TV Trick

Janice Dickinson And Role Playing

2008-09-11T22:45:00.012-04:00

In season four, episode three of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about Janice and the models presenting themselves as they wanted to be seen on camera. Sometimes it was for the better, sometimes it was just bizarre.

The episode began with Janice apparently trying to portray a typical hausfrau, which is as believable as Marie Antoinette pretending to be a shepherdess. She was seen mopping the floor for a few seconds, just long enough to establish her bona fides in front of the camera that she knows how to clean house. She quickly grew tired of it and the mop went back into the hands of her all-purpose Igor, Sorin Mihalache. She then stormed through the house finding things to clean and garbage to throw out, loading Sorin with garbage bags the way the Grinch loaded down his down Max. Janice tried to make a bed but gave up in frustration, claiming her bitch nails wouldn't let her tuck the bedding in. Returning to her true role as queen of the realm, she got the female models to do it while letting them know she considered them pigs. Now that's the real Janice we know and love.

As strange as seeing Janice as a maid was, it was more shocking to see her getting up from bed in the morning and walking around the house in her robe, toothbrush in her mouth, checking on things, without makeup and without hair styling. In summary: visual unpleasantness. I had always assumed Gabe slept at her feet like the lap dog that he is and was ready to do her face as soon as she stirred. Otherwise, what's the point of keeping that obnoxious chihuahua?

Turning to the other wacky star of the show, Brian Kehoe has been pulling out all the stops. In the previous episode, Kehoe spoke privately with Janice and gave a sob story that he had no place to go and that he had slept in his car the previous night. Like in a bad horror movie where you know where such things are going to lead to, Janice let down her guard and allowed the seemingly normal young man to stay at the house.

The start of the unraveling was Kehoe bathing naked in the pool with soap. Okay, strange. It then progressed to loud, irrational confrontations with the other models at all hours of the night. Of course, the pseudo-psychosis was obviously for show. Kehoe did a convincing job of pretending to be a frat boy with paranoid personality disorder on angel dust, but it was clear that it was a put on for the camera. Kehoe is too nice for it to be real and if it doesn't seem real, it is not interesting to watch.

However, for the other models, such a display was still noisy and disruptive so it indeed pissed people off. Even deaf Martin Ritchie said Kehoe was loud. Of course, Martin as always was so sweet and adorable when he said that.

The beginning of the end was at a house party where Kehoe told Crystal Truehart that she should do blow in order to lose weight. Janice heard this and tossed Kehoe out of the house. Though it's beyond unreal, the Kehoe as a nutcase storyline will unfortunately continue like Michael Myers popping up over and over. Maybe it would be best if Janice would bring in a cosmetic skull doctor who could give Kehoe a quick extreme makeover with electroconvulsive therapy and be done with it.

The big client of the episode was Kentucky Denim Jeans, which did a photo shoot with some selected models at the Santa Anita racetrack. The boy models put out for stud were Chandler Maness, Martin Ritchie, Brian Kehoe, Dominic Figlio, and Christian Prelle.

First up was Chandler and Christian on a tractor combine thingy. I think Chandler's best feature so far is his hair. It's versatile. It looked great slicked down for the sophisticated, old world Nicolita look and also great messed up for a rugged farm hand pose. Martin climbed on the apparatus appearing with Dominic. Oh, be still my heart. Martin was totally believable as some sort of red state plow boy. A manly man. I will say at this point that his hair style and especially the color are really working for him. It doesn't look as good in his photos of the past when he didn't have the blonding.

Janice showed up with her super sized Dollar General derby hat. You know, when something looks incredibly cheap I don't think you really want to go large with it. It only needed a hanging price tag to complete the Minnie Pearl goes to the races look.

Janice found out from owner Liat Tala that Martin did a good job. Martin was happy that he was able to show everyone that he could do good as a model. Martin had talked through his interpreter about feeling left out when others are speaking audibly and he can't hear them. He said they forget to write things down in order to include him. I know what he's talking about. I have the same feeling when the janitorial staff at work is speaking in tongues, leaving me wondering what they are saying about me.

Can't forget to mention Paul Vandervort. At dinner one nightm, out of all the models. Janice called Paul over to take away her dishes, although she couldn't remember what his name was. It was then that I realized why Paul looks familiar. At every function I've been to, there is always a cater/waiter that looks a lot like Paul. Put him in a white jacket and he's perfect for the part.

Janice Dickinson And Faux Drama

2008-09-04T17:52:00.013-04:00

In season four, episode two of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the instigation of faux drama with forced friction between new models and returning models. It's a predictable ploy used on the series and it's probably played out by now. Long-time viewers know that by the end of the season, or at least by the start of the next one, everybody will be model buddies and one big happy PTSD family, so it's not worth investing interest in these little tiffs.

The gimmick of this season is the use of group living for the cast in a "model house", ala Big Brother, Real World, etc. Janice herself plays housemother, which makes the house sort of a cross between the Playboy mansion and a minimum security psych ward. Ostensibly, the purpose of the house was to give Janice Dickinson the opportunity to spend more time with her models, shaping them and keeping them focused. In reality, the concept was used to give the writers inherently more potential story lines to put together. The models, realizing that the house was where the stories and camera time were going to be based, all really wanted to stay within its limited confines. As terrible as it would be to have Janice on their back 24/7, they definitely wanted to be part of Madam Janice's little fame-whore house.

At the end of the first episode, the returning models were incensed to learn that only new models had been picked to live in the house. Only J.P. Calderon, the impossibly benevolent, good-hearted conscience of the agency, said he he was happy for the new models getting to live there. He indicated that he was blissfully ignorant of the anger of the returning models. Question: why are the gay characters on basic cable and network tv usually saints? When can we have gay super s|uts whoring with every drunken straight football player turned model?

It was understandable that the new models would need the most attention, so although I can understand that living in the house could be considered a bonus, it really was intended to be like remedial summer school and as such, anybody not forced to live in the house should have felt good that Janice considered them not needing the extra attention.

Janice pointed out that those not living in the house are still in her agency. She let them how much she still cared for them by saying, "I love each and every one of you. Shut the f*** up and trust me." She's so sweet. Lord love her.

The puke in the group that doesn't deserve any loving is Christian Prelle, who mocked Martin Ritchie's speaking ability. This was a new low for Prelle, lower than the repulsive behavior he showed last season before the PETA rally. Thankfully, Prelle got deservedly slapped by Janice.

To get all the models together, Janice threw a party. Everyone seemed to have a good time despite seeing Sorin Mihalache's mustache and sad little hat. At the party Janice announced that she had picked Maurice Townsell to move into the house. She explained that she hoped his manliness would rub off on the "effeminate" models. She went on to say that she meant it literally, describing some sort of weird, male model marking of territory where "he's going to rub his manly, manly, manly, all over the place." Not in, just over, sadly.

Strangely, Janice then wanted all of the models to cross-dress to show that they could portray different characters. This seem to defeat her purpose for bringing in Maurice as his female persona was unnervingly on target, looking like a $20 street prostitute. Martin, it should be noted, looked terribly sweet as a coquettish, naughty Texas housewife.

