MMAS: Body Art

In episode four of Make Me A Supermodel, it was all about the models being works of art. But like contemporary art, I don't see most of these models as being suitable to have hanging around. The female models are still bitchy and most of the male models are made to look incredibly boring. At least there was some excitement when one of the girls got slapped down when she insinuated to Ben DiChiara that he was sleeping with Aryn every night. The prison guard in Ben finally came out and he told her to shut her f-ing mouth. I'm sure that scene prompted fantasies of rough jailhouse sex with Ben in some of the viewers after they watched it. Of course if they watched for a few more minutes they would have seen Ben back to being sweetness and light with Ronnie Kroell, saying "All we got is each other." That is like a double dose of anti-Viagra.

Fortunately the visual stimulation quickly returned with a trip to an art class where the models got to pose au naturel. Frankie Godoy couldn't wait to disrobe while Casey Skinner was a little more hesitant. Ronnie did his business and Ben got stiff. However, the real stand out for the boys was Perry Ullmann. If you recorded the show, you can slow down the quick glimpses of the students' sketches, and assuming that everything was drawn to scale, you can see that Perry's package took up the most space on the paper. Nice.


The photo assignment was dull, doing pieces of a portrait. The training assignment was a lot more interesting with the models working together to form a living sculpture. They get covered in body paint with some cool decorations and they walked and writhed in front of a gallery audience. A little post-production lighting special effects made this scene probably the most interesting scene of the season so far.


Afterwards the models had a theme party back at their townhouse and it gave Perry Ullmann another chance to show what a great personality he has and what good acting ability he possess. He can do a number of funny looks and voices. He can so look so stern in his photos and it's nice to see how personable he can be away from the camera. At the party he hung out with the other guys and they talked about how much they liked each other. Perry was lying on bed during the conversation with Casey behind him and the camera angle created what I think must be an illusion. If you look at it, it looks like Casey is playing pocket pool with Perry. If he were, Perry has great control to be able to continue a conversation the entire time and still keep in character.


The catwalk assigment was to act like a walking sculpture. Perry did a superior job, which inspired Tyson Beckford to express his man-love for him. Tyson: "If he [Perry] were a girl, I'd date him. He's an amazing looking guy." Well, finally there is something I can agree on with Tyson.

MMAS: Meet The Models

Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel casting special showed that a lot of critics of Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency and America's Most Smartest Model were wrong. It is possible to cast a worse looking and less qualified group of "models". I had skimmed through the show first on Tivo to get a feel for what the show was like, but when I played it back to watch it in detail, I realized that something was terribly wrong. Even Janice's rejects are light year's beyond this motley crew. It's like the casting people went to an open call for a local amateur production of "South Pacific" and asked the hopefuls if they would rather be on a TV show instead. Host Tyson Beckford said that the odds of taking someone off the street and making them a supermodel would be like winning the lottery. In this case it's more like the odds of the sun going supernova tomorrow. I can't imagine there will be many people that care who wins this show. Somebody at Tiger Aspect Productions screwed up big time.

I give credit to the company for their selection of audition cities. They went to Dallas, Chicago, Miami, Los Angeles, and NYC. Chicago was an especially good choice. There is a lot of good looking men there with a range of European ethnicities. Unfortunately, it looks like the casting people only selected from the actual applicants. If you follow reality TV at all, you know that many of the best characters don't apply on their own; they are recruited. Somebody should went into the Loop at lunchtime and over to Boystown at night and beat the bushes for some really good choices.

In Chicago they did find Ronnie Kroell and Igor Galijasevic. Ronnie said that a former boyfriend was an adult video star who had been escorting on the side. Many people have to do two jobs to make ends meet, but Ronnie didn't indicate if the amount of time spent at work contributed to their breakup.

In L.A., there was Dominic Prietto and Perry Ullmann. I think they are both good looking, but in Los Angeles of all places, this is all they could find? Why didn't the producers just go the Beverly Center for an hour with a net and capture several seasons worth of qualified wannabes at one time?

In Miami there was Frankie Godoy. I don't like men with long hair. End of story.

In New York City, Ben DiChiara, the deputy sheriff from Nashville, was discovered. He had been married for four months at the time of his interview. He's only 22 and I think that's too young to be married. People need more time to mature before they make that kind of committment.

From all the applicants, 35 were selected to go to the next stage of the audition in New York. There they were interviewed and looked over by the judges. The first cut took out six of them, including Cuban-American Yenier Leyva. That really sucked because he seemed pretty interesting and because all modeling shows need a sexilicious Cuban.

