Work Out: Getting Dirty

In season three, episode three of Work Out, it was all about the boys getting dirty in the mud and the girls on a kooz cruise trying to figure out if it is better to have tuna with good taste or tuna that tastes good.

Jackie Warner had taken the females on a lesbian cruise, so Brian Peeler had asked the male trainers at Sky Sport as a counterpoint to join him as a team to do a mud run at Camp Pendleton's 10K obstacle course. Peeler saw it as a bonding experience for the five of them: Peeler, Greg Plitt, JD Jordan, Jesse Brune and Gregg Butler. At the time that Peeler first presented the idea, some of the guys said they looked forward to getting in the mud. Personally, I can't stand even getting my hands soiled and deliberately jumping into mud would be unthinkable. On the other hand, I have to agree with Jesse: "Honestly, being trapped on a boat with a bunch of lesbians, versus going to play in the mud, I'd choose the mud."

The boys went to the base and started the run (sans shirts). Peeler had shown a lot of bravado about how much better he would do than his teammates, but shortly after starting, he got a cramp at mile 1. This didn't hold back the two gay trainers. JD and Jesse went out in front of their team and ended up with the real bonding experience. They made their theme of the day be "eat our fairy dust". They finished the course just under an hour but then had to wait for the rest of the team. Their performance was really good. I'm used to seeing gay guys only doing drag races, and in heels, they don't run so fast.

Peeler ended up being alone and last by a long, long, long margin. He was a little miffed because he loves the thought of buddy activities and he was more interested in the camaraderie of the team rather than its placement. He didn't care about coming in last as long as he had his mates with him to share the moment.

Peeler was able to share a group shower after the race and he was shown going under the water in his boxer briefs. Jesse said that the water must have been cold (suggesting that Peeler had a small package and that the temperature of the water could be used as an excuse). Jesse must not have had a good vantage point or else had water in his eye, because the camera showed that Peeler has at least a ballpark frank and maybe even a large size tin of Spam.

Peeler let himself be the subject of good natured ribbing about his performance. He was happy to enjoy the fraternization. He took the opportunity to ask the guys what their opinion was about his previous unhappy experience with the Don Scott meeting with Jackie (concerning the Doug Blasdell fundraiser) where Peeler was excluded. Peeler said he had no idea why Jackie doesn't like him and he wanted to know if the men had any insight. Jesse pondered what he should say, knowing that he had already discussed the matter with Jackie and had gotten her side of the event. Jesse finally said that his opinion was that Jackie was disturbed by Brian's insistence of remembering and referring to Doug and his death after she and supposedly everyone else wanted to forget it. Jesse suggested that there was an appearance that Peeler's onging mourning of Doug's passing was not so much about his feeling of loss but rather an attempt by Peeler to get attention.

Here is an interesting psychological situation. You have two people, Jackie and Jesse, that are both uncomfortable about Brian's persistence in talking about Doug. However, the reason for each one's discomfort, whether they understand it or not, is very different. Jackie doesn't like Brian because he is a caring, compassionate person, which is something that she knows she can never be. She sees the enjoyment that others have in being human and resents that such joy will never be hers in her soulless existence. It is easy to understand then why she would direct the resulting bitterness towards a person that embodies the essence of what is to her an unattainable achievement. On the other, Jesse has character and soul but he has a weakness of wanting to avoid that which makes him unhappy. He had had a disagreement with Doug but had made up with him before the end. Still, there is a noticeable distress that Jesse feels when reminded of Doug. Therefore he just wants Peeler to stop bringing it up so that he, Jesse, can bury the memories deeper in the vault of unsettling shadows of things past.

Gregg and Jesse go further by trying to make Peeler understand that nothing is going to change Jackie's tyranny over Sky Sport and that all the trainers had to accept the loss of their dignity and self-respect if they want wanted to keep working for the monster.

Meanwhile, on the les-boat, poor Rebecca Cardon had to play pool games, including lesbian balloon popping. She had to give a lap dance with sufficient force to pop a balloon that lay between her and her gamy partner, exploding the protective latex that separated her from the unpleasantness below. She had fun but said it was the most mortifying experience of her life. She just wanted to get off the ship.

Quote that most endears me to Rebecca: "I miss the penis."

Digest Of Week Ending 4-25-08

Sunday, April 20. Dateline. There was a disgusting segment on how old mattresses found on the street are just recovered and sold. Why would anyone buy a used mattress? Better to sleep on the floor or the dirt outside than some urine and feces soaked padding.