Getting down to work, the first casting was for Nicolita Swimwear. The company needed one of the girl models to be the face of Nicolita for the season and the finalists for the part who were selected to do a test shoot were Traci Moslenko, Polina Tretiakova, and CC Fontana. Chandler Maness was also selected, to be the man prop.

The shoot employed a very classy, classic look that I love, like Italy in the fifties. Traci Moslenko's face and hair looked real good, but the featured photo made her look like she had a beer gut. Polina Tretiakova's style just didn't fit the genre. CC clearly had the best photo of the women. Very sexy. Chandler Maness had the best look overall, looking fantastic in a Ivy League look. His one problem was his arm tattoo. It needs to go or have some body makeup on it.

CC had shown up late to the shoot because of her period. When Janice found out about it, she was very angry. Hearing it was because of menstruation, Janice asked CC, "Do you not know every 28 days that you have a blood bath downstairs?" Hearing this word picture of CC and her monthly flash flood disaster was a bit much, but probably better than seeing Janice hurl tampons at CC, shouting, "Plug it up! Plug it up!"

During the shoot, Janice met Anna Babbitt, Traci's manager for acting. Anna explained that she was representing Traci for TV and film. Janice asked, "What kind of film, porn?" Anna replied, "Well, she's going to be in features... soon." (As every other woman in LA is eventually promised.) Regardless, it's an great inspiration for having fun at work. I've started to bring a friend of mine to every business meeting, explaining that he's my agent for TV and feature films. It's a break from my usual intermittent but frantic waving away invisible bugs.

The second casting of the episode was for Kentucky Denim Jeans. Liat Tala, the owner, was looking for some male models (who isn't?) with a few females for background. The men had to try on jeans, which gave us a good number of crotch shots. Sweet! Christian Prelle, Martin Ritchie, Brian Kehoe, Dominic Figlio and Chandler Maness were selected. It will be hot to watch the photo shoot in the next episode.

Janice Dickinson In The Big Mother House

2008-08-28T21:20:00.005-04:00

In season four, episode one of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, it was all about the usual addition of new models and this season, for the first time, the usage of a common abode for Janice and her models. At the start of a new season Janice needs to replenish her stock and that has been a customary part of the show. The use of a single living environment is a significant change to the dynamics of the show (although it is a common element in reality TV) and it will be interesting to see how it affects the drama.

To start things off, Janice Dickinson gave an introduction for the season, bringing her viewers up to date on her partnership dissolution with Peter Hamm. She explained that the separation required a division of the assets and that she was able to keep most of her favorite models. Her list of them by name was J.P. Calderon, Crystal Truehart, Brian Kehoe, Traci Moslenko, Dominic Figlio, Christian Prelle, Payton Brady, Danny Nunez, CC Fontana, and "several others". I don't know how the several other models felt by this pronouncement (especially Michael Anderson who was shown as she spoke the words), but if I were listed in "others", I'm not sure I would consider myself actually to be one of her "favorites".

What can we learn from her enumerated list? One thing is that 7 of the 9 are men, which buttresses my previous statement that predominantly the male models should be shown on the television show, with maybe a few video clips of the women tagged on to the show's web site. However, if Janice were to expand her yet-to-be shown plus-size division by adding a drag queen subdivision, that could be worth watching on TV also. It would be a hoot just to see them all come to every casting dressed and made up to look like Janice.

Janice also asked the question, "And what would the agency be without the ever-loving Sorin [Mihalache] on security duty?" Hmmm, let me think about that. More dignified, more respectable, less bizarre? Is one of those the right answer?

The selection of the new models was done at a VIP (pre-selected) casting call at Siren Studios in LA. Janice Dickinson bounced into the room exuberantly happy to see the prospects. She modestly tried to cut the thunderous applause that the applicants gave at the sight of the legendary world's first supermodel. The camera didn't show if anyone swooned at the experience but I would imagine at least a few people would have had to when received into her presence. Needless to say, Janice looked stunning with her perfect figure and timeless beauty. Her taut boobies stayed perfectly in place.

Janice stated, "All I need is one thing: that capital I-T, that solid it thing that no one else can see but me." Here I have to disagree with Janice. When I'm out hunting down that solid it thing on a Saturday night, I want it to be visible from across the street, preferably hidden by nothing more than a pair of lycra bike shorts.

Sentimentally, my favorite Janice line was "Boys, boys, boys, I need you to do one thing: take your shirts off!" I will leave for another time the story of when I used that same line on a pair of Mormon missionaries.

Here are the models she selected:

Chandler Maness was concerned about how well he would do considering the competition in the room. He had nothing to worry about although he almost escaped Janice's eye. He shows a lot of personality for the camera in his expression.
Martin Ritchie is a model who is deaf and looks so cute and sweet. Janice gave him a big hug, which I think a lot of viewers are going to want to do also. His interpreter Jerry Ferris is modelicious himself.
Paul Vandervort is a diminutive model who has the face and teeth to do okay, but the chest in the side view is looking like a B cup and I just don't find that flattering on a man. When building definition in the pectorals you have to know when to stop, although I realize the temptation to keep going past the limit of where it looks good. It's especially not good on a smaller frame. It makes the proportions out of whack.
Gavyn Michaels to me looks reminiscent of Paul Rudd.

At some point Janice Dickinson got it in her head that to enhance her oversight of her models she needed to open a "model house" where her best models would live with her and she would keep a close eye on how they prepared themselves to be top-notch model material.

She arranged to rent a suitably sized house and was excited with most of it until she saw her master bedroom. She decided it had to be remodeled before it could be considered habitable. Her choice of decorator was Christopher Ciccone. I have to say this for the sake of completeness: "Madonna's brother", but really anyone who is watching JDMA should already know that. Janice told him that she basically had no money to pay him, so then it's not clear if the lack of money or Chris' (or at least his assistants') lack of taste is what led to the result: a cherry red, Dutch whore house design. I hope Janice was just being polite when she compared the bedroom to the virgin white remainder of the house: "This is more me than the rest of the house." Okay.

In a closet enclosure in her bedroom, it was revealed that it contained a big display monitor connected to many security cameras throughout the house. It sounded too much like a mixture of JDMA with Big Brother and I hope this is not jumping the shark.

To fill the house Janice first "summoned" what she called her "pre-existing" models, as in "pre-existing disease". That didn't sound so good for what might lie ahead. The returning models brought their suitcases and given the circumstances thought they would be living there for the duration of the season's taping. Only the highly astute Kehoe realized that there were too few beds in the house for all of the returning models to use, much like Rose noticed about the number of lifeboats in Titanic. Again, not boding well.

Janice personally brought her bevy of newbies to the house and displayed them to the returning models. She then unveiled the surprise that only fifteen out of the combined total of new and returning models would actually be chosen to live in the house. The returning models felt confident about being selected and so had no problem partying near if not exactly with the new models at the house until the final selection was made. J.P. Calderon arrived late and after being loved by all the returning models he saw the separation between new and old and went out of his way to introduce himself to the new ones. Kehoe was Keyhole to the new models, playing his specified role in this production.

The client in this episode was Nicolita Sainz, a Cuban swimwear designer, who needed one female to be the new face for the company and one male model to be her admirer. You would think Danny Nunez, of Cuban descent, would be a shoo-in, but he still appears too shy and uncertain of himself when auditioning. Instead the male position went to Chandler Maness, who was noted for his expressive eyes.

