton and make sure he felt included. J.P gave him advice about pursuing one's dreams, but unfortunately didn't advise him against wearing t-shirts like the "Jesus, sweet saviour, king of kings" orange shirt, styled to look the Reese's peanut butter cup logo.


Elsewhere at the pool, Janice did her ongoing Carrie Nation impression by pouring Rodrigo's lemonade and vodka into the water. Extensive plastic surgery good, alcohol bad.

In the hotel, J.P. reflects on the awkwardness of being in the same room as Rodrigo, since from J.P.'s perspective he was happy with the one date that they had, didn't want to go out again, and really didn't want to explain why he felt that way. Perhaps one way that Rodrigo could have made J.P. feel less awkward would have been to tell J.P. how it felt to bufu Eddie Stone in the video Stone Fox. There's nothing like a story of participation in an adult video to break the ice.

The models finally do the show and it is a success. The theme was "Mad Max". Payton looked good with that mop top on his head kept under hats. J.P. had an improved look with his hair pushed up and not the usual slick down. Dominic Figlio came out on the runway shaking his junk and carrying a rifle, proving that he speaks softly and carries a big gun.


Most embarrassing moment: Joe Monbleau grabbing his crotch in front of the client, in order to show, I don't know what. Joe was the one that needed the prostheses for the Andrew Christian shoot so it doesn't make sense to call attention to that area.

Janice Dickinson And Furry Friends

In season three, episode seven of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, we finally get to see the behind the scenes view of the PETA protest from last year. When the event happened in real life it seemed to have come out of the blue and it wasn't clear at the time why it was happening. Now we can see what prompted the situation and what the models had actually been thinking. Unfortunately, I don't think this particular protest theme (of near nudity) has ever been effective for PETA and it probably totally distracts from the actual message. Most people seeing it have 99% of their mind on leering at the protesters and taking pictures (you can see some on the Brian Kehoe page).

If I keep it real here, I have to say that there is no logical difference between leather and fur, other than the fact that fur-bearing animals are a lot cuter than cows. So it is not clear why fur is the center of attention. The campaign really should be to end any inhumane treatment of animals used for food or clothing, while realizing that in nature, living beings do sometimes use other living beings for their own purpose.

I appreciate everyone who participated to express their beliefs. Ethical treatment of animals, per se, is a worthy cause. I also have an even greater respect for J.P. Calderon for coming to the defense of Ligia after she was harangued by Christian Prelle for not participating. It's always sad when someone is being attacked and the majority stand back and do nothing. I don't know that we as a society should ever hope to be successful in protecting animals when we won't even protect each other.

On a lighter note, the casting and shoot for Dragonfly by Edward Dada was amusing to see what dead rock stars anybody thought the JDMA models looked like. Payton Brady was selected to be Elvis Presley and I think he certainly is reminiscent of the King. Unfortunately, the spirit of Elvis had definitely left the building and Payton was left unsure on how to channel it into his poses. Someone get that boy some blue suede shoes.

Brian Kehoe was selected for the shoot, but I couldn't think of who he would be cast as. Kehoe is a one of a kind and no lookalike dead rockers come to mind. To my surprise he was supposed to be Sid Vicious (before he died). Well, heroin addict is not something I would ever think of when I see Kehoe. However, Crystal Trueheart did do a convincing Nancy Spungen (also, as she was before she died).

Note: Tom Bridegroom, one of the finalists for the SensiClear infomercial is hot.

Janice Dickinson And Manly Men

In season three, episode six of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the fanfare for the uncommon man, the Rufskin Denim shoot, shot it's wad of photos and it was a good but sticky situation.

The four models in the shoot, Michael Anderson, Maurice Townsell, Danny Nunez, and Christian Prelle got ready by doing a lot of sit-ups and push-ups and the exertion really paid off. Their glazed bodies showed every appropriate line and curve that naturally screamed, "I am the ultimate in the male of the human species." In particular, Christian Prelle's classic sensual S-curve and forward thrusting pelvis were a dominating presence on the set, demanding both respect and reverence. He said that the clothes were a little risqué for his tastes, but they were generally minor accessories to the main subjects, which were the models themselves.

