The Archuleta Effect On Hernandez

Singing sensation David Hernandez was the first of the 12 American Idol finalists to go home and it had nothing to with a previous job as a dancer at gay club. Hernandez was adversely affected by the well-known phenomenon of voting pattern peculiarities that have famously put out talented singers before those decidedly less so. Specifically it has to do with sub-groups of the viewing audience splitting or focusing their votes depending on the events of the week. In this case it wasn't that Hernandez' fan base thought any less of him this week than before, but rather that they were more concerned with saving cute little baby gnome, David Archuleta.

Many viewers, especially at this early stage, have several contestants that they like. When it comes time to vote, a viewer has to decide whether to split their multiple votes for all their favorites or focus on just one. The decision may be based on which one of their favorites really blew them away that week, or maybe on which one they think really needs their help in order to be saved after a bad performance. The problem is that if enough voters happen to be like minded one week they may overvote on one of the worthy few while leaving the others so undervoted that one of the best singers gets removed too early.

This kind of situation is particularly a problem within the natural subsets of singers that form because they either are similar in style or have largely overlapping fan bases. Consider the enormously talented set of Fantasia Barrino, LaToya London and Jennifer Hudson, who all ended up in the bottom three during season three. The peculiarity that occurred that week was that their mutual fans split their votes so evenly that all three were at the bottom while the focused voting on the less worthy singers kept those performers safe. If anyone still has doubt about the effect of split and focused voting, think of one word: Sanjaya.

Unfortunately for David Hernandez (and Danny Noriega for that matter), his obvious fan base is going to overlap with David Archuleta. Well, our little David A is incredibly popular (and the most talented) so many David H fans are going to vote for David A first and as often as they need to to keep David A safe. As most people would agree, Archuleta really flubbed up this week. The natural reaction: power voting by the Hernandez and Archuleta fans for Archuleta. Every vote for one person is a missed vote for someone else and the result was a lot of missed votes that might have gone to Hernandez that got diverted to Archuleta.

The power of the gravitational pull of the Archuleta star has and will be something amazing to watch. This week's display of its effect is a good harbinger of who will win this season. Now that Noriega and Hernandez are out, their would-be future votes will be focused on Archuleta making him unstoppable.

By the way, the few but vocal nut jobs that have tried to make something scandalous out of Hernandez' former job are just the loser types that kept getting beat up in school and now think they have an opportunity to bring down a popular, good looking, and talented man, so that they can feel better about themselves. They are also the people who could only get a lap dance by paying the $40 because no one else would want to be anywhere near them.

MMAS: Making The Sale

In episode nine of Make Me A Supermodel, it was all about selling. Selling clothes and selling themselves to the judges and to the viewing public. The last thing is of course the most important and those that have not paid attention to what they have said on camera will sooner or later bear the consequences.

With the bottom three from the previous week being Ben DiChiara, Casey Skinner and Frankie Godoy, it was a obvious choice for Frankie to be sent home. Ben and Ronnie Kroell anchor each other as does Perry Ullmann and Casey. Frankie, on the other hand, lifts right out. There are other models I would rather have seen leave before him, but I can understand that he was never going to be the overall winner, so leaving in seventh place isn't much different from leaving in third or wherever else he might have placed.

Back at the ranch, the other models maintained their catty ways by verbally using their claws on those away hearing their fate and on each other. It strikes me that the models who insist that everyone would back stab each other are actually the ones most likely to do it. Perry stood out as someone who believes in the good character of his buddies in the house and in doing so, shows his own good character as well.

Ronnie appeared to be particularly negative about Shannon Pallay. It's strange how much air time the show gives to negative comments about her. Couple that with her badmouthing of others and the quarrels she gets into with Perry and it all does not bode well for her if she should be up for the vote. Her unpopularity ranking is likely to be high.

The photo assignment this week was "fashion on film", where the models would do a video catalog for clothing. Reminds me of the Shai Wear video of several years ago, which had two guys going all the way (but starting out dressed in the seller's clothing). Something like that would be perfect for Ronnie (with Ben), not so perfect for Ben (with Ronnie). When the director asked to see a scene with a pair of lovers, Ben sort of volunteered to try it with Ronnie. While virginous Holly Kiser covered her eyes, Bronnie went at it. Ronnie went into a dream-like state of ecstasy while Ben did foreplay for a standard prison rape. My thought was that this was not a act of love but rather an expression of power. But I'm sure the difference would not have mattered to Ronnie during that brief moment of Southern fried simulated sentiment.