In the end, Janice Dickinson ended up only choosing nine people to live in the house and they were all new models. Everybody else she threw out. The returning models were understandably angry about the decision, but if they know anything about Janice they should know that her methodology includes making models angry at their competitors so they will try harder to beat them. She does it like prepping pit bulls before a dog fight, but for these doe-eyed models it's really like rubbing a puppy's nose in their own dookie - it has no idea what's going on.

Janice Dickinson And Chandler Maness

2008-08-27T02:28:00.008-04:00

In season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, one of the new models that Janice brings in off of the street in her elusive search for the ultimate superstar model is actor-model Chandler Maness. What's notable about him from my perspective is that he appears to be someone that I can report really wants to be a working actor and I don't have to roll my eyes as I type that.

My first view of Chandler Maness was him in a video clip giving a tour of Janice Dickinson's "model house". The house is where some of the season 4 models lived with Janice during the show's taping and it is the big gimmick for the season. I was indifferent about the house, but what I found more interesting was the way that Chandler appeared on camera. He has the face and demeanor that you can tell can play various characters with subtlety and believability. It's a presence that was more than just a model or even an ordinary person walking around pointing out furniture.

Even though Chandler Maness' primary career choice is acting, he still has what it takes to be a model. In episode one of season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Chandler became the first male model of the season to book a job, beating out some of the models from the previous season. As long as you have the right look, I'm sure it's easier to be an actor doing modeling than a model doing some acting, because as an actor one should be more able to evoke the feeling the photographer wants to be portrayed. On the other hand, not being a full time model Chandler probably doesn't work out as much as he would need to, so I wouldn't expect to see him book the hot male underwear and swimwear jobs. His swimsuit pictures on Oxygen.com clearly aren't as favorable as those for the other male models.

Background: Chandler Maness was born in the Netherlands into an American military family. Accordingly, he then moved around a lot. After graduating from high school in Washington, D.C., Chandler attended College of Charleston in South Carolina with a double major in both drama and history with a minor in classics. Early in 2008, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actor in independent films.

My perception so far is that Chandler Maness is someone that is smart and analytical. He's reasonably optimistic about his future, trusting himself to push forward in the direction he wants to go and to navigate successfully the unplanned opportunities that may present themselves. I think he is someone who will accept what others can do for him, but when necessary will work to create his own situations that give him opportunity to succeed. He knows he is not perfect but realizes that the attributes he has are pretty good. He sees no reason to be pretentious or not honest since being himself will be of more value in the end.

Of course this is just a first impression. As the season goes on I may find I have created a load of crap. Thank goodness for the edit function.

Janice Dickinson And Martin Ritchie

2008-08-26T20:54:00.005-04:00

In season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, one of the new models is Martin Ritchie. Besides being attractive, Martin appears to have a big personality, which is important for being on a reality show. He also seems like a nice person and I hope that we get to see a good amount of him on air.

He said on an Oxygen.com interview that his guilty pleasure is cookies. He has to grab some whenever he goes to the store. Martin is known to be of the gay persuasion, so if by "cookies", he means "penis", and by "store", he means my bedroom, I think I could really like this guy.

Martin Ritchie happens to be deaf and he has mentioned that it has caused him to be transparently discriminated against at auditions. Nevertheless, Martin maintains a positive outlook on life and points to his casting on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency as evidence that perseverance and a good attitude can lead you to achieve your dreams.

In an interview with The Dallas Voice, Martin told of his background. He was born in Lakeland, Florida, but considers himself from Austin, Texas, where his mother still lives. He decided his career would be in modeling (with dentistry as his second choice) and he moved to Hollywood to try to get his career started. He has never been an Abercrombie & Fitch model but in the meantime, he did get as far as working in one of their stores.

He had auditioned for Janice Dickinson but had been rejected at first because he had a "muffin top," which is to say too much flab in the abdomen. After working on his abs he did get picked for season four and was selected to move into the model house with Janice and her other favored models.

In that Dallas Voice interview Martin Ritchie was asked what his idea of a date from hell would be and he answered, "Broken chairs and tables." I don't know if that would be from someone being clumsy, or from a brawl, or just wild sex, but I imagine that Martin has learned by now that if you chain the date to the table or chair before you surprise him with the dripping hot wax, make sure the furniture is sturdy.

On Martin Ritchie's relationship with Janice Dickinson, he told OK! Magazine that Janice is like a second mother to him and that during their time together in the model house she showed him love and affection. Martin said, "I used to have many daydreams of her becoming my mom and knowing that her children must be very grateful and happy to have her."

I had previously mentioned that I also wish that Janice were my mother, but that is so that she would buy me things and introduce me to her male models.

It should be noted that Martin Ritchie appears on adult web sites as “Pauly” on CruiserBoys.com and "York" on Boyride.com but I think he looks a lot better in the publicity shots for Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency than he does unclothed on those sites.

I'm a sucker for good people, with good personality that persevere against adversity and from what I can tell, Martin Ritchie should be one of my favorites this season and provide some interesting scenes for the show.

Janice Dickinson And Paul Vandervort

2008-08-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

In season four of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, one of the new models that have been added to the cast is Paul Vandervort. Before his working with JDMA, a highlight of Paul's professional career has been to be photographed by Bruce Weber for Abercrombie & Fitch.

Paul Vandervort is just shy of 5'10", which is shorter than normal for a model, but as anyone would know who has read anything I have posted here, I certainly appreciate men of all sizes and like to see those under 6' get opportunities as well. I think most people will see Paul as having a pretty face and that makes up for any challenge in vertical length.

On the other hand, I think with a pretty face it's still possible overall to be too smooth, too slick, too artificial looking. Pretty faces are surprisingly a dime a dozen, but the real standouts, the stars, are the people with distinctive looks. Consider some of the other models at the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, like Brian Kehoe, J.P. Calderon, Danny Nunez, and even Payton Brady. There's no confusing them with anyone else. It's their uniqueness that makes their fans see them as attractive with no suitable substitutes. I don't know that Paul Vandervort has that kind of uniqueness.

Put another way, it's like looking at a handsome mannequin. You may enjoy a few moments looking at it but it's not something you would have dinner with or spend time with at a party. Or maybe you would - whatever trips your trigger.

I have written before about men that become overdeveloped physically, and while Paul Vandervort is certainly not bad in that department in general, I think he may crossed the line for a male model. Models have to work to get a certain level of definition but then they have to make sure that they don't bulk up. Paul's A+F photos look just about right for musculature, but I think since then he may gone a little overboard in the gym. I know it's tempting to think that because one level of muscle mass brings some success then even more muscle will add more success. It doesn't work that way for fashion modeling.

Paul Vandervort has spoken about his frequent workouts and his need to do so. I can't help but be reminded me of a friend of mine who was clearly obsessive/compulsive about going to the gym. If he were ever forced to miss a day he became quite distraught and if it were two days he would start to think his body was breaking down, his health disintegrating, and his appeal fading. He realized he had a problem but didn't know what to do to handle it. It makes me wonder sometimes if admiring someone's physique is complementing their commitment to physical fitness or just being an enabler for OCD.