60 Minutes. There was a very interesting segment on the possibility of the lost da Vinci fresco of the Battle of Anghiari being behind Giorgio Vasari's in the Palazzo Vecchio. If true, it would be the most amazing find in art since the discovery of Lascaux. I'm sure someone cares about Vasari's work, but if there is evidence that the da Vinci is behind it, it should be ripped down asap to get to the unimaginably priceless masterpiece hidden underneath.

Big Brother 9. I think I am starting to root for Sheila Kennedy. Unbelievable.

Desperate Housewives. The show has been so repetitive with sex with underage boys and unsolved murders. This week was a little more interesting. It was good to see Eddie McGee again (playing one of the two characters in a wheelchair). Eddie was the winner of Season 1 of Big Brother. What I don't like is how Gabby is treating Carlos. It reminds too much of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Tuesday, April 21. American Idol. Syesha seemed to have gotten a lot more applause than she deserved. She was just too unpolished to be considered good. It was sacrilege that Jason Castro did not know that a cat sang "Memories". And worse, it was bizarre to hear Grizabella portrayed as a stoner cat. All in all it was a dismal performance. It should be added to the best of the worst routines from the rejects at the beginning of the season. It was that bad. I love the song "You Must Love Me", but I hated Brooke White's rendition. She makes you want to tell the character just go ahead and die, please. I would have loved to have heard David Archuleta sing the song instead (or "Memories"). I thought it was tacky for Ryan to let little girls paw at Archuleta. I was as uncomfortable watching it as he was from being touched by girls. About his performance, there are so many other songs I would rather have heard him sing from the songbook. I totally agree with Simon that it was too forgetable. Maybe he should let Daddy pick his songs. Listening to Carly Smithson was like listening to an AM radio from tiny speakers with a muted mid-range. I am forced to admit that David Cook actually seemed to understand the character singing "Music of the Night". It was a good job.

Hell's kitchen. I missed it this week and I was very unhappy about it. It usually is a highlight of the viewing week.

Big Brother 9. I was sorry to see Sharon go, but it was really her own fault. She had so many opportunities to win competitions but she couldn't seal the deal. She couldn't expect to win the top prize if she couldn't win HOH along the way. Of the final three, I think Sheila is the most deserving. I haven't always liked the way she has played, ethically speaking, but she has been a really good player.

Wednesday, April 23. Big Brother 9. I hate that Ryan Quicksall and Adam Jasinski are the final two. I always hate the finale of Big Brother. I almost always dislike the last two players. Ryan is such a blob of nothing and a double-crosser. I have to believe that the jury will select Adam as the winner. It was funny to see inside the jury house and watch crazy Natalie experience again how much Matt dislikes her. Will this girl ever get some dignity and stop blaspheming and stop chasing after a guy that just wishes she would go away?

American Idol. Why did Andrew Lloyd Webber have the guys sing so high on "All I Ask Of You"? They sang like their nuts had been snipped. Webber pointed out the obvious that Jason singing "Memories" was bizarre, but that it was Jason's choice. That's why you are not supposed to make important decisions while under the influence. He should have been the one to go instead of Carly Smithson. I guess there were a lot of stoned voters this week, both in Pennsylvania and across the country. I liked the Ford video. David Archuleta was sweet playing the animator.

Top Chef. It took me awhile to catch up this season. I watched like five episodes last weekend starting from the beginning. This week's highlight: executive pastry chef Johnny Iuzzini. He has great eyes.

Thursday, April 24. Survivor. I'm too agitated by the stupidity of Survivor players to say anything.

Friday, April 25. 20/20. There was a hidden camera experiment leaving a child alone on a New York city street to see if anyone would stop to help. The results showed that while most people wouldn't stop, of those that did, the majority were women. It was pointed out that men would be more concerned with being accused of something. It's sad that it is that way, but you have to be concerned with self-defense. There have been so many people falsely accused by children that a person would have to be nuts to have anything to do with them. The best course of action is to call authorities (from a distance). There was another hidden camera experiment with gay people showing PDA in public. As expected, two men met with more disapproval than two women. The two women were feminine types though. It would have been interesting to have included two butch women as well to see what the reaction would have been. My view treats everyone the same. I don't like PDA involving anyone. Put me in the bitter column.

