Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cole Escola Pushes Paper

Cole EscolaIn episode three, season one, of Jeffery & Cole Casserole, Cole Escola got his dream job of being a wrapping paper dealer and Jeffery Self received a hex.

1. Introduction

There was a hodgepodge of phone call situations (e.g. calls to radio shows, calls from home, calls from people in one's past. and calls from people you wish to avoid being stalked by). It was a good example by the two leads of improv based on a theme.

2. The Tyne Daly Tap Routine

The feet of actress Tyne Daly are seen as she began to tap dance. A large slab of chicken fell to the floor. Tyne laboriously bent over and picked the chicken off the floor. With low-wave guttural noises, she consumed the hunk of bird flesh, with her mouth and feeding off-camera (thankfully).

3. Once Upon A Time On A H0rny Friday Night

Jeffery engaged in an online Manhunt-like chat, with him and his trick using the IDs of SmoothCute22" and "HornyHunk79". The two arranged for an assignation at Jeffery's home. When Jeffery opened the door for his anonymous online skank, he found that it was actually his mother. He asked in disbelief is she was really HornyHunk79 (which meant Jeffery was SmoothCute22, making viewers wonder in disbelief at how much he must flatter himself). His mom explained that arranging for sex in an online chat room was the only way that she ever got to see Jeffery.

4. Fun With Mom & Mom & Son

Jeffery and his mom got unsettlingly but believably intimate in bed while Mom updated him on family affairs.

5. The Hex (Part 1)

Cole visited Jeffery, bringing Jeffery some of his delicious fritters shaped like Kelly Ripa. Jeffery quickly realized that Cole was trying to use the gift as a way to get Jeffery to do something for him. Jeffery recalled the last time Cole had tried this trick, where Cole had brought Jeffery an injured baby or something wrapped in a blanket after Cole had accidentally struck it. Cole insisted he wouldn't do something like that again as long as he stayed out of children's museums.

Cole reminded Jeffery that he had been on a waiting list to become a representative for a gift wrapping company. With the death of someone at the company, which Cole innocently insisted he had nothing to do with, there was an opening for Cole. Jeffery asked Cole why he would need to sell out of Jeffery's apartment. Cole said he couldn't use his place since it was not technically on American soil. Jeffery agreed to let Cole use his apartment if he cold have 10% of what Cole earned. Cole countered that he would give Jeffery 10% of what he had previously planned to give Jeffery. Jeffery, a college drop-out, agreed.

Strangely, a gypsy stuck her head in the door and asked if someone had said "wrapping paper", which technically, no one had. Cole shooed her away.

Cole began work the same day, taking the name "All Wrapped Up In Cole" for his business. On a phone call with a customer he told them he could get them the holly & the ivy Christmas wrap by Tuesday but could make no promises on the snowflake tissue paper.

Cole asked Jeffery to make a delivery of wrapping paper for him to the UN. As Jeffery was about to leave the building, the gypsy, waiting by the door, asked how much would it cost for her to buy the wrapping paper that Jeffery was holding. Jeffery replied that he couldn't sell it to her. So, the gypsy put a hex on Jeffery and laughed gleefully.

The next day, Jeffery coughed up feathers and realized he was under the influence of a hex.

6. The Hex (Part 2)

Cole called a doctor for Jeffery, who wondered how Cole could find a doctor who made house calls and how Cole could afford any kind of doctor. Cole insisted he had made a deal, but would give no specifics. The doctor arrived and Jeffery explained his symptoms of coughing up feathers. The doctor gave Jeffery an eye exam and was able to confirm that he had a hex.

Meanwhile, Cole's wrapping paper business began to seem like something more that what it appeared to be on the surface. One of his customers was clearly a wrapping paper addict who begged for just one more roll. Cole cut her supply and turned her away. With another customer, Cole demanded to know if they were a cop, fearing he might be being setup in a sting operation. With a third customer, he drove them away from his door, saying he had no greeting cards and asking derisively if they thought Jeffery's apartment was a stationary store (and not the front it started to appear to be).

With the examination finished, the doctor asked for his payment of wrapping paper that Cole had promised, but Cole didn't want to give him any since he hadn't actually been able to help Jeffery. The doctor insisted and Cole pulled a gun on him and threatened to use it. The doctor fled. Cole comforted Jeffery by telling him he would find a way to help Jeffery somehow. Suddenly the police were heard nearby and Cole rushed away but warned Jeffery if they should ask about "Valentine's day tissue paper", Jeffery should say he knew nothing about it.