I think working out can be compared to going to the bathroom. It's a good and necessary thing to do and it's healthy to do it often, but if you were to mention a lot to others your trips to the toilet, people would think something was really wrong with you. It's best to treat it as TMI.

It's clear that Paul Vandervort will be a featured model this season with a relatively good amount of air time. It's not clear yet if he has the kind of personality you need to have to be a star on reality TV. It's reported that Paul and Kehoe hang out together on a regular basis so there must be something there, as I can't imagine Kehoe wasting time with someone that wasn't pretty interesting.

Battle Of The Bulges

2008-08-19T18:26:00.020-04:00

The semifinals for the men's 3m springboard diving at the Beijing Olympics were appropriately shown after midnight on NBC. Presumably it was to keep the kiddies and the faint-hearted from seeing the bodacious bulges most of the divers were sporting. Most of the men are on the small side in height but for whatever reason they seem to be full size or larger in the naught bits area and relatively speaking, it's a sight to see.

Usually the television cameras won't acknowledge that male divers or swimmers even have a body below the waistline if the athletes should dare to bare even the slightest hint of anything more than a Ken doll front. The rules seem to be just a little relaxed for the diving coverage and it is quite a shock to see what we have been missing. You can't help but stare at the rounded protuberance pushing out the fabric, and wonder what's in that pouch? A cup? A codpiece? A flotation device?

With the high-def coverage it all looks pretty real, although with seemingly more tension on the lycra than in the board, you wonder if the divers will spring out before they spring up. Of course the benefit of a couple of pud pounds is that it cans be used as a substantial counter weight when the diver is facing backwards on the end of the board standing on just their toes.

One of the biggest of the big boys is American Troy Dumais. 2008 is his 3rd Olympics, after placing 6th in both Sydney and Athens. It was noted that he has only 4% body fat, which is probably way to little. I think it causes him to have the sunken micro nipples. About Troy from the TMI department, Cynthia Potter blabbed, "He said he had trouble with his bottoms yesterday." Considering that equipment of his, they're probably just a little sore, but it's nice to know there are more than one of them to share the load. Cynthia went on to say, "He didn't kick out and go in as straight as he would like to." Ouch.

Another of the well-endowed buff divers is the ever popular Alexandre Despatie from Quebec. As usual, he showed his stuff, literally. Man, that's what I call a well stuffed tourtière.

Chris Colwill is the other American in the competition. He's just happy to be there although he sometimes look like he doesn't know where there is.

Surprisingly there was a dive shown by Ken Terauchi from Japan. Japan is the country that currently has the 9th most medals at these Olympics but whose athletes NBC has cast as extras in their production. We only get a glimpse of them when the commentators are compelled to explain that somehow someone from a country other than China or the United States has won (during the commercial break?) one of the other medals.

Very sexy is Yahel Castillo from Mexico. He is compact, dark, and handsome. He also has the best haunches by far. He's got that badunkadunk in the rear working for him big time.

I should mention that Reuben Ross from Saskatchewan is cute. Commentator Ted Robinson expressed amazement that Canadians in the middle of that empty space between New York and Alaska could actually have pools and learn how to dive, which didn't seem very nice.

The best diver of the semifinal was He Chong from China. It was too bad that Cynthia Potter and Ted Robinson didn't do a Abbott and Costello routine with the name: "He first.". "Who He?" "He He", etc.

My personal favorite was Illya Kvasha. He's just really charming in a Ukrainian kind of way. Unfortunately, of all the divers I mentioned here, he and Ross were the only ones that didn't end up in the top 12 and on to the finals.

The thing the viewers weren't suppose to hear: before a break to commercial there was about a second of Abba's Dancing Queen heard playing at the venue. From what I know of spectators at men's diving events, it seemed to be a good song choice for the clientele.

Gev Manoukian Gets The Message

2008-07-23T13:50:00.012-04:00

I work hard during the week and I didn't think it was too much to expect from network television and the American people that they allow me to keep the highlight of my relax time, which up to now has been the weekly performance by Gevorg "Gev" Manoukian on FOX'sSo You Think You Can Dance. Alas, my fellow citizens have not considered my feelings in this matter. In another explicable example of voting in the United States this year, Gev received the lowest number of votes in the top 5 guys and so was eliminated from the competition.

In my opinion, Gev was definitely the best all around entertainer and performer in Season 4 of SYTYCD. He follows in the footsteps of Nick Lazzarini from season one and Benji Schwimmer from season two. Unfortunately, perhaps because of his foreign origin or some other unknown reason, he wasn't able to go all the way to the end.

Gev is described as being born in Kazakhstan, but what isn't mentioned is that Kazakhstan was still part of the Soviet Union when Gev was born. The fall of the Soviet Union was good for the world no matter what, but whatever role that played in helping Gev get to the United States makes it even sweeter.

Gev's primary genre is supposed to be break dancing, but he showed that he could do every style beautifully. Whether it be contemporary, Broadway, cha-cha, jive, rumba, or disco, Gev was amazing in his rendition. Especially in something like Broadway, Gev looks like a new Gene Kelly. It's just something wonderful to watch.

Good things do come in small packages, and Gev's shorter stature didn't hurt him at all. If anything it made him even cuter. His butt, hips, arms, and shaved chest and the way he moved them, along with his delightful personality, made him the complete package.

It's hard to pick one of his performances as my favorite, but I really like the Indian routine that he did with all of the other dancers on the results show where he lost. If you play it back and focus on Gev, you will see just how much he threw himself into the job. He always had a passion for all of his work and you can see how he adds extra touches to set him above the other four guys that were left on the show. The open shirt was a nice touch also.

Fortunate is his partner, when Gev gives "the message". Anyone that can afford it should get an Armenian dancing boy.

The Trials Of Raj Bhavsar

2008-06-21T23:07:00.015-04:00

The final day of the Mens Olympic gymnastic trials in Philadelphia were shown on NBC on June 21. The coverage was focused on Raj Bhavsar and his pursuit of a guaranteed position on the team. As anyone who follows mens gymnastics knows, the prejudice of the USA Gymnastics organization against Indian-Americans and the favoritism shown to a favored few, has and would probably again keep Raj off of the team unless he clinched an automatic position under the rules. The commentators seemed to understand that and kept the story of the event being about Raj and how he could beat the selection committee from keeping him from going to Beijing.

The NBC team consisted of the usual Elfi Schlegel, Al Trautwig and Tim Daggett. There was also a short incomprehensible "comment" from Bela Karolyi, which sounded identical to a curse from a confused street person. Tim again provided the most color in the commentary by making everything sound like a review of a gay adult video. Tim speaking about Sasha Artemev: "H's so dynamic, so big..", "It's just a trill ride of a routine.", "He'll put his hand out backward and do a full spin.", "This is where it gets really nasty..."

The commentary from Elfi wasn't as informative. About Sasha, she said that he's so frustrated because he doesn't know what he is doing wrong on the pommel horse. Well, the answer is he keeps falling off of it. It didn't take any journalistic credentials to see that.

When Raj finished his rotations it was noted that he had barely missed meeting the threshold to get the automatic placement. He needed to be in the top two overall and in he top three in three individual events. Al asked Tim if there was any sentimentality about Raj being in the same place twice so that he could get the spot he had earned. Al should have asked, is there enough integrity in the selection process to allow Raj to be selected. Tim's answer would have fit either question: "There is not."