Work Out: Jesse Welcomes JD

In season three, episode two of Work Out, the new SkyLab clients were introduced as well as new gay staff member JD Jordan. Jesse Brune showed his concern for his new client and his camaraderie with his fellow trainers, while his boss from Hell, Jackie Warner put out to sea and made miserable the trainers she Shanghaied to go with her.

At the start of the episode, Jesse noticed new boy JD working out and Jackie told him that she was thinking about hiring JD as a masseur for SkyLab. Jesse admired JD's physique, which played into Jackie's favorite sport of showing indifference to other people's feelings. Jackie explained that she thought it would be fun for her to bring Jesse and JD together, and in the process break up Jesse's existing relationship. Jesse, brave and true, wasn't having it. He only used the opportunity to make a new (gay) friend on the staff. Still, Jesse sagaciously noticed that "He wants to have sex with me. I'm sure of it. But I have a boyfriend so we'll just have to be friends." On the other hand, it may only have been a comment based on the odds. Who wouldn't want some tuck and roll action with our favorite fitness guide?

JD massaged Jackie and told her that she has a lot of tension. I'm curious, has anyone ever gotten a massage where they were not told they had a lot of tension? It's probably one of the first things you learn to do when training to be a masseur. You get a little starter kit, which includes candles, oil, mood music, a script with the aforementioned line, and a large wooden spoon for giving deep tissue massages to people you would rather not touch directly.

Jackie went to lunch at an Asian restaurant again with the female trainers and told them that she is taking them on an Olivia (lesbian) cruise to Mexico. The nature of the cruise prompted the girls to talk about how being kissed by Jackie is something that you have to expect as one of her female employees. Sky Sport: one of the few work environments where acceptance of sexual harassment is a bona fide occupational qualification.

Before she set sail, Jackie had a conversation with her girlfriend Briana about the cruise, mentioning that old fling Rebecca Cardon would be there too. Briana was appropriately concerned, which mystified Jackie as she explained that she never had any real emotions during her relationship with Rebecca. Jackie strangely, although maybe not so strange for her, stated that the question of why Briana was concerned is something that "she doesn't want to answer within herself." As indecipherable as that statement is, it can be understood well enough when you consider that Jackie only sees the pain that she causes in other people's lives as their problem, not hers.

In contrast, noble Jesse goes to visit his new SkyLab client/partner, Natalie. He stated that he wanted to help change her life forever and really to get to know her. As part of that he wanted to see what kind of environment she lived in. Of great importance to him was the contents of her refrigerator. He took a look and there was a lot of nasty junk food in it. For me, any inspection of someone else's refrigerator that doesn't reveal body parts of some previous trick is a pretty positive experience so I probably wouldn't have cared about the loads of fat covered globs of fat filled pieces of fat that Jesse found and ended up throwing out.

While the girls weighed anchor on their floating yeast infection convention, the boy trainers went to Greg Plitt's place for a BBQ male bonding experience. They got to play horseshoes, which modest Jesse first suggested was something alien to him, but being as well-rounded as he is, he showed that he could easily throw a ringer. Brian Peeler wasn't so good at this dude game, but he upped the ante by suggesting that all of the guys go as a team to do a Mud Run at Camp Pendleton. Jesse agreed, but probably with a lot of mock excitement about the prospect.

Back on the boat, Rebecca and Erika Jacobson led a "boot camp" exercise session for a deck of dykes. Jackie observed the class taking place and her psychological issue of needing to slap people in the face with her position of authority kicked in and she kicked Rebecca and Erika out of way while she took over. Erika and Rebecca later confronted Jackie about her problem. Jackie of course was indifferent to anyone else's feelings and belittled Rebecca and Erika for being bothered by it. Jackie did let the audience in on what goes on in her head by projecting her feeling of insecurity and attributing the quality to Rebecca instead. Rebecca then showed that she is smarter than you might think by pointing out Jackie's projection to her face.

Unfortunately, to see more of Jesse, a viewer has to put up with Jackie's crap, but unlike her terrorized trainers, we don't have to pretend that she's not seriously messed up.

Brett Novek For Taco Bell

Brett Novek appears in a major national television commercial for Taco Bell, pushing the intense appeal of the bacon in the Bacon Club Chalupa. His line consisted only of "Hey!", but besides its context in the commercial, it was a shout out from him to the broader, Middle-American audience that he's ready to introduce himself to them.