7. Little Old Ladies.

Jeffery and Cole pretended to be old ladies, wearing towels wrapped around their heads and commiserating about the effects of old age. Jeffery started off by saying, "in 1934..." Cole interrupted by screaming, "Where did all that time go??" Jeffery said he had met a young boy named Walter. Cole tearfully exclaimed that he could no longer climb up stairs. Jeffery mumbled something and Cole let out a plaintive shriek about not knowing how to turn off the TV. Jeffery continued to unconvincingly act like an old lady and Cole continued to knock it out of the park. Cole dourly lamented he needed a new hip but could not afford it. Jeffery talked about Walt. Cole, perhaps not acting, began to doze off from Jeffery's boring performance. Cole awoke and loudly grieved that all the clothing he bought for his grandchildren were too big or too small. He confusedly screamed that none were the right size. Jeffery daydreamed. Cole mournfully longed to once again be a child. Jeffery realized the boy's name wasn't Walter. Cole frightfully bawled his fear that his license would be be revoked.

8. Cole Considers Pushing Jeffery Out Of A Window

Literally. And sadly for the show, Cole doesn't follow through.

9. Jeffery Traps Cole In A Mirror

Jeffery had trapped Cole within a mirror. While Jeffery was on the phone lying about Cole actually being in Floria, Cole pleaded with Jeffery to let him out of the mirror. Cole cried, and soulless Jeffery stared with dead eyes and no emotion into the camera. (FYI, it was the only performance he has given that was not outside his range).

10. The Race

Cole and Jeffery appeared to be masturbating. It looked like Cole climaxed first from the stimulation but it is was revealed that if he had indeed ejaculated at that moment it was from finishing first in their "a dead cat in the road drawing contest".

11. Wake Up Wisconsin

It was hard to pay attention to what was said as the viewer is compelled to wonder how, living in New York, Jeffery could have such a ridiculously butchered hair cut. It is not clear if it was a back-alley job or just a Self family bowl cut (Georgia style).

12. What's Up Jeffery's Butt?

Jeffery wanted to play a game to guess what was up there. Cole guessed a toaster, a fireman, and something rectangular like a remote. Jeffery gave a hint that it was something you eat. Cole wondered if it was something Asian. He only knew it was not power tools and so gave up. Jeffery shot it out for the big reveal. It was two chocolate chip cookies. They eat the cookies.

13. And Now A PSA...

Jeffery and Cole did a PSA for "nervous accent affectation". This is a disorder where one lapses into using a foreign accent when one is nervous. Jeffery acted out playing a businessman speaking to a subordinate. He got nervous and spoke with an incredibly bad English accent.

14. Practical Joke

Cole told the viewers that they would get to see him play a joke on Jeffery. He called Jeffery to the phone, saying it was Jeffery's Aunt Laurie on the line. Jeffery took the call and heard that his Uncle Frank was dead. Jeffery wept and Cole laughed and laughed. When Jeffery hung up, Cole told him that he has been on the receiving end of a practical joke. Jeffery hopefully wondered if that meant his uncle had not died. Cole said that no, the uncle was indeed dead, but Cole had tricked Jeffery into believing that the call was about "good" news. Cole was pleased with the result.

15. Indecipherable Background Noise.


16. The Hex (part 3)

Jeffery got his mail from the box and coughed up another feather. The gypsy appeared behind him and laughed about the though of a beak soon appearing on Jeffery. Jeffery realized that the hex was turning him into a bird. He wondered what he had done to deserve it. A cut-away showed Jeffery confessing to killing Jon-Benet Ramsey. He told the gypsy he hadn't done anything wrong lately. Jeffery asked what the gypsy wanted to lift the curse. She said she wanted all of Cole's paper. Jeffery told Cole about it. Cole decided to give all the paper to the gypsy. With paper in hand, the gypsy removed the hex. Cole asked her never to show her face again and she disappeared. Cole told Jeffery he felt scared and lost having given away his stash of paper, and now he would be starting a 12 step program. Jeffery suggested that they have some of the Kelly Ripa fritters to make them feel better.

17. Ending

Jeffery gave the goodbye for the episode while Cole wondered if he could give himself a white wine enema. Cole also practiced bull fighting, looking up Christmas music on the internet, and stripping down to his underwear.