The director asked Perry to do a look expressing being jealous over another guy. If only he could have been told about girlfriend Amanda Pagel and Adnan Ghalib. Then he could have really showed it with no effort at all. At the end of the episode Perry actually got a call from Amanda, who only said that she was part of big celebrity story but wouldn't or couldn't tell Perry anything about it. If I were her, I wouldn't care how much I was pushed into it, I still wouldn't have called my boyfriend and told him something so pointless and unnecessary.

Jennifer Starr took the models to Bloomigdale's, where they met its Fashion Director, Stephanie Solomon. Stephanie said the store's brand identity was energy, glamor, and fun. I think she meant tired, overpriced, and boring. There is no glamor in the Macy's universe.

The models got to pick out outfits and then go sell the clothes a lunch audience of loyal customers. Ben wasn't allowed to do it because of his bad attitude. He said he didn't like selling clothes. Can someone please explain why Ben is even in a competition to be a model? Did no one explain to him the central concept that the clothes are the stars and having models in them is only optional? Maybe Ronnie could explain it. He really put himself out there with the male shoppers. Stephanie correctly pointed out that he was en-gay-ging.

The catwalk assignment was "timeless elegance". Boring. Ronnie did his waddle walk on his first try, which is not a good look. He did much better on his second walk, although his did that droopy thing with his face muscles and open mouth.

Niki Taylor had a birthday party during this episode and the boys decided to create and sing a song for her as a present. It was cruel to make her listen to it but it was just. The sound of that cacophony was suitable revenge for the guys who have had to listen to her meaningless drivel.

Digest Of Week Ending 03-07-08

Sunday, March 2. This Week With George Stephanopoulus. 60 Minutes. I'm not sure how much bias has been shown before by the national media for either of the two Democrat candidates for President, but now it really seems to me that the media is going all out to help prop up Hillary Clinton. It's hard to say whether it is based on a desire to keep the competition alive or because the New York and Washington based media powers-that-be are showing their hand of who they want to win. Either way, they should just butt out and let the voters decide.

Big Brother 9. I had to look at the James Zinkand adult video on the internet to see the mutual BJ scene. You need to have a strong stomach because it is as creepy as he is.

Beverly Hillbillies. The Rasslin' Clampitts beat the Boston Strong-girl and her family. Classic.

Quest For The Lost Ark. Archeologists show that they are willing to accept any theory, anything, as long as it isn't what the Bible says it is. If you want to know what the Ark looked like, just open the Bible and read it. The description is very explicit and there is no reason to think that it is inaccurate on this point.

Monday, March 3. The Royal Family. It's good to have these backstage views of the Royals to show that they are not, as Prince Charles stated that people might otherwise believe, aliens from another planet. I liked that the Queen was firm on her boundaries with Annie Leibovitz (who still took fantastic photos anyway). I don't like bossy photographers.

Tuesday, March 4. Lots of primary election stuff on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. I can't say I was happy with the results.

Big Brother 9. Matt McDonald doesn't like Natalie Cunial chasing after him. She provided him sexual relief on camera because she wants to satisfy her man. She needs to get some self-respect. Their relationship is shaping into a Fatal Attraction: "I'm not going to be ignored, Mattie!" BTW, Joshuah is kind of insane.

Wednesday, March 5. Big Brother 9. Thank goodness that it's back to the original format, with the players playing individually. It might actually become enjoyable to watch the rest of the season.

Moment Of Truth. Bring on the bread and circuses. The end of civilization has begun.

Project Runway. Christian Siriano was the right winner among the final three. It was pretty clear throughout the season that he was the one to beat.

Gauntlet III. It was so sad to see Ryan Kehoe leave. It looked like he put up a good attempt with Nehemiah in the Gauntlet. I really don't see any reason to watch any more of the Veterans' march to victory with Ryan gone.

Thursday, March 6. The Apprentice. The celebrities got to meet Donald Trump's wife Melania and son Baron. Ivanka and Don were there and they looked like they wished they could say "You're fired" to the little half-sibling upstart competitor. The celebrities had to sell art and I agree with Trace Adkins that some of it looks like a three year old threw up on a canvas. In the boardroom I didn't appreciate Trump and Omarosa's problems with gay people. It think it should have been edited out.

Friday, March 7. 20/20 A woman had a medical condition that caused her to smell like a fish. I thought that was a condition that all women had.