As well as being shown during many other shows, the commercial was shown during American Idol. This means that during that thirty second moment in time, more people saw Brett than have ever seen him in all of his previous work put together. If not the big time, it's at least the start of the big time.

It should be noted that of the five principal actors in the ad, Brett Novek's name was one chosen to be included in the title of the video when it was posted to YouTube. It answers the question, "Who is the guy in the Taco Bell commercial?"

The synopsis of the commercial is that two women arrive at a club and one notices the scent of bacon. The other woman shows that she is carrying a Bacon Club Chalupa from Taco Bell in her purse because of her belief that guys love bacon. The implication is that the chalupa will aid her in her objective of meeting "cute guys". Her premise is shown to be valid as three men immediately greet the women and inquire about the scent. One of the guys, referring to the smell of the bacon, asks erroneously (and strangely) what the women are wearing, calling it "intoxicating". The ad ends with deep sniffs from the guys and a voice-over of "smells good".

Indiana is big pork producer, so I may be wrong about this, but if a woman smells like bacon in public, I would have thought that if guys did come over to meet her, it would be to give her a can of Lysol. On the other hand, there are a number of other possible scents that would be considerably more objectionable than bacon, so I'm willing to suspend disbelief and allow for the use of pig fat as a man lure.

Brett Novek Fans on MySpace

Digest Of Week Ending 4-18-08

I have to be more summarized this week than usual, having been preoccupied with other things. Fortunately I don't need a lot of words to celebrate my trifecta. I have been wanting to see Natalie Cunial leave Big Brother 9, Kristy Lee Cook leave American Idol and Ozzy Lusth be voted out of Survivor. It was Thursday afternoon that I started to think that maybe after I had seen Natalie and Kristy Lee get the heave-ho this week, that the rule of things occurring in threes might foretell the end of Ozzy's reign. I actually skipped to the end of Survivor because I couldn't wait to see who lost and that's when I heard Ozzy giving his final bitter statements about his fellow players. Yay!

I wanted Kristy Lee to go because her singing was so bad, Natalie because of her blasphemy, and Ozzy because of his cockiness. Ozzy could have won and it would have been deserved, but I can't stand it when people think they have the competition in the bag.

The other thing worth mentioning this week was David Archuleta's pants choice. Were they leather? It's like seeing Raggedy Andy in goth. It's unsettling.

Work Out: Back To Work

In season three, episode one of Work Out, Jesse Brune goes on a double date to Geisha House restaurant, he with his boyfriend and Jackie Warner with her new girlfriend. This is the first opportunity for Jesse to show his beau on air. Because it's Jesse, I want to be happy for him being in a relationship but it's hard because I hate all couples. I put that aside and see the boyfriend as one of those people who win the mega lottery. You think good for them, although you still wish it were you instead. It's all twists of fate, so fare thee well, happy couple.

Jesse and Jackie talk about a situation that had occurred earlier where Doug Blasdell's partner, Don Scott, as the organizer for a fundraiser for Doug's foundation, had come to Sky Sport to talk to Jackie and Brian Peeler about speaking at the event. Jackie used the opportunity to be shockingly callous and petty by abusing her position as the boss and keeping Brian out of the meeting. It has been clear that Jackie and Brian don't like each other at all, but the situation was a really tasteless slap down considering Doug and Brian's relationship. Jackie makes it worse by stating that she doesn't believe it's a big deal to treat people like trash. She referred to Brian's involvement with the Doug fundraiser as the tiniest of things. It won't be surprising then if karma gives her a literal bitch slap back on something someday that is important to her. Hopefully Brian will be aware of it and get the last laugh.

To introduce new trainer Greg Plitt to the audience, Erika runs to show Jesse a copy of Fitness RX for Men magazine with Greg on the cover. Jesse is intrigued by the photos inside, but he feels Greg is too built up. He and Erika joke with disdain that perhaps the bulk is not all natural, yet Jesse politely states that Greg looks like a nice person and like someone with good conversational skills. Jesse went on with a mixed and somewhat confusing assessment that Greg looked creepy, but also like a beautiful mountain that one would need to climb.

I totally agree with Jesse. Too much muscle is too much. What would be a perfect body? I think one with the initials J.B.

Jesse quote that makes me feel closer to him: "A body like that takes dedication. And dedication that I would never like to have."

Brian Peeler quote that makes me feel closer to him: "There's only so much kissing, lesbian kissing that people can take."