At the end of the event it was announced that Jonathan Horton and Paul Hamm had been selected for the team. So far, that's understandable as Hamm and Horton would be in anyone's list of the top 6 Americans. Horton placed highest among U.S. men at the last world championship. Hamm had injured his hand so he had to petition for inclusion instead of earning it at the trials, but his mastery of the sport is unchallenged.

It was stated that within a day the remainder of the team would be selected after all the various factors were considered that would give the resulting team the best results. If past experience is a worthy guide, it is extremely likely that that principle would quickly be thrown out and any sense of objectivity would be ignored and the final selection made by a combination of favoritism and prejudice. That's the way USA Gymnastics likes it instead of just leaving it up to the athletes to earn the top six scores at the trials.

BTW, I was sad there was no air time given to Guillermo Alvarez. He's still one of my favorites.

The nuttiest comment from NBC's coverage: Al Trautwig said about Kevin Tan, "I think it's unbelievable that the United States could have a man of Chinese descent with them when they travel to Beijing."

Gratuitous image of Joe Hagerty in a suggestive pose.

June 22 Update: Not surprisingly, Raj Bhavsar was screwed once again out of his proper place on the U.S. Olympic team. The calculations used for selecting the team added in the value of each of the athlete's skills on the apparatuses and then gave a huge deduction to anyone that was a Desi. It disgusts me that a sports governing body in the United States would be so flagrantly prejudiced against ethnic groups that don't fit don't fit into their stereotypes that the best gymnasts are only of European and East Asian ethnicity. Raj was selected as an alternate and it will be interesting to see if injury causes a team member to drop and whether or not USA Gymnastics will be so bold as to try to block a great American like Raj Bhavsar one more time because he doesn't look like they do.

The team will be the shirtless Paul Hamm, Morgan Hamm, Jonathan Horton, Justin Spring, Kevin Tan, and Joe Hagerty. Alternates are Raj, Alexander Artemev and David Durante.

Work Out: Briana Escapes

2008-06-15T20:34:00.006-04:00

In season three, episode nine of Work Out, it was all about Jackie's fury over losing control over one of her minions, her girlfriend/serf Briana.

While Jackie was spying on Briana by searching through her phone, Jackie had found a message from Briana's ex-girlfriend saying "I love you." Since love, as in the ability to put someone else's needs above yours, is something that Jackie is incapable of, she was immediately jealous of someone else that could give it.

Jackie hauled Briana in to see her counselor, Dr. Shirley. Jackie spoke of why she was totally right and Briana was totally wrong. Unfortunately for Jackie, the doctor didn't just agree with Jackie, so Jackie turned to two people that she knew she had the power over to make them agree to anything she wanted them to. So Jackie went out to eat with Rebecca Cardon and Jesse Brune to talk about the problem that she has created with Briana.

Jackie expressed her bewilderment about Briana having a connection with any other human being. Jackie pointed out that Briana had one of the most essential qualifications for being Jackie's girlfriend: "She adores me. She's all about me." This confusion felt by Jackie reminded me of plantation owners who were completely surprised that their slaves would rise up for their freedom because they didn't enjoy being owned by Massa.

Rebecca and Jesse tried to play along, but Jesse being a compassionate person didn't want Briana to be hurt anymore. He knew that for a good person, a life lived with Jackie would be a living hell, so he encouraged Jackie to think about breaking up in order to protect Briana.

Later on, Greg Plitt, Renessa Williams and Rebecca spent an evening at Greg's. The good time was interrupted when Briana finally left Jackie's house, and Jackie called Rebecca and commanded her to appear before Jackie immediately and pretend to have sympathy. Jackie said she appreciated that Rebecca would drop whatever she was doing to help Jackie. Jackie didn't mention that Rebecca knows what terrible retribution Rebecca would face if she didn't do what she was ordered to do. Rebecca went to Jackie's house and again played along with every vile thing that Jackie spewed from her mouth about Briana.

Near the end of the episode, Briana showed up at Sky Sport with flowers, which Jackie liked because it was similar to be given a tribute offering from a vassal state. Sadly for Briana, she seems to be missing a necessary sense of revulsion. Human evolution has provided us with this sense to protect us from bad things that could harm us. We instinctively are repelled by the scent of old rotting meat. Apparently this scent has no effect on Briana.

At the close, Jackie summed up the third season by saying, "I'm at a place that I will do the best thing for myself." You know the place where you have no thought, no feeling, no concern for any other living thing other than yourself? Oh yeah, she's there.

Work Out: Straight To Video

2008-06-08T22:36:00.011-04:00

In season three, episode eight of Work Out, it was all about the making of the work out DVD.

At the start of the episode, Andrea Ambandos, the director/producer of the DVD, continued to have worries about Jackie being able to show that she could handle some actual responsibility. Jackie had been making excuses for not finishing the preparations for making the DVD and Andrea was understandably concerned. To try to move things along, Andrea brought video choreographer Keli Roberts to Sky Sport and Spa, hoping that meeting with Jackie would force Jackie to work on planning her routines.

To show her usual contempt for other people, Jackie showed up for the meeting an hour late. She imperiously remarked, "Hey, this is how it is. If I have to make you wait twenty minutes ... you have to wait twenty minutes." This scene gave the viewers another example of what an obnoxious, disrespectful hypocrite Jackie is on the show. She had previously talked about how terrible it was when the trainers showed up late or when the clients made excuses. Is it any surprise that Jackie believes these things only apply to others and not to a person as high and mighty as she erroneously believes that she is?

Jackie expressed a lame thought she had about breaking the routine up into threes, saying "Good things come in threes." Unfortunately, this show in its 3rd season is definitely not a good thing. It has only served to erase any goodwill that Jackie had previously gained and showed everyone what a loathsome monster she is by the way she treats people.

To get ready for the taping, Jackie, realizing that she had let her body go to hell recently, spent a little time trying to get back in shape. She went training in the hills and slipped and fell on her coccyx. Truly this was the highlight of the season. It could only have been surpassed by a shot of her falling over the side of a cliff as well.

The other trainers for the DVD had to be selected, so Andrea and Jackie did an audition of the Sky Sport trainers. Everyone did some routines and they looked pretty good. Jesse Brune felt that Greg Plitt was definitely video-worthy, saying, "I would put Greg Plitt in my work out video before I'd put me in my workout video." I on the other hand would put Jesse in my video before anybody else. Of course my video would only be available in the adult section in the back of the video store instead of on bravotv.com, but it would still provide viewers some scenes of physically demanding action.

In the end Rebecca Cardon, Renessa Williams, Agostina Lanieri, and of course Jesse were cast. Jesse was a given for personality alone. Feeling pretty good about his selection, he said, "Jackie Warner has said to everyone, 'Hey, that Jesse, he's somebody.'" I agree with the affirmation, but I have to point out that the selections were clearly made on the basis of Jackie not allowing anyone to be in the video that she felt could upstage her.

