Digest Of Week Ending 03-28-08

Sunday, March 23. Big Brother 9. James Zinkand's need for revenge is way over the top. if the producers gave him bricks and mortar he would probably try to seal his enemies in their room, ala "The Cask of Amontillado". Unfortunately for him, his enemies will not be taken advantage of so easily.

Natalie Cunial said she was sad to see her "soul mate" leave. As much as I didn't care for Matt, I am really starting to be concerned for his safety when the show ends. He's going to find a guinea pig in the cooking pot. "Crazy" Natalie said her bible gives her guidance. I wonder what verse guided her to give Matt a bj under the covers? She was also acting like she had something to do with Adam nominating James and Chelsia Hart. I am reminded that Joshuah Welch had said that the guinea pigs didn't have the brain capacity to understand the English that was Sharon Obermueller was speaking to them. Well, like the guinea pigs, Natalie doesn't have in my opinion the brain capacity to have caused these nominations or any other scheme.

Joshuah said he likes jabbing Sheila Kennedy to irritate her. I rather just see him poke her repeatedly with a sharp stick.

Tuesday, March 25. American Idol. Ramiele Malubay mentioned singing karaoke at parties. Mercifully, I have heard few karaoke singers sing as bad as her. How many drinks would you need before you were soused enough to think that she was in tune? There's no way she was better than Amanda Overmyer or David Hernandez and she needs to be tossed out on her tin ear. Simon said Jason Castro was too laid back. Wasn't Jason just doing an impression of an extreme stoner? Maybe its for real. I don't know. Michael Johns did Queen again. Oh no, no, no. There will ever be only one Freddie Mercury and any imitation will only pale in comparison. Carly Smithson sang "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". There is only one just response to her performance: a full force, open palm slap across the face from Bonnie Tyler. David Archuleta sang amazingly well again, although I agree that his song selection was not good for this kind of show. Simon said it was the kind of song you would hear at a theme park with animated characters all around. Doesn't that fit? Isn't David an animated character? Or maybe just a charm in search of a bracelet.

The most excruciating performance of the evening was Kristy Lee Cook. They needed a stage hand to stand next to her blowing on a pitch pipe to remind her of how far off she was. If you have an ear for music you know how painful it is to listen to something like this. Your hands instinctively fly up to protect your ears.

Big Brother 9. I am decidedly with the Joshuah, Sharon, Chelsia and James clique. I hate Natalie and I hate Sheila. When the four who were going to see the movie 21 went through their popcorn looking for the trip ticket, Chelsia dumped her popcorn on the floor and found the ticket. Natalie said she was going to eat the popcorn off the floor and sulk. I had already assumed Natalie was the kind of person that would eat off of the floor.

Wednesday, March 26. Big Brother 9. Sharon letting herself be put up is so risky. I hope the pawn move finally works. Between Sharon and Chelsia, I think Chelsia deserves more to be voted out. She was the person responsible for the slag heap Shelia turning away from the James and Joshuah group. Still, I think Chelsia's aggression in this episode was some of the best I have ever seen, although it is way too easy to mock Natalie. James called Chelsia a huge raging bitch, but James has been the biggest raging bitch in the game. Chelsia said Sheila will be rode hard and put away wet. Ewww! In the end, what a horrible sick feeling in the stomach to see Natalie get HOH.

Thursday, March 27. The Celebrity Apprentice. What a hilarious mockery of the Backstreet Boys. What nitwits would ask for black fingernail polish and wheat grass juice when they know it will all be televised? I kind of wished Trace Adkins would have won. In general, he seemed like a nice guy.

Friday, March 28. 20/20. There was a segment on children exhibiting gay traits early in life. It doesn't take a scientist to know that a boy that wants a Barbie is on an unalterable straight path to a place that isn't straight. Believe me, I know.