Digest Of Week Ending 04-11-08

Sunday, April 6. Big Brother 9. I agree with Ryan Quicksall's assessment that Joshuah Welch's departure speech was cheesy. It was inconsistent with the way he acted through the season. Natalie Cunial continued her blasphemy, stating that God speaks to her in dreams and that He went out of his way to let her know that Adam would win HOH. Hopefully God will strike her with lightning to show what a fraud she is.

Monday, April 7. Larry King Live. The guests were the American Idol judges. I had thought the way that AI works is pretty simple and straightforward but Larry seemed to remain clueless throughout the hour about it no matter how many times the premise of the show was explained to him. There was a mention of David Hernandez but the judges pointed out that his stripper past didn't or at least shouldn't have mattered in the vote where David was let go. The judges talked about who the favorites were, but they didn't mention that Kristy Lee Cook is the worst one remaining on the show. In addition to the discussion, it would have been nice for Larry to have taught Ryan how to talk.

Tuesday, April 8. American Idol. Syesha Mercado was screeching again. Ghastly. Krisy Lee Cook was screaming again. Please, America, put her out of our misery.

Wednesday, April 9. Big Brother 9.The HOH competition has the houseguests in class cages. Glad to see Natalie and Sheila Kennedy in one. I just hope Natalie doesn't get it. I can't stand her and the sooner she leaves the better.

Thursday, April 10. American Idol. There was a clip of some of the stars from the previous night lip syncing to a song. In this Rob Schneider finally showed a talent. It was interesting to see how David Archuleta was really getting down during the Ford video. The video had a car driving through puddles of multi-colored paint. With all the ink on her they should have just used Carly Smithson's body and run over that instead. It was surprising that Michael Johns left at this point in the competition. It should have been Kristy Lee Cook. Is Kristy the next Sanjaya?

Friday, April 11. Meeting David Wilson. This show had an interesting premise with two David Wilsons, one white and one black whose ancestors were associated by slavery. It was depressing at first to hear from African-Americans about the continuing slavery of the mind, that keeps people obsessed with the past and not focusing on today. As the show went on, it did turn around when the documentary maker seemed to accept that the only way forward it to unlock yourself from the chains of the past. Unfortunately, the show got hijacked at the end by the live panel who just peddled tired racial stereotypes. It was supposed to be an open conversation about race, but there was no dialogue. It was only a set of speeches that preached political correctness and would not allow any difference of opinion. The whole thing is hopeless until the day comes when all of can draw a line on the calendar and agree that nothing that happened before that point will be accepted as having an unalterable effect on any of us.

Comedy Central Presents. I watched the stand-up routine of Nick Thune. He was hilarious and no bad looking. Sample line: "Let me tell you guys the most awkward place to run into a homeless person. On your way to the Coinstar."

Idol Gives Back

For Idol Gives Back, I was glad to see the So You Think You Can Dance stars, including Benji Schwimmer, Nick Lazzarini and Pasha Kovalev. I was a little frightened by Mary Murphy's threat of screaming all night until people contributed though. I had the phone in my hand but fortunately she stopped in time.

The script writers made Miley Cyrus seem like both an egotist and a fool. Her agent should have vetoed it. I have never been sure why she's popular. I don't think she could have made the finals on AI. A video was shown of her father Billy Ray taking her to a trashy part of Appalachia. Question: how can people make something of themselves if they won't even pick up the garbage in their yard? It doesn't take money just to pick up trash and put it in a bin.

Reese Witherspoon made an appearance on the show. Where was Jake? As a consolation, I was happy to see David Hernandez again. David Archuleta showed how much better he is than every one else when he sang is part in "Seasons of Love". Robin Williams did a tiresome mockery of a stereotypical Russian. Didn't that routine finish its course in the 80s?

On the charity part, I just don't agree with repopulating New Orleans unless it can be made safe from flooding. There's no reason to create another catastrophe-waiting-to-happen. If NOLA has half as many people as it had before, that's okay. There are other parts of Louisiana or the U.S. where we can build houses. To continue to talk about displace people is ridiculous. There are thousands of people who have moved to other parts of the country permanently. To keep treating them as if they are still residents of New Orleans is crazy.

MMAS: Holly Good And Fine

In the finale of Make Me A Supermodel, it was all about experiencing the real world by meeting with actual potential clients, and also about having the real world temporarily intrude by having a visit from significant people from home. It may have just been a way to fill out an hour for the finale, but it did provide some interesting moments and helped shape (or solidified) the viewers' last assessment of the final four contestants.

