Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Work Out: The All You Can Drink Diet

In season three, episode six of Work Out, it was all about how training clients to lead a healthy lifestyle doesn't preclude the trainers from getting liquored up and enjoying a lot of carb-free wine and booze.

The initial serving from the distilled grain alcohol food group came at the end of the first full day of Jackie Warner's Sky Lab retreat at Dolphin Bay Hotel and Residences. After Jackie went to bed in a futile attempt to get some beauty sleep, the trainers went to the hotel bar for some heavy-duty exercise of their livers and quaffing muscles.

Greg Plitt hit the sauce hard and proposed a tipsy toast to his fellow trainers: "To Skye for bringing us all together. Because without Skye, I wouldn't have known each individual and every single one of you has enriched my life and I hope that maybe I've enriched your life and I think we've all enriched each other's lives through the process." Really, I can't take the credit for bringing them all together, but I appreciate the sopping sentiment.

Greg PlittErika Jacobson was then inspired by Greg's salute by slurring one of her own: "Here's to a great weekend with a lot of breakthroughs." Strangely, that statement turned out to be more of a premonition than an assessment as Darth Lisa, the menacing office manager of malicious intrigue, proceeded to let the tops of her boobs break out of her stretched open shirt for everyone to inspect. It was nasty. The better breakthrough would have been the one that Greg, as the typical drunken straight boy, was encouraging in Gregg Butler's crotch as Greg copped a substantial feel of Gregg's extra g. I guess it's a quick shot from physical trainer to snake charmer.

Greg "redeemed" himself by getting wasted and near naked with Renessa Williams in the pool and hot tub. I don't condone public displays of heterosexuality so I will censor any other comments about that scene.

Before the retreat ended, Jackie tried to make it seem more worthwhile to the paying clients by spending some time answering questions about nutrition. She talked about food additives, the concept of comfort foods and the need to eat foods that are filling but good for you. Unfortunately for the Sky Lab clients, they could have gotten the same information for free from the USDA's web site, all without forking over thousands of dollars to Jackie. On the other hand, Jesse Brune made the comment that "I don't think that it's a good retreat unless there's a little sex involved." Now to me that would be a good reason to blow your wad spending a weekend with your hunky trainer. It would even be worth listening to Jackie act like she's an expert about anything.

Jesse BruneThe second round of drinks during this episode came at the Doug Blasdell fundraiser. Brian Peeler was there and since his spirit was troubled from being fired, being separated from his wife, and being basically homeless, he used the good spirits from the cash bar to try to wash his bad ones away. The drinks made Brian a little exuberant but it was totally excusable under the circumstances. The disturbing part of it was when he shared a sloshed love segment with Jackie. He told her loved her, which was absolutely the vodka talking. Nothing that is less than 100 proof could cause anyone to act like they actually loved Jackie. Her emotionless response fortunately helped bring Brian to his senses and with a few fitting expletives he turned his back on the witch for the final time.