MMAS: The Models In Their Element

In episode eleven of Make Me A Supermodel, it was all about creating a close finish and a level playing field for the final four models. During the run of the series, the judges had repeatedly placed Ben DiChiara and Ronnie Kroell in the bottom three, while heaping praises upon Perry Ullmann and Holly Kiser. To even things out between the four of them going into the final viewer vote, the show made sure that they gave Ben and Ronnie significant advantages in the last competitive episode while they gave Holly and Perry whatever handicaps they could while trying to keep some degree of plausible deniability. The dumb thing about that is that Bravo is well aware of the Bronnie factor that had already brought R & B to the end past some better models, and so Bravo/Tiger Aspect Productions should have known that no other advantage was needed.

First they had to complete the burial ceremony of Shannon Pallay, who was done in by the combination of self-inflicted wounds and the mean hatchet-job done on her in the show's video editing room the week before. At the end of the last episode she and Ronnie were put up for the elimination vote. Shannon of course didn't know what bad things were ending up on television, so she took false hope in a rational comparison of her previous success to Ronnie's repeated selection as one of the worst models. Ronnie, on the other hand, buoyed by previous reprieves granted by the audience (and perhaps a lot whistling in the dark), confidently predicted his return to the townhouse. He said it would be a slap in the face of America to think otherwise. Actually, it was a slap in the face of America to think that America would think he was better than Shannon. It turned out to be a slap that Bravo America deserved as it gave Ronnie one more chance to be more than a Big Lots ad-quality model.

Back at the townhouse, Perry and Holly discussed who would be returning. Holly pointed out how much better Shannon had been doing than Ronnie. Ben used that as an invitation to be disrespectful to Holly, following an unpleasant pattern of being disrespectful to women, but Holly was too lady-like to let it get to her.

There was a brief appearance by Naomi Campbell. I guess there are female supermodels also.

The models went to their last photo shoot and here is where the unequal treatment of the models occurred. To allow America to carefully and fairly compare the work of the models, they should have all done something very similar that could have shown how one of them could do it better than the others. Instead, using a theme of the four classic elements of air, fire, water, and earth, the models were placed in situations that were decidedly dissimilar and inherently unfair.

All season it had been stressed how important facial expressions are and for three of the models, they were during this shoot. Ben, on the other hand, got fabric draped over his head (and unclothed body) to hide whichever of his two looks he might have been expressing at that moment. How is that fair? The intent of his photos was just to excite people by showing him naked. It really was the equivalent of putting a paper bag over his head and asking the public, "Would you be willing to do him now?"

Ronnie was dressed and intricately made-up in an interesting and sensual way while Holly was forced to lie on the ground with her head on fire and Perry got his teeth blackened and made into a drooling eunuch. The result was to make Perry and Holly look strongly less attractive than Ben and Ronnie this week. I can appreciate Bravo's catering to a core demographic by trying to hand it's gay viewers a Ben or Ronnie victory, but I think they went too far with it.

The fun part of the episode was the appearance of Project Runway's Christian Siriano, who was there to act a runway coach. Who knew he had this whole other talent? His advice was really solid.

The models each did three outfits for the runway and the results really summarized well the entirety of the season. It was clear that as a professional model, Perry is the top. Holly has a beautiful face, but some body issues when she has to show too much skin. Ben has some quality attributes and should be able to use modeling as way to significantly supplement his income. Ronnie, with his lumbering and back leaning walk, his Chicago pose #1, and his paralyzed expression, is a caricature.

Any of the four models could win this popularity contest, although I still hope it will end up going to the best model. The only one that would make me sad if he won is Ronnie. As the weeks have gone by, I have increasingly become disdainful of the things he says, the way he models, and the way he has been saved even though the professional judges have four times said he was one of the worst models in the competition. Ronnie said he has been trying to break into the industry for ten years. There has to come a time when you acknowledge that your dream isn't going to happen. To paraphrase a quote from Seinfeld, he should quit through the traditional route. Years of rejection and failure until he's spit out the bottom of the p orn industry.