The models were given maps and a list of appointments with casting people. Strangely, finding their way to the particular street addresses of the clients appeared to be the hardest challenge of the season. In future seasons it should definitely be made a contest in the regular part of the show. That, and walking and chewing gum at the same time. I don't why; it just amuses me.

Ben DiChiara was shown first going to Esprit. The rep said they wanted their models to be a little sexy but still wholesome. It sounded like a perfect description of Ben, and he did look really good in their clothes. I would be enticed to buy seeing how well the clothes looked on him. The only sour note was that Ben came to the go-see wearing his blue shirt with the argyle pattern that he lived in for most of the series. I know Ben burned clothes off his back in the first episode to show how committed he was but could he redo that ceremony and this time throw in the blue shirt? It had been washed so many times and was so worn it would just make a tiny puff of smoke from the few threads that were left.

Later Ben went to Ginch Gonch underwear where walked around in their briefs and agreed to use a banana as a prop. His comment to the TV camera was that he didn't particularly like dancing around like a monkey but he did it anyway. Thank goodness Ben is coming around to doing things that he feels uncomfortable with (that aren't bad things anyway) because the job requires it. This was a necessary hurdle for him to get over and he seems to be trying to make it. The casting people didn't care him but what do they know? Their company used over-inflated porn stars as their models.

Perry Ullmann went to People's Revolution where he showed his walk and the comments about him were of course that he was edgy, sexy, and great for runway and editorial. At establishment casting, inc., Perry was described as beautiful and charming. Two for two - not bad.

Ronnie Kroell met with Rebecca Beeson who said her brand was modern, sexy, and cool - none of which is Ronnie. He tried on the clothes and did his walk and it was just embarrassing to watch. His first outfit was vertical stripes which is guaranteed to look horrible on him. When he walked, it was classic Ronnie. He leaned backwards while he walked and then did the same look and turn at the end that he always does. Surely there is at least some fly-by-night modeling school at his local mall that could teach him to stop doing that caricature.

Later Ronnie went to Ginch Gonch to give it a go. He tried on their wares, which was not an aesthetically pleasing sight, and then like Ben did a routine with a banana. Omigod! Even in that scenario, Ronnie did the same expression and turn as always. It's like he's addicted to it. His friends and family in Chicago need to have an intervention to tell him how much his lack of variety is hurting them (and those of us watching the show).

All the models went to GQ to try on clothes and take Polaroids. BTW, Polaroid is going to stop making film so GQ better drag themselves into the digital age. The people there said Perry was the best, naturally, as long as they could get rid of the red hair. I totally agree on the hair thing. It needs to be darker to balance against his complexion.

On the models' last night at the townhouse, Holly Kiser's fiancee, Ben's wife April, Perry's girlfriend Amanda, and Ronnie's mother showed up to add some poignancy and drama and who cares. I must say that Ben and April were so cute together. She really makes Ben become even more adorable. It was a good moment but it was interrupted by lecherous Ronnie butting it to try to create some awkward drama.

The end finally came and the models appeared before the judges to hear the results. It wasn't clear if the models were dismissed in reverse order of popularity, but Perry and Ben went first, which really scared me. I thought surely the votes of gay viewers wanting to see a gay guy win regardless of talent would not be enough to put Ronnie on top. It was tense, but finally Holly was declared the winner and Ronnie disappeared literally into the wings.

After episode eleven, I would have been happy with either Perry or Holly winning, and during the finale I became okay with Ben winning. So, I had a 3 out of four chance of capping off this season with some satisfaction. But now, like the end of The Truman Show, I'm thinking, so what else is on?

Digest Of Week Ending 04-04-08

Sunday, March 30. Big Brother 9. If were to ignore Joshuah Welch's rants and his TMI about sloppy anal sex, I think would be liking him more and more. It's unbelievable that America would say that Natalie Cunial would give a more inspirational speech than Joshuah. He pointed out that he could do it and use words longer than 5 letters and his speech would not be written in crayon or nail polish. I still really dislike Natalie. She continued her blasphemous ways by stating that God does her bidding to control the results of BB competitions and curses her enemies. If he does answer her prayers, she out ought to pray very hard for God to help heal her mind. Maybe he could repair what ever part of her brain creates the psychotic theories of numerology that will eventually make every one of the digits her special number. She won HOH by getting the obvious questions right and randomly raising her right and left hands on the others and so just got lucky. Joshuah wisely pointed out how Matt McDonald will probably have to get a restaining order against her when the game is over. There should be an online contest to see how many days go by before he is forced to do that.