Saturday, March 8. Saturday Night Live. Amy Poehler's imatation of Christian Siriano was tranny fierce!

American Idol: The Top 12

3-4-08. Each of the guys did a video clip describing their most embarrassing moment. David Hernandez, the talented clothes-free dancer for a discerning male clientele, said his most embarrassing moment was finding out he had something hanging out of his nose during a photo shoot. I would have thought the most embarrassing moment would have been having the entire country finding out about his doing $40 lap dances. I guess we all get embarrassed by different things. Actually the nose thing kind of killed the excitement of the stripping thing. Fortunately with a lap dance I would be in a position where I wouldn't have to see what's coming out of his nose.

Luke Menard sang "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go". His voice is so thin. I agree with Simon that Luke's singing voice is weak and "girly". He can't make it to the top 12.

David Archuleta, the cute little baby gnome, sang "Another Day In Paradise". He may be able to sell more CDs than Justin Timberlake someday. He certainly sounds a lot better than JT. Again, it is clear that the contest is over. Just look at the idol forums. The "Archies" rule.

Danny Noriega sang "Tainted Love". I've always disliked that song. I don't know why anybody likes it. I loved it when Ryan Seacrest told him that he hadn't noticed Danny's purple streaks in his hair and Danny replied "uh-huh". Danny wasn't believing it.

David Hernandez started out strong with "It's All Coming Back To Me Now". He kind of got out of tune in the middle and it was really noticeable on the long notes. A Celine Dion is next to impossible for anybody to do and a man doing it is nigh on impossible. So for David to do what he did was really fantastic. He deserves to be in the top 12. Randy said, "You got that big ol - voice." Paula said, "You've got some of the best - vocals." Are these euphemisms for his zippered prize package? Don't know.

Michael Johns sang "Don't You (Forget About Me). He's like the drunk at a party who is singing with the stereo right before he pukes and passes out. Not an Idol winner. I fast forwarded through David Cook - he's creepy, as is Jason Castro. His clods remind me of what our old family dog would get in his hair that we had to cut out. Chikezie is pretty good but his style isn't in style.

3-06-08. Danny Noriega didn't deserve to be voted out. His problem was that his fans are probably the same set that would be voting for David Hernandez and David Archuleta. The fans only have so much time to call in and they spent it on the Davids. Speaking of Hernandez, he was pretty animated on Thursday. Maybe we will get to see a pole dance after all.

Exclusive Interview - Brian Kehoe

Ever since Brian Kehoe captured the camera and the viewers' attention when he first appeared in season two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, he has been an essential star of the series and a reason for people to keep watching to see in what new hijinks the mischievous model will be involved. Kehoe sometimes pushes Janice's buttons, but it just gives her a chance to practice her tough love therapy on him. She appreciates that Kehoe is a top level model who can give the clients exceptional results.

I'm fortunate to be able share with everyone the responses that super fan-friendly Kehoe has graciously provided to some questions I posed to him to help his fans learn a little more about him. He talks about college, career, and cohorts, and what he'd do if HE had the power with Janice.

For those of us far from Nevada, tell us what it's like to be from Reno.

Reno is the most amazing city to grow up in because of the way you know know so many people, yet there are new faces to see everyday! It really is the "Biggest Little City"! I'd like to give a shout to how much I miss the Kalifornia Jean Bar's hospitality and complimentary wine as I shopped, My Favorite Muffin's free wi-fi, and makin' moves at the "Lodo Loft Starbucks" with B. and Naldi. Holler No-Town! Ha-ha!

I'm guessing you had a lot of fun in your fraternity in college. What was the best part of the experience for you and why would you suggest that someone join one?

The Sigma Nu chapter at the University of Nevada absolutely ran, and still does run the campus! The best part for me was the social outlet I was able to have, that non-Greeks didn't! The biggest misconception of joining a fraternity is that you pay for your friends. I tell people this, a fraternity is a business and a business has to run. The dues we paid each month go to different things the house needs to manage aka food, power for the house, and funds for different things. I highly suggest anyone who goes to college to pledge a house. It will bring advantages to your life that would not otherwise receive!

What did you study in college and why did it interest you?

I thought at first I wanted to be an educator in secondary schools, but soon realized I would need a much higher paying job. I began taking business classes which also didn't interest me too much. Thank god for modeling!

What would be your second choice for a career?

If money weren't an issue, I would still love to teach and coach high school. If it were an issue, I've always had an interest in law. I think it would be cool to walk into a courtroom wearing a $3,000 Versace suit, slap my briefcase down on the table and just get right into debating my case. Hah!