Digest Of Week Ending 03-21-08

Sunday, March 16. 60 Minutes. One of the segments was on sleep deprivation, something I know too well from staying up writing this crap instead of going to bed. I know I need to sleep more and be online less. I just need some internet gum or an internet patch to get me over this addiction.

Big Brother 9. I was sweating it out, waiting to see if James Zinkand or Natalie Cunial would get HOH. Thank goodness it was James. Anything that ends up hurting Matt McDonald is good to me. Even though James made a deal with Natalie not to put up her or Matt, hopefully he will at least back door Mattie. I don't like the way Matt uses what may be an emotionally damaged person. James kept his word, putting up the ancient skank Sheila Kennedy and the double-crossing Ryan. Obviously Nat and Matt would have been my first choice but these are my second.

Monday, March 17. Ellen. I had to watch David Hernandez' appearance. I was sad to see him leave American Idol, but hearing him sing on Ellen made me realize he probably isn't quite ready yet for a competition with live performances and also realize that yelling on pitch can be overdone.

Tuesday, March 18. American Idol. I couldn't believe it but David Archuleta actually brought tears to my eyes with his performance of "Long And Winding Road". I am so ready to buy his CD right now.

Big Brother 9. It was sickening to see Matt act like he cared about Natalie. That sentiment should last about 48 hours, tops. It was also nauseating to see Sheila apologizing to Adam Jasinski for the awful way she treated him early on, not that I care now. I was too busy counting the wrinkle rings on her neck.

Wednesday, March 19. Survivor. It was stated that given a chance, Erik Reichenbach would wed Ozzy Lusth. Who wouldn't? Well, maybe just long enough for the honeymoon sex. I think irreconcilable differences would be inevitable after that.

Big Brother 9. Thank goodness Matt is out. He was strutting and bragging last week when he thought he had bested Joshuah Welch. Now he has gotten his comeuppance. The buzzard Sheila tried to stir up trouble again and she needs to go. Dumb HOH Adam will probably keep her despite all the terrible things she said about him at the beginning of the season.

American Idol. It occurred to me that David Archuleta and Ramiele Malubayr are just like human beings, only smaller. Once again the person going home was not the worst. In case anybody wonders, Amanda Overmyer does sound like a lot of people from Indiana.

The Tonight Show. Ryan Phillippe is still hot. I liked the stretchy slacks he was wearing but the severe crotch seam seemed to bifurcate his heavy equipment area. It looked painful although it did show that he dressed on the left.

Thursday, March 20. Celebrity Apprentice. I've hated this celebrity version of the series, but once I started it I felt like I needed to finish it. This episode at least had something redeeming in it. It was hilarious to see Trace Adkins, an actual star, trying to deal with the demands of the has-been Backstreet Boys, who were supposed to be doing something for charity. If they wanted special drinks and treats they should have brought their own instead of having a rider filled with ridiculous items that would only be appropriate for a musical group that people still remember (which is not them).

Friday, March 21. Free Radio on VH1. I gave this show a chance because it stars Lance Krall, who I liked as "Kip" on The Joe Schmo Show. I was disappointed to find out how dumb this show is. I'm sure some people will find it funny, but I think Lance should go back to being a gay Cuban.

20/20. The show was devoted to the subject of prostitution. Host Diane Sawyer at least admitted that there are male prostitutes but said the show would only focus on females. It's easier to preach a moral message when the subjects are women. Speaking of looking like a tired old hooker, Diane Sawyer needs to get more sleep.

MMAS: Night Walk

In episode ten of Make Me A Supermodel, it was all about using goth fashion as a backdrop for the murder of Shannon Pallay's future on the show. While some of it was self-inflicted, there was definitely a strong effort by the show's editors to set her up for defeat. She would have had a hard time anyway being up against some of the more popular players in the game, but just to be sure, TPTB gave her the coup de grace.