American Idol. Ryan Seacrest started the show by doing an April Fools Day joke. He's not believable when he is telling the truth and it's no different when he's lying. I did have one surprise: I actually liked David Cook's performance. If he were to start using Prell or industrial strength shampoo, it's possible I could someday like him. Ramiele Malubay surprisingly seemed to raise herself up to being just strongly below average. Simon said her performance would be something heard on a cruise ship - perhaps Voyage of The Damned. There was another beautiful performance from the Honduran hobbit, David Archuleta. I guess there will be no whupping from Dad tonight. Kristy Lee Cook sang "Coat of Many Colors" with her voice of many tones, none of them on pitch. As bad as Kristy was, the worst performance of the evening was Syesha. It was the worst kind of cat screeching possible. It should be recorded and used as burglar alarms to scare away intruders.

With the Indiana primary on May 6th, we are finally starting to see presidential campaign commercials. I had been seeing only the Obama one with him in front of an abandoned steel mill. During American Idol there was a "save the planet" ad for him. Not likely to play well in Indiana. Hugging a pig, good. Hugging a tree, bad.

Hell's Kitchen. I love this show. Gordon Ramsey is so harsh he makes Simon Cowell seem Pollyannish. He talks like I wish I could to my staff. Also, the contestants are so wonderfully buffoonish. As one of them said, "At least I didn't make him [Chef Ramsey] throw up like the last guy."

Big Brother 9.Sheila Kennedy got yelled at pretty good by James Zinkand, and she really deserved it. She is probably the worst two-face of the season and her pronouncements that she should be treated special because she is an old, single mother is getting very tiresome. James got his revenge by winning POV, but that of course just sealed the fate of his ally, Joshuah. Josh knew he would picked as James' replacement when James would pull himself off of the block. Unfortunately, Josh didn't realize that he should never trust Natalie. He made a deal with her to have Sharon voted off instead of him, but there is no way that is going to happen. Natalie is a nut and a bigmouth and there is no question she is going to rat out Joshuah.

Wednesday, April 2. American Idol Thank goodness Ramiele is gone, but America needs to put out Kristy Lee Cook next. The results show is too long, but once again, that is what Tivo is for. You can watch the whole episode in a only a few minutes. I know some people don't like the fan questions, but I think it is worthwhile. The show has always been about spontaneous comments and the viewer questions add to this.

Big Brother 9. Joshuah had a scheme to misuse the rules to get a penalty and so be saved this week because people would see that he would be easy to remove next week so they would be more likely to remove Sharon this week. That plan was actually kind of interesting. The plan that was really pathetic was crying on cue for Adam Jasinski, trying to get his sympathy. His big mistake was trusting Natalie. She's too dumb to think strategically so you never know what she is going to do other that use her big mouth. She did rat out Joshuah to Sharon and once again she went back on her word by making sure everyone voted out Joshuah. The worst part of all this is that this is the time when people should be thinking ahead as to how they need to set things up for when James and Josh are gone. They need to turn on each other eventually and they should make use of their enemies as part of the plan. I agree with Josh's mother that sometimes you have to watch him by looking between your fingers. Some of the things he has done must be very embarrassing for her to see. Obviously people in the house hadn't forgotten what he has done and they were glad to get rid of him. Sharon was so close to getting HOH. The rest of the season would have been a lot more interesting if she had gotten it.

Thursday, April 3. Survivor. Ami Cusack was so in command during her original season. What has happened? She has had several opportunities to take control and she has always given in. Her due from this was to be voted out. How many opportunities to get rid of Ozzie are people going to waste?

Friday, April 4. 20/20. Most of the show was about the killing of Dano Cicciaro by John White in Miller Place, NY. It was a tough case and made harder by the racial aspects. I could see both sides and I am a big supporter of being able to use force to defend one's home and property. In the end, I decided that Mr. White did act recklessly and the charges should have been murder instead of manslaughter. He was found guilty but only received a sentence of a few years in prison. He should consider himself lucky having undeniably killed a 17 year old kid. On a lighter note, I want to add that Anthony Simeone, one of Dano's friends, is really cute. I like that Italian, Long Island look, as long as there isn't too much hair gel. Why do they put that glop on their heads? I don't get it.