Besides you, I also focused on Danny Nunez and J.P. Calderon this season. Tell me what you think about those two.

Danny and JP are complete a**holes and I can't stand either one of them. Just kidding! I caught your attention though, right? I love them both. If our ship was sinking, they are 2 people I would definitely save. JP is an amazing model and taking a great pic is so natural for him, and Danny has an amazing career ahead of him!

You said in a recent interview that of the male models in the agency, you liked Chris Jones. What is something about him that you like?

When Chris and I hang out, we both really let our guard down and act like little kids. We're both just real goofy and we bring it out in each other. Chris also went to college so we have a lot in common. It's rare to meet other models who attended college first, so when I meet one who did, I often gravitate towards them.

What's been your favorite modeling assignment to date?

There wasn't very much airtime on this, but the Dragonfly "dead rockstar" shoot where I played Sid Vicious was FUN!! Portraying a different character is always an awesome part of the job, but to top it off there were 12 of the models from the agency making it an amazing bonding session by the end of the day. I really got to know some of the new models that day.

You have no hesitancy about getting naked in front of people. Why is that?

1) I think when a person is completely comfortable with themselves, nudity is not a big issue and
2) I don't think we models have a choice sometimes when it comes
to Janice (ha-ha).

You got in trouble with Janice several times during season three (the slapping incident, the Miami cocktail party, the Aussie Bum incident). Why do you think you get in trouble like this and did you learn anything from it?

I think me getting into trouble so much has to do with me trying to break the industry into Kehoe, when it is I who needs to break into the industry if that makes any sense. Yes, I learned quite a bit and hope to showcase a more mature and responsible self on Season 4.

If you had the power to hypnotize Janice for an hour so that she would do anything you told her to do, what would you make her do?

"Janice, undress yourself and make me breakfast!" Hahaha! I'm only half kidding, I have some insane sexual attraction towards my agent, but who doesn't? I think I've heard every guy model at one point or another (even the gays) say they would have sex with her. But in all honesty, I would love to have her tell me about the craziest parties, and the most insane people she hung out with back in the day. To see Janice Dickinson in a shoot back in the day would be an honor.

If you could have the superpower of flying, reading minds, or being invisible, which would you choose?

FLYING! No more planning my daily errands around traffic!

Tell me something that has really scared you at any time in your life.

Those creepy little guys who slide passed you on their knees at Knott's Scary Farm. If you're ever in the Los Angeles area during October, you MUST go!

What famous person would you most like to meet?

Michael Jordan

My most popular page since the start of this season of JDMA is "Brian Kehoe and a Dick in a Box". If you were to ever give someone one, could I at least have the packing material?

Better - I'll mail you the boxers I'm wearing right now.

MMAS: The Shining Of Ben DiChiara

In episode eight of Make Me A Supermodel, this video arrangement in gray and black took a dark turn on a weekend retreat where the cold and isolation played havoc with the models' minds and bodies.

The show started where it always seems to start, in Ben DiChiara and Ronnie Kroell's bedroom. Ronnie, despite being from Chicago, seemed amazed to see snow outside. Ben was less excited. As a non-sequitur, Ronnie did his weekly predator move on Ben, this time asking if he could kiss him. Gross.

As predicted, Jacki Hydock got the boot and not surprisingly, she was surprised. To clue the models in, the viewers should be allowed to vote on a reason to explain their action, like a) because she is bitch, 2) because she is full of herself, 3) because she badmouths people, 4) because she badmouths Perry, or 5) all of the above. Oh, and because she was up against two popular men.

Back at the townhouse the other models paraded their ignorance of the game with clueless discussions of who will be returning and why. Delusional Shannon Pallay believed that the results would have some connection with the judges' comments, so she was sure that Perry Ullmann would be leaving. Conniving Ronnie pinned his hopes of getting rid of arch-rival Perry on a fantasy that Perry turns a lot of people off. Frankie Godoy rightfully set Ronnie straight by refuting that.

Frankie and Perry return and soon the models learned that they would be going on a winter weekend out of the city. The destination was a ski resort where they would face their next photo assignment: "snow motion". They had to be in motion across the snow as their photos were taken. The photographer Dennis was so much better than the one the previous week. Dennis actually worked with the models and guided them into the shots he wanted rather than just berate them as the water tank photographer did.