With the bottom three from the week before being Ben DiChiara, Ronnie Kroell and Casey Skinner, it was pretty clear that Casey would be the one going home. A person like him is not going to be quite as popular as a Ben or a Ronnie would be. It is not hard to predict the relative popularity of the models when you consider the likely demographics of the audience and what type of characters will be regarded as more favorable by them. As everyone knows, this show is a popularity contest, and the voting public are not going to start basing their votes on merit yet. I hope in the final vote that people will base their selection on who is the best model, but I understand that everyone first wants to get their favorite into the last group. Therefore, no matter what they may do badly in front of the camera or on the catwalk, and no matter how much the judges point out that they are not the best models, Ben and Ronnie are going to be carried to the finals by their fans.

When Ben and Ronnie returned to the townhouse, the fake welcome home ceremony occurred as always, followed by the models' real reactions spoken to the camera or to each other. In this case, Holly told Shannon that she had wished that Ronnie would have gone home because "he's really getting attitude." She's just too polite to say that Ronnie is an ass and maybe slightly retarded. The judges have patiently been telling Ronnie week after week as they put him in the bottom three that he is not supermodel material, but he doesn't seem to get the message. Instead he misinterprets Bravo's big ol' gay audience's voting to save him as some educated determination that he has what it takes.

I for one think that bad character and personality can negate what otherwise might be an attractive appearance. Ronnie's manipulative methods of trying to turn the models against each other and his baseless cocky attitude leave me cold. Besides that, Ronnie doesn't even start off with a foundation of having good looks. I know that there are some people who say he is good looking and I know that what appeals to one person can be greatly different than what does to someone else, but compare him with any professional model that is widely viewed as good looking and you should be able to see what Ronnie lacks. Take your favorite photo of him and put it next to a photo of, say, Chad White. Night and day.

The models found out that they were going to New Orleans. The models were pretty excited but Perry Ullmann's happiness was short-lived as Tyson Beckford pulled him aside to show him the National Enquirer article about his girlfriend, Amanda Pagel. It seemed to be a cheap trick to capitalize on someone's personal misfortune and it shouldn't have been put on the air.

The models travel to the Big Easy and in their hotel rooms they find gift baskets. Ronnie had a voodoo doll in his and not surprisingly tried to use it to curse Perry and Ben. Perry goes to bed thinking about how he is now alone and that he intends to "come with a vengeance". Not sure why the editors showed him stroking his private area while that comment was played on the voice-over.

For the photo assignment, the models went to Lafayette Cemetery No. 1, where they got dressed and made-up full goth. As usual Perry and Holly looked the best in the clothes, but since one of Ben's two looks is "scary", he took a good photo also.

It was in the cemetery that it became crystal clear that the show's editors had decided to do a major offensive to get rid of Shannon. Usually, if there is hint of bias in a show, it is so subtle or so ambiguous that it can be ignored. In this case it was very blatant and objectively measurable. Play back the episode and count the anti-Shannon comments and/or use a stopwatch to measure how much air time was given to bashing her. There are several possible theories for why they would do this, but my guess is that TPTB had decided that Holly is the most deserving to win. The best way to ensure that is to make sure that she is the only female in the finals. That way all the votes for a woman would go to her, while the boy votes would be split between the three remaining guys.

While in New Orleans the models did some home building for hurricane victims. Holly showed what a great person she is with the way that she became emotionally distraught by the suffering of others. Ronnie joked about using power tools and how they were not like the ones in his bedroom.

Back in New York, the models did their catwalk assignment, which was "goth drama". Collectively, the models had to express a story that fit the genre. Holly is far and away the best actress and she really shined in it. Shannon was the worst, which made all of the negative comments about her that were intended to get rid of her seem really like overkill. Shannon and Ronnie were clearly the worst performers and accordingly they ended up in the bottom two and subject to the mercy of the public.