The show finally got to bare skin section when the models subjected themselves to be examined wearing only swimsuits. The models took turns doing poses with partner on a chair. Ronnie did a puppy style pose with his hair being pulled back. He said he liked being dominated that way. I just wish he didn't also like furrowing his brow and putting on a fake orange tan. I thought there was something wrong with the tint on my TV until the judges confirmed he was artificially colored.

In the end, the field was narrowed down to 12 with 2 more to be selected by the public through an online vote. Dominic, Ronnie, and Perry were selected to be in the twelve, while Igor and Ben were turned over to the whims of whoever stumbled across the web site. The final decision was that the online community selected Ben as the final participant. I think I may watch the show for awhile just to see how Ben fares. His initial photos look pretty hot and I think the public will buy into the newly married, law enforcement backstory.

Make Me A Supermodel

On January 2, 2008, Bravo will air the casting special for Make Me A Supermodel, another in the current riches of reality television shows to feature male models. Can I handle getting involved with another one? Hell, yeah! This season there was America's Most Smartest Model and then The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency and now this one. The beauty of the genre is a lot of shots of the guys in next to nothing (or just nothing on JDMA). My preference would be for all reality shows to adopt this characteristic. Wouldn't Amazing Race be even more interesting with teams of male models running through airports in bikini briefs? And surely the boardroom would be spiced up on The Apprentice if the male contestants lined up at the table exposing all of their qualifications in smart looking birthday suits.

From BravoTv.com: "In a casting special, the 24 finalists will be whittled down to the 14 models that will ultimately compete for $100,000 and a modeling contract with New York Model Management. During the run of the series, Bravo viewers will vote each week to determine who stays to walk the 'Supermodel' catwalk again and who goes home. Over a 12-week period, 14 hopefuls will live together in a New York City loft and explore friendships, romance and naked ambition while undergoing a series of creative challenges designed to test their professional modeling potential."

My favorites are Ben DiChiara, Perry Ullmann, and Ronnie Kroell, Jr. (whose former boyfriend was an adult film star). I had also liked Dominic Prietto and Igor Galijasevic. I hope all of them make it through the casting special.

Ben DiChiara:

Queer Eye Bye-Bye

I recently read about the final season of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy starting, and like a lot of people, apparently, didn't realize it hadn't ended long ago. I loved the first season, but after it started to morph away from its initial formula, I totally skipped it.

It was exciting when the show first started. First because the show itself was actually entertaining. Second because it was great to see five gay men making the rounds of all the talk shows where the hosts and the audiences seemed to be quite comfortable with being gay with people being gay. I remember making sure I watched their appearance on The Tonight Show when they redecorated the set. I was on vacation at Disney World at the time, but the idea of watching gay men being celebrated for being gay instead of despite it, made it must see tv.

The parts of Queer Eye that I enjoyed were the initial inspection of the home with the humorous comments, the shopping trips, and the commentary on the subject's preparation for the get together with his significant other or family. The clothing and grooming advice were interesting although rather simplistic.

Of the Fab 5's individual contributions, Carson's critiques of the wardrobes were hilarious and Thom's makeover magic were jaw dropping. I don't care for cooking so I was less attentive during Ted's segments. The good parts made up for the fact that Carson's tastes were atrocious and Kyan was a little too hands on with the straight guys. Oh, and Jai, well I agree with the parody that Mad TV did of QE, where when they mimicked the overlay of the person's name and their specialty, they labeled him "Jai (useless)".

Where the show went wrong is that its producers starting tweaking it after the first season. I assume they did what happens with a lot of shows, which is look for the aspects that people like best and emphasize them more. The show was intended to appeal to female viewers (go figure), and they liked the part where the female comes in for the "reveal" and the segment afterwards. Everyone loves the "reveal", that's the highlight of every makeover show. But what they should have kept in moderation was the section after it. As I recall it seemed like they moved the reveal to the 30 minute mark, which greatly reduced the amount of time where the queer guys interacted with their subject. That interaction was the meat of the show. What followed was just the fluff. Once the Fab 5's participation level dropped, I dropped the show.

Note to all television producers: tinker with a show when it is not doing well or has not reached its potential. If you have already hit your peak, keep everything pretty much like it is (think American Idol).

The show's Hoosier connection: Ted Allen graduated from Carmel High School in the Indianapolis area and went on to get his Bachelors degree from Purdue University.