Perry and Ronnie were paired up and that was surely a match made in Hell from Ronnie's point of view. Ronnie is smart enough to know the Perry is the one to beat him and the idea of helping Perry get a good shot must have been appalling to him. Strangely, they actually looked good together. I loved the clothes they were wearing. That winter vintage, well-to-do, collegiate look is fabulous.

Frankie was selected as the worst model on the shoot, so his punishment was to return to the townhouse alone while the others got to stay in a cabin for the weekend. Frankie has an unusual smile that can look goofy and the photographer emphasized this flaw as a reason for picking him.

In maybe the most bizarre situation of the series, the other models may have felt that they had become guests at the Overlook Hotel as Ben began to exhibit severe psychological problems. On their second day at the resort, they were woken up by their physical trainer who had them split into two teams and do tasks as a competition between them. As Ben was losing the challenges and his mind, he began to eerily repeat over and over the statement that Casey and Ronnie were gay. Clearly, all work and no play makes Ben a really f***ed up sociopath.

The models return to the city and Casey and Ronnie confront Ben about his mental instability. Ben calmly listened the way a killer who has his family in his freezer would answer a knock on his door from the police. Chilling. Even weirder was Ronnie's blanket absolution of Ben's anti-social behavior. There can be no excuse and no forgiveness for such behavior. Ben should have been thrown off the show.

The catwalk assignment was to do three poses on a rotating platform while modeling Ben Sherman. Rotating platform? Shades of Brett Novek's circle of death on AMSM. No one did really bad on it but coupled with the photos, Frankie, Ben, and Casey ended up in the bottom three. I guess the judges finally wised up that they were going to be out of women if they didn't put up three guys against each other.

Digest Of Week Ending 2-29-08

Sunday, 2/24, Academy Awards. Like a lot of other people, my anticipation for seeing it this year was at a meh level. I watched it but didn't pay too much attention to it. I didn't even realize that they had given out the award for best actor and actress until I heard the Best Picture announcement (always the last award). I would like to have seen the song "So Close" from the movieEnchanted win the Oscar for Best Song. I had not seen the movie and had never heard the song before, but I loved it after hearing it for the first time on the telecast. You have to love Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz. The soundtrack CD for Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of my favorites. And who doesn't love Menken's "A Whole New World" (with Tim Rice). I hope the Academy doesn't think that Menken's music is old fashioned. It's classic.

Monday, 2/25. A Raisin in the Sun. It was too jarring to see Phylicia Rashad play a domestic. The performance just didn't seem believable. It was as if Lena were secretly a corporate attorney pretending to be poor. Sean Combs is scary in widescreen high-def. He's not an attractive man. His face is oddly shaped and there is a void where his chin should be. Also, it would be better if her were subtitled since he doesn't always speak clearly. His performance was especially weak compared to the professional actors. It was like the rest of the cast was performing with him being a stand-in, reading the lines in place of whoever the real actor was suppose to be. Overall, this production was quite bad in comparison with the 1961 movie. The producers must have said, "We have Phylicia, Sean and John Stamos, who cares about direction?" It's sad to think that many people who have not seen the original will never know how good a play this really is.

Tuesday, 2/26. Big Brother. This season is basically unwatchable so I just fast forward through it. With the couples, it's not BB, it's just a new show based on it. Josh is okay, although pudgy. I'd say my favorite is Alex Coladonato. He just needs a nose job.

American Idol. Luke Menard should not sing Queen songs. He is totally missing the richness of Freddie Mercury's vocals singing "Killer Queen". Speaking of queens, I like Danny Noriega. He's sassy. David Hernandez is cute and I see in the news that he apparently worked at a gay bar. Hearing David Archuleta sing you have to wonder what the point of continuing the contest is. He's got it in the bag.

Wednesday, 2/27. Project Runway. It was sad to see Chris go. I will miss his laugh. I thought his creativity should have won out over Rami.

Big Brother. This was the second bad result of the night. Alex was the person I liked on the show.

The Gauntlet III. Ryan Kehoe was again made safe by the Veterans team. All is well.

Thursday, 2/28. American Idol. I was fine with seeing Jason Yeager leaving. He's like a very average suburban guy who thinks that he can just poof his hair up and dye a front shock of it blond and suddenly be a rock star, something that he clearly is not nor will ever be.

Friday, 2/29. Bill O'Reilly. A few minutes of substitute host Laura Ingraham is all that I could take. She seems to me to be a cold-hearted, frigid bitch that gives an even worse name to bleach blond bimbos.