Janice Dickinson And Tastefully Nude Men
In season three, episode three of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Janice continues to attract every mens underwear company in the world as clients. This episode it's Go Softwear. Of course the companies know that they are getting huge television publicity by contracting during the show's taping and they know a lot of guys in their target market are watching. I'm not complaining. It's only an hour of arousal and they say you only need to worry about seeking immediate medical attention when your pup tent lasts for four hours or more. Note to self: don't watch any all day JDMA marathons.
At the start of the episode, Brian Kehoe is sitting with some of the models in the agency's waiting room. Kehoe decides to take a stab at playing gay matchmaker by extolling the virtues of J.P. Calderon to Rodrigo de Carli. In Kehoesque fashion he says to Rodrigo, "You'd probably cheat on your boyfriend with J.P. I bet you would." I think Kehoe needs some more practice if he should ever want to be a spokesmodel trying to push a product (or in this case a person).
Rodrigo doesn't get a chance to respond because at that moment, Grasie interrupts with a question to Kehoe about his relationship with roommate Grant Whitney Harvey. She asks, "Are you guys just friends?" Grant adamantly spouts "Yeah!", while Kehoe takes awhile to relish the question. It's an interesting thing about Kehoe. He's one of those special straight men that are gay wannabes. It's like he likes the culture but unfortunately he's trapped in a straight man's orientation. He replies to Grasie, "I would want the whole world to know if I was gay! I wouldn't hide it!" as he pictured himself wearing a studded leather jockstrap while riding on the biggest and most flamboyant float in the gay pride parade. It seems like there should be some sort of way to make Kehoe an honorary member of the team if he hasn't earned that distinction already. The Go Softwear people visit the agency and tell Janice they are looking for 2 or 3 guys for their spring campaign. So, Janice brings out her first string tight ends for the Go team to size up. While fawning over the boys, the creative director asks Sorin Mihalache to take his shirt off and Janice says, "I'm glad someone else is telling these guys to take their shirts off." Uh, is this not counting all the viewers shouting this command at the TV every episode? There are plenty of web sites that allow this kind of interaction and it would be nice to have it with JDMA: "Now Kehoe, slowly lift one leg while biting down on the riding crop..."
The Go mo's decided to select 6 of the guys to go to a photo shoot at a house in Bel Air. At the location the first photo set was done on a stairway with light pouring down from an upper window. Model Payton Brady said he liked the shot because the light definitely showed his cuts. This is true, but a later scene with him lying on a bed with his legs spread wide open really showed his package cuts. Brian Bernie did a similar stairway pose as the photographer yelled, "Money!" Disappointingly, there was no actual money shot in the scene. When it came time to do Kehoe, the photographer noticed some darkness under Kehoe's eyes. He asked Kehoe if he had been partying the night before. Kehoe honestly replied that he had been in bed reading, but he didn't mention that what he had been reading was the labels on two bottle of wine that he finished off. The proof of Kehoe's transgression was on his breath and he was told to take a rest.
Janice arrives at the house and you know it is about to get really good. She's told the tale about Kehoe and she goes to him and gets him out of bed. She smells his breath and without even reading him his Miranda rights delivers immediate punishment with a slap across the face. She sends him away with a threat of additional discipline, this time from her putting her fist up his ass. She immediately reconsiders by speculating that he would probably like it. I never thought of Kehoe as a handball player, but I suppose Janice knows him better. Kehoe goes outside and complains to Chris Jones about Janice. Earlier in the episode, Kehoe had been insistent that Janice should be trusted without question when she tells the models to get naked. Now that her direction is not to drink before work, he finds her guidance not so worthwhile. Chris tells Kehoe he has his back but only uses the opportunity to squirt on the front of Kehoe's underwear. The water sports fun between Chris and Kehoe gets them both temporarily banned as Janice contemplates a career change to get away from models' bad boy behavior. In the end all is forgiven and Chris and Kehoe get back in the picture.
The show itself ends with Janice's obsession with nudity. She arranges for some of her models to be be nude models for an art class of senior citizens. The first model is Brian Bernie. He looks a little disoriented at first when he discovers what he is being asked to do, but he performs as a pro. He disrobes and jangles his dangles for a moment but the area is airbrushed from the video. The only way we get to see the fuzz behind the fuzz is through the display of the students' interpretation of it. Unfortunately, the students' renderings consist only of odd stick figures with oversized genitalia that are reminiscent of drawings on mens room walls. On the other hand, maybe the cajones were drawn to scale. If so, wow.
Kehoe was next and the art instructor told him to disrobe. She must not have known anything about him. With Kehoe, the default behavior in a room full of people is to get naked. You only have to say something to him when you don't want him to disrobe. Kehoe said he felt comfortable being there because he thought that older people wouldn't be looking at him in a sexual way. I'm wondering if I could get a fake id that added a couple of decades onto to my age and then use it to get into his dressing room. "It's okay. Strip, bitch. I'm old."
Last was the beautiful Danny Nunez. He's always quietly agreeable to almost anything. Maybe it was just the video technician's shaky hands but the obscuring patch over Danny's jewels seemed to be the most bouncing (and covered the most area) compared to the other models. I'm not very good at drawing but with Danny as an art subject I was inspired to use my hand to capture my own impression of what I felt from viewing him. Here's my drawing:
Christian Prelle, Shaun McCarron, Paul Anderson, and Peter Yonan also exposed themselves in this episode.