During the shoot, Janice pulls Danny Nunez aside to counsel him to apply more intensity and find something in his head (or perhaps in his pants) to ram through the camera lens. She suggested that maybe he didn't like posing the way he was, and dressed the way he was, while standing with the two other male models. I don't think that was the problem at all. Danny is a real professional who willingly follows direction to get the best shot. It was more likely just inexperience that was causing him to hold back a little for a scene with which he wasn't familiar.

He talked about how it seemed that he was being cast for jobs that involved little or no clothes and that had a "gay" theme. He expressed a hope that he would get "manlier" types of jobs in the future.

I totally understand that that was youthful naiveté speaking and he just needs me to set him straight (so to speak) on what is really going on. Danny boy, you get jobs that show off your body because it is a work of art. You wouldn't expect to see the real Michaelangelo's David displayed with a polo shirt and a pair of Dockers covering it. And in this case, a "gay theme" equates to a sense of hyper masculinity. People want you in their photos exactly because you do look so manly. You're dripping pure testosterone. It may be to some that modeling sweatpants and a sports jersey is "manlier" than what you have been modeling, but those people would be idiots and that kind of job would only get you a small image in the back of the Sears catalog. You're doing great with what you have been doing.

As the Rufskin shoot progressed Danny and the others indicated that they were getting more comfortable with it. They experienced the enlightenment that being in close contact with other men isn't so scary after all. It only makes sense that if guys can be comfortable wrestling and grabbing in stretchy unitards trying to pin each other down or be completely naked together in gym showers, then this kind of thing is nothing. They also realized that the whole concept was to be as "straight" as possible while wearing clothes that accentuated their orientation, not disguised it.

For the record, for me the penultimate shot was the one with a wet Danny, seated on the ground with legs wide and teeth clenching a waistband. I want a life-size poster of that.

The other highpoint of the episode was the J.P. Calderon arranged (by Janice's son Nathan) date with Rodrido de Carli. It's funny that Brian Kehoe couldn't get Rodrigo and J.P together but Nathan could. Along with Traci Moslenko, they all go to a water park. J.P is content to kiss Rodrigo in public, but that makes it even less clear why J.P. was concerned earlier that low-rise Rufskin jeans would make him look gay while kissing a guy at a water park didn't seen to faze him.

Kudos to Janice for her sensitivity during the SensiClear casting and the one-on-one time with CC. Janice is a nice lady.

Janice Dickinson and Homoeroticism

In season three, episode five of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, we finally get to see the start of the Rufskin Denim shoot. The photographs by Justin Monroe have been around for awhile, and they are excellent examples of the industrial fantasy males genre. The models used were Christian Prelle, Michael Anderson, Maurice Townsell and Danny Nunez. Danny (shown here) is a favorite of mine and his photos are pretty breathtaking. He looks even more sexy dressed this way than he did even when he was totally undressed. I especially love the hair.

The overall look from the shoot seems more homoerotic to me than gay. Straight guys dressed and posed this way is a fantastic look. If this doesn't get straight women and gay men hot and bothered then nothing will. HoYaY!

However, Rufskin Denim doesn't seem to be trying to capitalize on their JDMA appearance very well. There's no tie-in on their website. They should have seen what Andrew Christian did with their appearance on JDMA the week before and tried to convert interest into sales. On the other hand, the denim from Rufskin doesn't look very "wearable" for most people. It appears to be costume clothing more than anything else. Is denim even suitable for underwear or swimwear? I would think the appearance of the bulkiness of denim underwear under slacks would make them look more like Depends than a fashion statement.

When the Rufskin people visited the agency to do the casting, the straight models seemed to be having fun with trying on the crack exposing pants, but for some reason J.P. Calderon was reluctant to wear "gay" clothing. That seemed strange considering the straight models were willing to do it. I'm not even sure what would classify these clothes as gay:

Speaking of gay, at a poker party at Chris Jones' place, there was an interesting exchange between Chris and Brian Kehoe concerning Kehoe's sexuality. Chris asked a female model in front of everyone if she knew that Kehoe wasn't straight. Kehoe objected to the accusation and looked really hurt that his friend Chris would suggest that he was hiding something from him.

Kehoe makes the issue cloudy by the things he says; however, I can totally understand where what he says comes from. He is a fraternity guy (as was I) and most things said in a fraternity are sexual. Either it is about women and their body parts or it's about calling each other gay. To get along you play along and act gay for laughs, up to but not including actually having sex with your fraternity brothers. I think it is likely that Kehoe is still in the fraternity mindset but now in the real world the people he interacts with don't realize it's just a game.