To get ready for the taping, there was a practice session with Keli at Ography dance studio. Keli led the trainers in a "dance" aerobic routine, which showed that Jackie couldn't do routines in a choreographed way. Jackie indicated that she needed to do things like army fitness instead (to hide her lack of finesse). The more exciting thing to watch was Jesse when he lifted his shirt. He was hot and sweaty. Yummy. Jackie had also had Jesse take his shirt off during the audition. Two views of that attractive man flesh. Be still my heart.

The taping for the DVD was uneventful except for Jackie flubbing her lines and laughing, probably at the thought that anyone would be dumb enough to buy a Jackie Warner fitness dvd when there are so many others out there by actual celebrities.

In the other event of the episode, Jesse set up JD on a blind date. Jesse's reasoning was expressed as "Sweet JD. You know, JD has been after me since he's met me. So to deter him from that, I decided to set him up on a date." Jesse has a lot of trepidation about setting up anyone on date but it is not clear why that is. I've set up plenty of blind dates and never worried about it. My methodology is easy. I copy the names and phone numbers written over the urinal at the bar and hand them out to people I feel need a little help in meeting somebody nice. I know they will have a good time, because that's what the message states and because they don't have to stress about the possibility of a second date.

JD met his date Derek at Dolce restaurant. It's hard to watch people try to carry on in such an awkward situation. Even harder to watch is the mouth slobbering the two of them did at the end of the date. Saliva is for digesting food, not expressing attraction.

Jackie Warner: The Bad Seed

2008-06-01T00:44:00.004-04:00

In season three, episode seven of Work Out, it was all about familial relations, especially the ties that grind. Jackie Warner's mom Karen came to visit and this gave Jackie another opportunity to make her mother feel embarrassed and distraught about her daughter's life and behavior.

Jackie stated that her mother is a fundamentalist, who thinks that Jackie is going to burn in Hellfire for the rest of eternity. Jackie said that her mom thinks this because Jackie is a lesbian, but if you ask me, I believe it is more likely that Jackie will be in the lake of fire because of her abusive insensitivity to fellow human beings and her ego's all-consuming worship of her imagined business skills. Also, we can't discount the possibility of a direct contract with Beelzebub to trade her soul for a fitness center. That may the only logical answer to how she ever got this far.

The mom arrived and Jackie lamented that she finds herself regressing around her mother. Oh great, that means an even more immature acting version of the bitch.

About her girlfriend Briana, Jackie says to her mom, "Don't scare this one off." Mom replied, "I haven't ever scared anybody off. You have a way of doing that." I guess Mom is pretty astute about her daughter's social skills.

Jackie kept asking her mom if she had any questions about Briana. Mom said she didn't, but I'm guessing she really wanted to ask Jackie how she could find anyone that could stand to be around her.

The visit quickly disintegrated into inevitable unhappiness because in typical Jackie fashion, she didn't care enough to tell her mom ahead of time that Briana's mother and sisters were coming to stay at Jackie's at the same time. Mom's trip from Dayton to spend quality time alone with Jackie was ruined.

Later, Jackie visited her counselor. I don't what methodology is being used, but I think for Jackie to get better, she needs to get to the point where she can stand up in front of a group and say, "I'm Jackie, and I'm a horrible person."

On a lighter note, Jesse Brune's sister Bethany visited him. She came with him to Sky Lab, where he helped her work out. Jesse told an anecdote about Bethany stealing Jackie's number from his cell phone and making a prank call to her. It would have been better if Bethany had written it on every restroom stall from L.A. to Yakima, but the prank would have been on the people who found it who would have gotten the extreme opposite of a good time.

Jesse and Bethany finished exercising and they went shopping. Just an aside: I want to go shopping with Jesse also and maybe spend some extended time with him in the fitting room.

Jesse also went shopping with his client Natalie for a "goal dress" at his friends' store "Sugar". I call that type of wear aspirational clothing. I have a few shirts with the price tags still on them in my closet that fit that description. Jesse told Natalie that he wanted her to get something that she was terrified of. I would like to get some clothing advice from Jesse, but I'm terrified of pleather and I hope Jesse wouldn't try to convince me to wear that.

Work Out: The All You Can Drink Diet

2008-05-21T20:42:00.006-04:00

In season three, episode six of Work Out, it was all about how training clients to lead a healthy lifestyle doesn't preclude the trainers from getting liquored up and enjoying a lot of carb-free wine and booze.

The initial serving from the distilled grain alcohol food group came at the end of the first full day of Jackie Warner's Sky Lab retreat at Dolphin Bay Hotel and Residences. After Jackie went to bed in a futile attempt to get some beauty sleep, the trainers went to the hotel bar for some heavy-duty exercise of their livers and quaffing muscles.

Greg Plitt hit the sauce hard and proposed a tipsy toast to his fellow trainers: "To Skye for bringing us all together. Because without Skye, I wouldn't have known each individual and every single one of you has enriched my life and I hope that maybe I've enriched your life and I think we've all enriched each other's lives through the process." Really, I can't take the credit for bringing them all together, but I appreciate the sopping sentiment.

Erika Jacobson was then inspired by Greg's salute by slurring one of her own: "Here's to a great weekend with a lot of breakthroughs." Strangely, that statement turned out to be more of a premonition than an assessment as Darth Lisa, the menacing office manager of malicious intrigue, proceeded to let the tops of her boobs break out of her stretched open shirt for everyone to inspect. It was nasty. The better breakthrough would have been the one that Greg, as the typical drunken straight boy, was encouraging in Gregg Butler's crotch as Greg copped a substantial feel of Gregg's extra g. I guess it's a quick shot from physical trainer to snake charmer.

Greg "redeemed" himself by getting wasted and near naked with Renessa Williams in the pool and hot tub. I don't condone public displays of heterosexuality so I will censor any other comments about that scene.

Before the retreat ended, Jackie tried to make it seem more worthwhile to the paying clients by spending some time answering questions about nutrition. She talked about food additives, the concept of comfort foods and the need to eat foods that are filling but good for you. Unfortunately for the Sky Lab clients, they could have gotten the same information for free from the USDA's web site, all without forking over thousands of dollars to Jackie. On the other hand, Jesse Brune made the comment that "I don't think that it's a good retreat unless there's a little sex involved." Now to me that would be a good reason to blow your wad spending a weekend with your hunky trainer. It would even be worth listening to Jackie act like she's an expert about anything.

The second round of drinks during this episode came at the Doug Blasdell fundraiser. Brian Peeler was there and since his spirit was troubled from being fired, being separated from his wife, and being basically homeless, he used the good spirits from the cash bar to try to wash his bad ones away. The drinks made Brian a little exuberant but it was totally excusable under the circumstances. The disturbing part of it was when he shared a sloshed love segment with Jackie. He told her loved her, which was absolutely the vodka talking. Nothing that is less than 100 proof could cause anyone to act like they actually loved Jackie. Her emotionless response fortunately helped bring Brian to his senses and with a few fitting expletives he turned his back on the witch for the final time.

Jackie's Retreat From Humanity

2008-05-14T01:54:00.007-04:00

In season three, episode five of Work Out, Jackie Warner took her clients and the trainers on an out-of-town retreat. To the viewers, it was like watching Mrs. Voorhees and the camp counselors going to Camp Crystal Lake. Even without the Friday the 13th theme music, you would have to know that nothing good could come from it. With Jackie around a group of strangely unconcerned victims, there were sure to be a lot of hurt feelings and injured bodies lying around.