Digest Of Week Ending 03-14-08

Saturday, March 8. Mad TV. It was a clip show of past sketches, which was a reminder to me of how good the show was before it was hijacked by Bobby Lee. His characters are so unfunny and it is ridiculous to make almost every sketch something about Asians just to suit him. Is he getting all the airtime by blackmailing someone or is it because he works cheap? Mad TV has a history of losing the actors that get too popular. Presumably they want more money than the show is willing to pay.

Sunday, March 9. 60 Minutes. There was a segment about two lawyers that deliberately kept a secret for 26 years that allowed an innocent man to stay in prison. It shows how evil you have to be to be a lawyer. Hopefully something in this life will give them a taste of the cruelty that they inflicted and may the furnace of Hell give them both the eternity of unimaginable pain they deserve.

Big Brother 9. I could have done without seeing Joshuah Welch's morning routine of shaking his spare tire. He is an interesting character but he seems to be following the Dustin Erikstrup path to eviction. He needs not to show himself as a power center. Also, I don't think it was fair that the meeting of the "bros" didn't include the 'mo. Sad note: the house stalker Natalie Cunial is so embarrassingly stupid, counting 27 letters in the alphabet by including the "and" between "Y" and "Z".

Monday, March 10. There wasn't much on so I just watched the news channels to see the election stuff.

Tuesday, March 11. American Idol. It was nice to see an update to the set and the opening animation but what really needs to be replaced is Ryan Seacrest's "This -- is American Idol." I don't like the way Ryan talks anyway, and that line and the way he contorts his mouth to say it is like nails on the chalkboard. Thank goodness for fast-forward. David Hernandez spoke about working at a pizza parlor. Pizza Boy, He Delivers. He worked the stage, showing himself as a charming performer. Overall though, it was boring. David Archuleta was as cute as ever, but his performance was not good at all. It contained several major flaws.

Big Brother 9. Sheila Kennedy received the resurrected red unitard from season 8. As I mentioned last year, most people would rather have seen the red unitard as one of the two finalists that season instead of both of the Donatos. Not sure why "Mrs. Robinson" was played as Sheila put it on. Anne Bancroft was sexy but Sheila is a scag.

Wednesday, March 12. Big Brother 9. Natalie acts like a psycho slut, once again showing the inadequacy of the psychological testing of show applicants. I had hoped that Alex Coladonato would come back to the house but I was unhappy to hear him talk about supporting Matt Mcdonald. Matt is a terrible person for several reasons. He uses a mentally unbalanced person for sexual and personal gain and he called Joshuah a bad word. I was so glad that the houseguests voted back James Zinkand (since it would screw over Matt a little). Julie Chen asked who looked better in the red unitard, Sheila or Jen. How could anyone say that the old Medusa/sea hag hybrid Sheila could look better than Jen?

American Idol. It was so sad seeing Jim Carrey whoring himself by wearing an elephant costume for Horton Hears A Who. How the mighty have fallen. It was even worse to see AI take their finalist slaves to shill for the movie while wearing mini elephant ears. David Archuleta, little baby gnome, said how glad he was to meet Jim Carrey because he was one of David's favorite actors. I didn't realize David had progressed past cartoons yet. David Hernandez ended up in the bottom three, but his performance was pretty bad (both nights). I was sick to my stomach that he left. He has lots of charisma and could have done very well.

Thursday, March 13. Celebrity Apprentice. Why am I still watching this? I don't care about any of the "celebrities" and the tasks are stupid. They sold $2 sandwiches at Quiznos. Now if the chain would actually sell sandwiches for $2 I would eat there at lot because I like their food. I think their prices are a little too high for fast food.

Friday, March 14. 20/20. There was an episode about age of consent laws. My view is that when both partners are at puberty or beyond, it is ridiculous to treat one as a victim and one a perpetrator. At whatever age it is illegal to engage in sex, the law should apply to both partners equally. The teenage partner in the Beltway Sniping case was treated as an adult defendant even though his partner was an adult. Right now a teenager can willingly choose to commit murder of innocent people, but cannot choose to get busy.