This episode also included the continuation of the Ashley Paige tiff between her and Janice. Ashley had had set up a photo shoot on the beach using several of Janice's models, but during the shoot Ashley goaded Janice to appear in the photos as well. Janice didn't want to do it but went along with it. To make sure that Ashley suffered for her audacity, Janice verbally clawed Ashley to shreds, calling her a parrot among other things. I think we have all been in a situation where we don't want to have our picture taken and/or where we are frustrated with how much time the person holding the camera is taking. Janice was justified in making her remarks although if I were her I would have just refused to do it or at least I would have held my hand over my face every time the camera was pointed at me. Ashley got in one perhaps unintentional slam of Janice when she told the models, "Build a sandcastle for 'mommie dearest'."

For this episode, I have to give props to Michael Anderson for going to Chris Jones' party and for agreeing to do the Rufskin shoot. His previous anti-nudity thing made him seem too self-righteous but his actions in this episode made him seem more like a regular guy.

This week's most unbelievable Janice laugh-out-loud line: "Look, I'm just going to stay in the background and just watch. Don't mind me."

Janice Dickinson and Christian Nudity

In season three, episode four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the underwear company du semaine is Andrew Christian. As previously mentioned here, these companies are smart to grab the opportunity for television exposure, but so far it looks like Andrew has capitalized on it the best. One thing he did is post hot photos from his JDMA photo shoot on his website emblazoned with the company name and logo. Now these pictures are all over the web, providing free advertisement. The second thing he got right was the extensive use of model Danny Nunez, including the celebrated display of Danny's raw rump roast. Truly, this is the butt that launched a thousand browsers.

I'm not convinced that the world needs so many designers of fashion underwear, but Andrew Christian is pretty impressive if for no other reason than how he handled Janice. If you are going to be a "client" of hers you need to go into it realizing that it is all about you winning her over, not the other way around. Andrew went into the agency bearing offerings and praises and he let her have her say at the shoot. The result was a positive segment and now he will he will reap the benefit.

Sexy Andrew selected four of Janice's fly boys for his photo shoot: Joe Monbleau, Danny Nunez and boyfriends Shane McCarron and Paul Anderson. (J.P. Calderon was presumably not selected because of his previous work for 2(x)ist.) At the shoot Andrew quickly realized that as good as Danny looks in one of his swimsuits, Danny looks even better not wearing one. Andrew asks Danny to get junk nekkid and for the next seven minutes of the show Danny's assets become the center of the camera's attention and reverence. It was easy instruction for the show's director to the cameraman: "Find a spot between Danny's buttocks and focus the camera there."

Danny understated as usual that he "was good with it". Wouldn't it be great if all good-looking men were so compliant when told to drop their pants and just stand there until you are done with them? He was even okay when Paul happily volunteered to shave his butt. I don't think I would be comfortable taking a razor to someone's haunches but I certainly wouldn't have minded patting on the after-shave.

The model that really had something to be embarrassed about was Joe Monbleau. His drawers either had too much fabric or not enough to fill it. He tried playing with his erector set on the fly but he still needed a prosthetic "enhancement" to distinguish himself from the female models. I can't believe it was so easy to find someone to shave Danny's butt but not to find someone to help Joe rise to his potential.

Danny was not only skilled at standing erect, he also showed that he could work it while laying on his back. He did a scene with Shaun where they were in a close embrace. The photographer wanted them to appear to kiss, but Danny was too much of a gentleman to kiss someone's guy while the boyfriend was there in the room. He said that kissing Shaun was something he wouldn't do and I say good for him.

Danny may not have felt any temptation, but in another segment of the episode he and a lot of the other models auditioned to be game show models for the new show Temptation. The models were taught how to stroke and gesture at products but of the men only Brian Kehoe was able to do a good job and that, as would be expected, was by lying seductively in bed. The ugly male host of the show didn't like Kehoe, but Reno's gift to the world wouldn't really fit with a cheesy syndicated game show. The show instead picked Christian Prelle and rigid Christian Michael.

There was a segment at the beginning of the episode where Janice was confronted by Michael and Models for Jesus concerning her love of nudity. Janice let her prudes Dominique and Micheal know that in her flesh business that they would have to expose themselves come Hell or high water. In the end, the fear of loss of morality wasn't as great as fear of loss of income and career and they decided to bare with it.