At the beginning of the episode before the trip, Jackie continued to voice her hatred of Brian Peeler to anyone that would listen. It still infuriated Jackie that anyone had dared to stand up to her, especially a man like Brian. Of course, Jackie wouldn't want anyone to see that someone could successfully get her riled, so despite the fact that everything was captured on camera and despite the fact that all the trainers know what a tyrant she is, Jackie absurdly claimed that she handled Brian's firing "professionally". Such a statement is really beyond belief. It doesn't accurately show the kind of person that Jackie is, whereas her description of Shannon (Brian's Sky Lab partner that Jackie left in the lurch) as one her "pets", does. It's consistent with Jackie's treatment of people like animals. At least she reassigned Shannon to caring JD Jordan (who she told she had her (evil) eye on).

Greg Plitt, as a real stand up guy, spent some time with Brian to make sure he was okay. Greg told Brian that his standing up for his client while putting his job on the line showed real character. Greg also showed that he has a talent for analysis as he went on to say that Jackie attacks Peeler and her own friends for the same reason, that she is someone who has insecurities and who can't accept who they are so they have to belittle others. That's a pretty good observation.

There's no better group to belittle than a captive audience, so Jackie decided to take her Sky Lab clients to a retreat outside of L.A. She claimed she wanted them to have A life changing weekend. Much more likely was that she wanted to have an out of town trip that she could claim as a business expense and where she could cause maximum misery.

The Sky Lab trainers and clients traveled by bus to the Dolphin Bay Hotel and Residences. During the trip Jesse Brune acted as if he was about to kiss Jackie and she pulled away while joking about having cold sores. Jesse politely laughed in order to get along.

After they arrived and ate dinner, Jackie told only the trainers that the next day's activities would start at 5am. She could have told the clients as a courtesy, but her cruel streak wouldn't let her. "There will be tears!" she gleefully uttered.

The next day, Jackie overexerted the clients and particularly relished having obese Deenie walk on her injured ankle. When Deenie stated that she needed water, Jackie ridiculed and castigated her for being dehydrated. Deenie went and got water even though Jackie didn't want her to. It was nice to see Deenie stand up to the witch and also nice to see the Propel brand water bottles obscured after that advertiser couldn't take supporting such a vile person like Jackie after the bad treatment of Jamie Eason.

By the way, is anyone else tired of hearing any kind of exercise session or physical activity called a "boot camp"? I guess I'm having a finger boot camp on my keyboard right now.

At the end of the episode there was a group therapy session where the consensus of the group was to try to destroy whatever hint of self-respect Deenie still had for herself. There was an obvious desire by some of the clients to build themselves up by insulting her, especially super loser Micah. I gained new respect for Deenie for being able to withstand the abuse that was heaped on her and respect for Natalie for caring for a fellow human being rather than joining in the mob mentality. On the other hand, if possible, I lost even more respect for Jackie as she sat back and let it happen.

It was disappointing to see Jesse Brune join in the schoolyard taunts of Deenie and her weight problem. No man is perfect and it appears that Jesse's weakness is to go along with other people rather than standing up for what's right. I assume this behavior may have been caused by a feeling of being left out in his youth and now he goes out of his way to be part of the group. Since Natalie showed that she is willing to protect others even when it is not popular, I hope this is something that she can help her partner Jesse learn to be better at.

Jackie Warner: Bad Boss Or Just Evil?

2008-05-07T21:31:00.012-04:00

In season three, episode four of Work Out, there is almost no airtime for Jesse Brune, so all the focus was on Jackie Warner's reign of terror over Sky Sport. Her inexorable displeasure with anything that is good or decent in this world was displayed as she disparaged the trainers and allowed her clients to be mocked.

After she returned from a lesbian cruise, Jackie returned home and spoke about it with her girlfriend, Briana. Jackie said that she "had it up to here with 'the trainers'". You have to image her saying it as one may talk about being around livestock or something else less than human. She went on to say, "Just, you know what? I'm not used to being in such small quarters with them. I can take them in doses, but to have to force socializing, like morning, noon and night..." It would have been interesting to hear from the female trainers what it was like being in close quarters with such a vicious creature like Jackie. Their story might have been another "Voyage of the Damned".

At work, Jackie talked to the Sky Lab clients. She wanted to know how they were bonding with their trainers. (Natalie said she and Jesse are practically best friends.) Jackie did a boot camp and was disappointed in the clients' performance (surprise). You know, maybe if she would stop having them exercise outside in the polluted air they wouldn't get winded so easily.

Inside, Lisa, the office's manager of gossip and malicious manipulation, narked to Jackie on Brian Peeler's previous conversation with Don Scott, which was shown in the previous episode. Jackie replied that she always hated Brian and then purportedly gave a list of Brian's faults, but which in fact accurately only described her. "Everything for Brian Peeler is about Brian Peeler" and "'Why aren't I getting enough attention'" and "He bulldozes in on everything." Replace the subject of these jabs with Jackie and it sounds much more believable.

Speaking of being desperate for attention, client Deenie blew up at her trainer Gregg Butler for not being focused enough on her. It sounded like she didn't need a trainer as much as she needs a boyfriend or a shrink or an outfit that resists stains such as a heavy cream sauce or tears (see video clip below). For me, if I'm paying someone for a service, I don't want them to pretend we're friends (unless of course the service is prostitution and the fantasy of the hour is being man's best friend on all fours).

In other news, Gregg Plitt and Erika Jacobson did a photo shoot together and they showed some attraction for each other. Boring.

The real drama of the episode was saved for the end. Jackie and Lisa watched Brian Peeler doing a session with famous fitness model Jamie Eason. One of the two Sky Sport women made fun of Jamie breasts. Jamie's boyfriend overheard the comments and told Jackie that Jamie was a breast cancer survivor. Jackie said the situation was an accident, as in an unfortunate accident that she got caught.

Later, after a meeting with the trainers to discuss making a fitness video, Brian asked to speak with Jackie. He wanted to discuss the Jamie affair. Since he was her trainer, and he was the one that put Jamie in a position to be ridiculed at Sky Sport, he was quite justified to tell Jackie how unacceptable her behavior had been. Jackie said she wasn't going to discuss it. Well, there didn't need to be a discussion. She just needed to sit back and be told what an implacable bitch she is, for whom getting karma cancer would still not be sufficient retribution for her being such a horrible person. She didn't want hear it so she ended up firing Brian to try to silence him.

As he left the office, Brian accurately pointed out that "she is just a worthless human body for doing that to somebody."

About the workout video: Jackie was given an opportunity to make an exercise dvd, proving again that any two-bit "celebrity" can make one. More refuse to fill up the bargain bins at Kmart. Jackie said she wanted to include her sexiest trainers, so of course that should mean that Jesse Brune would have to be included. We'll see.