The Return of Jesse Brune

The third season of Work Out is beginning and Bravo was nice enough to let us stretch our interest with a warm up show before the exercising and the drama got too hot and heavy. The pre-season opener gave us a look back on what has transpired so far in Jackie Warner's fitness business and gave us a glimpse of what is to come in this show's junior season. There was a lot of attention paid to introducing several new trainers that will be joining the cast, but all that really mattered to me was to see Jesse Brune, the irrepressible and terribly lovable co-star of the show, who says whatever he thinks and brings most of the wit and wisdom to the production.

Jackie states that she and Jesse had some problems in the past because she thought he was a little bitchy and up in everybody else's business. I say, "Yay, Jesse!" If there weren't any people with those attributes, there wouldn't be anybody to write blogs like this one. Jackie warned that Jesse has mellowed out a lot. That didn't sound so good, but the quick clips that followed her statement showed that Jesse is still the quintessential gay buddy that everybody should want to have. ("Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink!") Lord love him. I want to spend a day at a theme park with him, talking about everything and everyone.


Jesse has lost some weight and it was important to him so that is what matters. To me he is adorable either way.

There are two new male trainers worth mentioning: Greg Plitt and JD Jordan. The women of the crew seemed to have a lot of interest in Greg, but I'm not feeling it. I'm just not interested in big muscle men. JD is a massage therapist. As a gay man, he will help keep the Bravo demographic watching.

The Archuleta Effect On Hernandez

Singing sensation David Hernandez was the first of the 12 American Idol finalists to go home and it had nothing to with a previous job as a dancer at gay club. Hernandez was adversely affected by the well-known phenomenon of voting pattern peculiarities that have famously put out talented singers before those decidedly less so. Specifically it has to do with sub-groups of the viewing audience splitting or focusing their votes depending on the events of the week. In this case it wasn't that Hernandez' fan base thought any less of him this week than before, but rather that they were more concerned with saving cute little baby gnome, David Archuleta.

Many viewers, especially at this early stage, have several contestants that they like. When it comes time to vote, a viewer has to decide whether to split their multiple votes for all their favorites or focus on just one. The decision may be based on which one of their favorites really blew them away that week, or maybe on which one they think really needs their help in order to be saved after a bad performance. The problem is that if enough voters happen to be like minded one week they may overvote on one of the worthy few while leaving the others so undervoted that one of the best singers gets removed too early.

This kind of situation is particularly a problem within the natural subsets of singers that form because they either are similar in style or have largely overlapping fan bases. Consider the enormously talented set of Fantasia Barrino, LaToya London and Jennifer Hudson, who all ended up in the bottom three during season three. The peculiarity that occurred that week was that their mutual fans split their votes so evenly that all three were at the bottom while the focused voting on the less worthy singers kept those performers safe. If anyone still has doubt about the effect of split and focused voting, think of one word: Sanjaya.

Unfortunately for David Hernandez (and Danny Noriega for that matter), his obvious fan base is going to overlap with David Archuleta. Well, our little David A is incredibly popular (and the most talented) so many David H fans are going to vote for David A first and as often as they need to to keep David A safe. As most people would agree, Archuleta really flubbed up this week. The natural reaction: power voting by the Hernandez and Archuleta fans for Archuleta. Every vote for one person is a missed vote for someone else and the result was a lot of missed votes that might have gone to Hernandez that got diverted to Archuleta.

The power of the gravitational pull of the Archuleta star has and will be something amazing to watch. This week's display of its effect is a good harbinger of who will win this season. Now that Noriega and Hernandez are out, their would-be future votes will be focused on Archuleta making him unstoppable.

By the way, the few but vocal nut jobs that have tried to make something scandalous out of Hernandez' former job are just the loser types that kept getting beat up in school and now think they have an opportunity to bring down a popular, good looking, and talented man, so that they can feel better about themselves. They are also the people who could only get a lap dance by paying the $40 because no one else would want to be anywhere near them.