Digest Of Week Ending 05-02-08

2008-05-03T22:37:00.000-04:00

Sunday, April 27. 60 Minutes. There was a segment on the Israel Air Force. As I have said before, there are hot young men defending the Jewish homeland. Because of security reasons, they couldn't show the faces of the airmen, but you could tell they were as sexy as their earthbound counterparts in the IDF. There was also a piece on Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia. I believe his conservative views sway his decisions more than a search for justice. but I agree with the concept of original intent. When the original part of the Constitution or any of the amendments were written, they were done succinctly, capturing what the essence of the purpose of clause. They could do that, because most people at the time would know what the language was suppose to cover. The alternative would be to make each amendment contain as much small print as possible to cover every possible situation, like a legal contract. Amendments could be like 60 pages apiece. That's probably what we will see in the future.

Big Brother 9. Thank goodness Adam Jasinski won over Ryan Quicksall. I didn't care for either one of them, but between the two of them, I disliked Ryan more. When the jury was discussing the merits of the two finalists it sounded like they were learning towards Ryan. Egads! It looks like only Joshuah Welch stayed with Ryan till the end though. Was it because of a crush? Regardless, Joshuah made himself sound like an ass when he was trying to bitch out Adam for not being deferential enough to her highness. Joshuah needs to get over himself. On the internet feed he said things that made him seem even more creepy. He's the standard gay psycho bitch that reality TV loves to cast. On the other hand, if he follows through with his suggestion that he might do gay adult video, that could be worth watching. He and other BB9 cast members (including Sheila Kennedy and her son!) partied with Chi Chi LaRue after the wrap party.

Tuesday, April 29. American Idol. Jason Castro keeps getting weaker and weaker. I mean with the sound presence. It just keeps diminishing. Soon he will only be barely humming the songs. He's winding down and he needs to just wander off of the stage and into some smoky haze. I wish David Archuleta would have rather sang "Hello Again" instead of "Sweet Caroline". He could have had a classic performance with it. It's my favorite Neil Diamond song. I have to admit that Syesha did a reasonably good job with it, but I think it would be best sung by a male voice. This week seemed to be the happiest I have seen Archuleta. His eyes were twinkling on overdrive.

Wednesday, April 30. American Idol. I guess it doesn't matter what order the contestants leave before we get to the final two of David Archuleta and David Cook, but the order this season seems more random than in order of talent. Who would think that Brooke White should leave before Jason Castro? Speaking of Jason, wouldn't he be the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul? He could speak inane, not-quite-there blather as well as she has. Of course he might think people have sang four or five songs when they have only sang one, so it would probably be better to stick with Paula.

Thursday, May 1. Survivor. Finally, a dramatic usage of the hidden immunity idol when Amanda Kimmel saved herself and forced the elimination of Alexis Jones. I just with the usage of the idol would also allow the holder to rehide it by ramming it up the ass of the person leading their eviction effort. In this case, a quick thrust sideways up Natalie Bolton would be just what Nat deserved and would make a trip to exile island totally worth it.

Friday, May 2. 20/20: Secrets of the Sistine, Michelangelo's Mystery. This special presentation was about a set of absurd theories on what Michelangelo might have hidden in his imagery when he painted the Sistine Chapel. They only left out the possibility of a second savior on the grassy knoll and God flying in on his extraterrestrial spaceship to give Adam life.

Work Out: Getting Dirty

2008-04-30T23:02:00.006-04:00

In season three, episode three of Work Out, it was all about the boys getting dirty in the mud and the girls on a kooz cruise trying to figure out if it is better to have tuna with good taste or tuna that tastes good.

Jackie Warner had taken the females on a lesbian cruise, so Brian Peeler had asked the male trainers at Sky Sport as a counterpoint to join him as a team to do a mud run at Camp Pendleton's 10K obstacle course. Peeler saw it as a bonding experience for the five of them: Peeler, Greg Plitt, JD Jordan, Jesse Brune and Gregg Butler. At the time that Peeler first presented the idea, some of the guys said they looked forward to getting in the mud. Personally, I can't stand even getting my hands soiled and deliberately jumping into mud would be unthinkable. On the other hand, I have to agree with Jesse: "Honestly, being trapped on a boat with a bunch of lesbians, versus going to play in the mud, I'd choose the mud."

The boys went to the base and started the run (sans shirts). Peeler had shown a lot of bravado about how much better he would do than his teammates, but shortly after starting, he got a cramp at mile 1. This didn't hold back the two gay trainers. JD and Jesse went out in front of their team and ended up with the real bonding experience. They made their theme of the day be "eat our fairy dust". They finished the course just under an hour but then had to wait for the rest of the team. Their performance was really good. I'm used to seeing gay guys only doing drag races, and in heels, they don't run so fast.

Peeler ended up being alone and last by a long, long, long margin. He was a little miffed because he loves the thought of buddy activities and he was more interested in the camaraderie of the team rather than its placement. He didn't care about coming in last as long as he had his mates with him to share the moment.

Peeler was able to share a group shower after the race and he was shown going under the water in his boxer briefs. Jesse said that the water must have been cold (suggesting that Peeler had a small package and that the temperature of the water could be used as an excuse). Jesse must not have had a good vantage point or else had water in his eye, because the camera showed that Peeler has at least a ballpark frank and maybe even a large size tin of Spam.

Peeler let himself be the subject of good natured ribbing about his performance. He was happy to enjoy the fraternization. He took the opportunity to ask the guys what their opinion was about his previous unhappy experience with the Don Scott meeting with Jackie (concerning the Doug Blasdell fundraiser) where Peeler was excluded. Peeler said he had no idea why Jackie doesn't like him and he wanted to know if the men had any insight. Jesse pondered what he should say, knowing that he had already discussed the matter with Jackie and had gotten her side of the event. Jesse finally said that his opinion was that Jackie was disturbed by Brian's insistence of remembering and referring to Doug and his death after she and supposedly everyone else wanted to forget it. Jesse suggested that there was an appearance that Peeler's onging mourning of Doug's passing was not so much about his feeling of loss but rather an attempt by Peeler to get attention.

Here is an interesting psychological situation. You have two people, Jackie and Jesse, that are both uncomfortable about Brian's persistence in talking about Doug. However, the reason for each one's discomfort, whether they understand it or not, is very different. Jackie doesn't like Brian because he is a caring, compassionate person, which is something that she knows she can never be. She sees the enjoyment that others have in being human and resents that such joy will never be hers in her soulless existence. It is easy to understand then why she would direct the resulting bitterness towards a person that embodies the essence of what is to her an unattainable achievement. On the other, Jesse has character and soul but he has a weakness of wanting to avoid that which makes him unhappy. He had had a disagreement with Doug but had made up with him before the end. Still, there is a noticeable distress that Jesse feels when reminded of Doug. Therefore he just wants Peeler to stop bringing it up so that he, Jesse, can bury the memories deeper in the vault of unsettling shadows of things past.

Gregg and Jesse go further by trying to make Peeler understand that nothing is going to change Jackie's tyranny over Sky Sport and that all the trainers had to accept the loss of their dignity and self-respect if they want wanted to keep working for the monster.

Meanwhile, on the les-boat, poor Rebecca Cardon had to play pool games, including lesbian balloon popping. She had to give a lap dance with sufficient force to pop a balloon that lay between her and her gamy partner, exploding the protective latex that separated her from the unpleasantness below. She had fun but said it was the most mortifying experience of her life. She just wanted to get off the ship.

Quote that most endears me to Rebecca: "I miss the penis."